Carl Sagan Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 I've finally worked out what the issue is. For the last few seasons, referees officiating our matches seem to get carried away if we're holding onto a lead and they have a tendency to keep playing until the opposition score. I'd suggest it might even have cost us promotion, these past few campaigns. Why does this happen to us? Why do referees frequently play 8 or 9 minutes of added time when we're under the cosh? It's the opposite of Fergie time given we've been the biggest club in the division for many of the last few years, so you'd expect us to get the decisions rather than the other way around. The solution has to be a black hole at our games. Maybe just a small one, but I can't fathom what else would do this. Those of you who know physics, or at least watched Interstellar, will realize that the closer you approach the event horizon of a black hole, the slower time passes. It effects both mechanical and biological clocks and must be the reason referees' watches run slowly at our matches. The good news is that provided the black hole is quite small, it could evaporate any time now through Hawking radiation. Until that happens referees should be made aware of the phenomenon and told to stop it. I can post this because we won anyway, but seriously - do other teams ever have to play out so much injury time to get the three points? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Mills Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 1 minute ago, Carl Sagan said: I've finally worked out what the issue is. For the last few seasons, referees officiating our matches seem to get carried away if we're holding onto a lead and they have a tendency to keep playing until the opposition score. I'd suggest it might even have cost us promotion, these past few campaigns. Why does this happen to us? Why do referees frequently play 8 or 9 minutes of added time when we're under the cosh? It's the opposite of Fergie time given we've been the biggest club in the division for many of the last few years, so you'd expect us to get the decisions rather than the other way around. The solution has to be a black hole at our games. Maybe just a small one, but I can't fathom what else would do this. Those of you who know physics, or at least watched Interstellar, will realize that the closer you approach the event horizon of a black hole, the slower time passes. It effects both mechanical and biological clocks and must be the reason referees' watches run slowly at our matches. The good news is that provided the black hole is quite small, it could evaporate any time now through Hawking radiation. Until that happens referees should be made aware of the phenomenon and told to stop it. I can post this because we won anyway, but seriously - do other teams ever have to play out so much injury time to get the three points? Yes. There isn't some secret illuminati footballing overlord who specifies that referees MUST issue more added time if Derby are winning. Thread over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North East Ram Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 You would say that being the secret illuminati footballing overlord. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 4 subs plus 3 goals. I said there would be at least 5 minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 There was a wardrobe sized black hole. I'll give you that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r4derby Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 15 minutes ago, RamNut said: There was a wardrobe sized black hole. I'll give you that. Racist. Darren played as well as always today Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Darren did ok but whereas Reading had Kermogant dropping off and linking the play, we had.....a wardrobe sized black hole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parsnip Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 55 minutes ago, Chris Mills said: Yes. There isn't some secret illuminati footballing overlord who specifies that referees MUST issue more added time if Derby are winning. Thread over. I always love to see people ending their comment with 'Close Thread' or 'Thread Over', it's so splendidly condescending. Can anyone do it or do you have to be a particular kind of bellend? Parsnip out. (drops mic). Close thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 2 hours ago, Carl Sagan said: The solution has to be a black hole at our games. Maybe just a small one, but I can't fathom what else would do this. Those of you who know physics, or at least watched Interstellar, will realize that the closer you approach the event horizon of a black hole, the slower time passes. It effects both mechanical and biological clocks and must be the reason referees' watches run slowly at our matches. The good news is that provided the black hole is quite small, it could evaporate any time now through Hawking radiation. Until that happens referees should be made aware of the phenomenon and told to stop it. It's a nice theory, but maybe you should leave the cosmology to the professionals Mr Sagan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Sagan Posted January 21, 2017 Author Share Posted January 21, 2017 1 hour ago, Anon said: It's a nice theory, but maybe you should leave the cosmology to the professionals Mr Sagan. How dare you, sir! ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperDerbySuperRams Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 I always stopwatch stoppage time because I'm a nervous git. 8 minutes 27 seconds! Although our fans didn't help by stealing the ball Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comrade 86 Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Clearly some posters are unaware that in fact, our very own Carl Sagan was an astronomer, cosmologist, astrophysicist and astrobiologist of world renown before faking his own death so that he could spend all his time watching Derby County and posting on this forum. As such, a tad more respect is due for our esteemed fellow forum dweller, even when his hypotheses appear to be fantastical nonsense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 I'm far too in ta Stella to make sense of this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comrade 86 Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 10 minutes ago, SuperDerbySuperRams said: I always stopwatch stoppage time because I'm a nervous git. 8 minutes 27 seconds! Although our fans didn't help by stealing the ball What didn't help was them eventually giving it back! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramit Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 19 minutes ago, reveldevil said: I'm far too in ta Stella to make sense of this thread. i'm with you fella, am on Remy Martin and this is all gibberish to me but i'm laughing non stop. i love being a Ram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Ram Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 13 hours ago, Parsnip said: I always love to see people ending their comment with 'Close Thread' or 'Thread Over', it's so splendidly condescending. Can anyone do it or do you have to be a particular kind of bellend? Parsnip out. (drops mic). Close thread. It's irritating isn't it? But when people are so sure that their opinion is without question the only valid one you may as well close the thread, the forum and in fact every aspect of being a football fan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sith Happens Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 14 hours ago, Carl Sagan said: I've finally worked out what the issue is. For the last few seasons, referees officiating our matches seem to get carried away if we're holding onto a lead and they have a tendency to keep playing until the opposition score. I'd suggest it might even have cost us promotion, these past few campaigns. Why does this happen to us? Why do referees frequently play 8 or 9 minutes of added time when we're under the cosh? It's the opposite of Fergie time given we've been the biggest club in the division for many of the last few years, so you'd expect us to get the decisions rather than the other way around. The solution has to be a black hole at our games. Maybe just a small one, but I can't fathom what else would do this. Those of you who know physics, or at least watched Interstellar, will realize that the closer you approach the event horizon of a black hole, the slower time passes. It effects both mechanical and biological clocks and must be the reason referees' watches run slowly at our matches. The good news is that provided the black hole is quite small, it could evaporate any time now through Hawking radiation. Until that happens referees should be made aware of the phenomenon and told to stop it. I can post this because we won anyway, but seriously - do other teams ever have to play out so much injury time to get the three points? There was a black hole between the ears of the fans who thought it was funny to play keep ball in added on time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bwash_Ram Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 17 hours ago, Tim Bucktoo said: You would say that being the secret illuminati footballing overlord. Everyone knows its the moon based fourth reich who are the football overlords, not the illuminati. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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