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Tony Pulis' hat.


Alph

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Theo Walcott making demands from Arsenal or suggesting he will leave. Where to? United? City? Chelsea? Barca? Stay at Arsenal you deluded gimp. You couldn't cross a road or shoot a coconut. You've got your mouth running as fast as your legs.

Grant Hoult "can't believe" he wasn't included in the England side. Himself, Graham and Lambert should all be given a chance. Yes, because teams have been queuing up for you. There's a big gap you need to breach sunshine. And you ain't got it.

If Danny Graham plays for England then all the UK teams will be at the same level.

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Pre-planned celebrations.

Imagine a teammate saying "oh, if I score we should do that dance"

"No" is the correct response.

Celebrate if it's natural emotions by all means

Pat whoever contributed to it on the back otherwise.

Don't have "that thing he does"

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  • 1 month later...

Exchanges like the following with a work experience lad at work.

Me: Which team do you support?

WE Lad: Manchester United. What about you?

Me: Derby County

WE Lad: *looks blank*

The fact that 'they're my home team' is an excuse not to support a top 4 side, rather than a reason to support a football team particularly rankles. Especially as I travelled over 200 miles and spent over £50 to watch my team play today, and he's a Man Utd 'fan' from Birmingham who's probably never even been to Manchester. And bearing in mind saying things like 'they won the league 40 years ago' or 'they were **** in the PL 4 years ago' don't really wash with a 15 year old. Nice lad though.

Oh, and football supporters who insist on chanting and singing while nowhere near a football ground. The match finished three hours ago, lads, give it a rest.

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I think I've mentioned it before but I need to know if it bothers anyone else.

"...........at this football club"

"........... on the football pitch"

"......... winning football matches"

Stop trying to sound so bloody intelligent!!! ******!!

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Last night I experienced a dangerous and possibly lethal mix of mental emotions, they consisted of envy, jealousy and hatred.

Whilst at a family members 25th wedding anniversary the band played Tom Jones's Delilah. I was the only one out of 220 people stood at the bar, I was the only one not smiling, I was the only one drinking.

To Derby County and Stoke City.... I hate the both of you.

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Manish said Palace have slapped a £20m tag on Zaha? Is that true? I thought it was all just media hype and speculation?

That big feature on Zaha made me laugh because he did nothing today to stick on a highlights reel. This is the lad that's worth £20m and is going to be playing right at the top of the PL........ But he was marked out the game at home to Derby?

Good player, but shut up!

Ridiculous hype

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The FL league show

Football on ITV

Sunday kick offs.

Early kick offs

Luis Suarez

Liverpool fans who adore Suarez

Liverpool

Liverpool fans

Everton not beating Liverpool the other week

Adlene Guediorrahcsgcadaala

Lee Camps poetry prowess

Leicester

Leicester fans

'Uhuhuhu Derby are ****'

Sacking a manager unnecessarily

'great, great, great player' *seen him play once*

2010- Derby beat Palace 5-1. Alberto Bueno has a stormer, on his debut, and scores twice. Manish Bahsin: 'they're getting excited about this Bueno down at Derby, aren't they?'

Steve 'numbnuts' Claridge: 'well, perhaps that's a little bit premature' *quickly change subject*

2012-Leicester lose to Blackburn, Jamie Vardy scores once

Manish: 'well what a performance from Jamie Vardy'

Claridge: 'I think he has Premiership potential, Manish' *both talk about him for 5 minutes*

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