Bwash_Ram

Looks raw to me, All meat should be well cooked and veg and .. well everything in my book.

Overdone. 

I think he's just waiting for the rest of the northern classic to be placed on top of the first digestive.
 
 
 

What do you call two crows?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
attempted murder

A dishevelled bloke wobbles and weaves his way into a DIY store...

"Bottle of methylated spirit please" he says

“Look mate, I wasn't born yesterday” replies the shop assistant. “I can't sell that to you when I know you're just going to sit and drink it"

“Hey, what are you implying?” says the man. “I'm just using it for woodwork!"

“Ok, Ok..." says the assistant, taking a bottle off the shelf.

“Oh FFS” says the man. “haven't you got a cold one?"

No sign of Brooke Shields. Did Google edit the picture?

Said to my friend, "I just watched that film about the Nazis."
He said, "Oh what, the one with Adolf in?"
I said, "No pal, you're thinking of 'Flipper', this was just about the Nazis."

Yes hands free kits are cheap and readily available, ive got one on my compu.. . oh probably TMI

Yes hands free kits are cheap and readily available, ive got one on my compu.. . oh probably TMI

People who are neither teachers or students who use the phrase "Out on a school night", when describing a visit to a pub or bar on a midweek evening.
Accept that you are old and have a meaningless job now!

Arse with reggae reggae sauce. 

Don't think we are, it's just that I prefer the dumbed down approach which at times may seem like I'm making light of it, which is never the intention, the intention is to not freak people out with fancy medical terms and simplify it to where the spark plug needs changing in the car for example.
Still needs sorting, not to be ignored. Mechanics are there on hand, but you can also do this by yourself.
On a forum that is dominated by men, men who are supposed to be the strong ones, the leaders of the pack, it's difficult to accept at times that we may have a few issues that are seen as weaknesses which is why this thread is pretty awesome. 

At £4.50 a pint that glass is fair game.

Man at a funeral goes up to the widow....
Man:     "Do you mind if I say a word?"
Widow:    "No, of course not".
Man:     (Clears throat) "Plethora"
Widow:    "Oh, thank you, that means a lot".

Dear lord God in his mercy ?

Its got to be a local Indian establishment after watching the match in the pub.
 

That’s me on the left. 

Falling asleep half way through drinking a beer then having to decide what to do with it the next morning. Chug or chuck?  

Long term couples, usually already married for at least 3 years, who use the phrase "date night" to describe themselves going to the cinema to watch a **** film, probably something like The Avengers, followed by a meal at Zizzi's (probably located right next to the cinema) that consists of ordering the second cheapest thing on the menu, one glass of wine each, no dessert and then a trip home by 10pm to sit on the sofa staring at their phones and not having sex.

I went out last night after the game and got accidentally drunk...and stole a really cool beer glass from the last bar we were in...cheered me up a bit this morning when I saw it on the kitchen table. 

Yeah and him too...

That put him in his plaice.

Scaled up the size too.

Used a fish eye lens obviously..

Nice bit of seafood.