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AmericanRam got a reaction from Pearl Ram in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)
A dishevelled bloke wobbles and weaves his way into a DIY store...
"Bottle of methylated spirit please" he says
“Look mate, I wasn't born yesterday” replies the shop assistant. “I can't sell that to you when I know you're just going to sit and drink it"
“Hey, what are you implying?” says the man. “I'm just using it for woodwork!"
“Ok, Ok..." says the assistant, taking a bottle off the shelf.
“Oh FFS” says the man. “haven't you got a cold one?"
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AmericanRam got a reaction from Bwash_Ram in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)
A dishevelled bloke wobbles and weaves his way into a DIY store...
"Bottle of methylated spirit please" he says
“Look mate, I wasn't born yesterday” replies the shop assistant. “I can't sell that to you when I know you're just going to sit and drink it"
“Hey, what are you implying?” says the man. “I'm just using it for woodwork!"
“Ok, Ok..." says the assistant, taking a bottle off the shelf.
“Oh FFS” says the man. “haven't you got a cold one?"
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AmericanRam got a reaction from 1977 Ram Raider in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)
During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then?"
He replied, "I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now."
I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense."
He replied, "Neither do I. My thermometer just broke."
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AmericanRam got a reaction from I know nothing in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)
During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then?"
He replied, "I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now."
I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense."
He replied, "Neither do I. My thermometer just broke."
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AmericanRam got a reaction from Alph in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)
Said to my friend, "I just watched that film about the Nazis."
He said, "Oh what, the one with Adolf in?"
I said, "No pal, you're thinking of 'Flipper', this was just about the Nazis."
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AmericanRam got a reaction from ram1964 in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)
My friend had one of his testicles removed today after finding a lump.
That's how serious he is about mashed potatoes.
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AmericanRam got a reaction from Alph in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)
I'm amazed no one has come up with a cure for anorexia.
It's a piece of cake.
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AmericanRam got a reaction from 1977 Ram Raider in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)
Mr Whippy was sadly found dead in his van today.
He was covered in strawberry sauce and crushed nuts as well as hundreds and thousands.
Police reckon he topped himself.
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AmericanRam got a reaction from Bwash_Ram in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)
Said to my friend, "I just watched that film about the Nazis."
He said, "Oh what, the one with Adolf in?"
I said, "No pal, you're thinking of 'Flipper', this was just about the Nazis."
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AmericanRam got a reaction from Alph in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)
During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then?"
He replied, "I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now."
I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense."
He replied, "Neither do I. My thermometer just broke."
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AmericanRam got a reaction from Chester40 in Rate the last film you saw partie deux
Me and my lady watched Doctor Zhivago this morning.She had never seen it and neither had I.
I know it's considered a classic, but we both did not really enjoy it all that much.Maybe one need to watch more than once to see it's value?
Anyway, 4/10.
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AmericanRam got a reaction from Rev in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)
During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then?"
He replied, "I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now."
I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense."
He replied, "Neither do I. My thermometer just broke."
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AmericanRam got a reaction from Steve How Hard? in Picture where you, and your knee are now.
The lady and I at a local rodeo last night.A friend of mine won 1st place in the bull riding.??
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AmericanRam got a reaction from froggg in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)
Mr Whippy was sadly found dead in his van today.
He was covered in strawberry sauce and crushed nuts as well as hundreds and thousands.
Police reckon he topped himself.
-
AmericanRam got a reaction from Kinder in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)
Said to my friend, "I just watched that film about the Nazis."
He said, "Oh what, the one with Adolf in?"
I said, "No pal, you're thinking of 'Flipper', this was just about the Nazis."
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AmericanRam got a reaction from froggg in Picture where you, and your knee are now.
The lady and I at a local rodeo last night.A friend of mine won 1st place in the bull riding.??
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AmericanRam got a reaction from ThePrisoner in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)
Mr Whippy was sadly found dead in his van today.
He was covered in strawberry sauce and crushed nuts as well as hundreds and thousands.
Police reckon he topped himself.
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AmericanRam got a reaction from Gritstone Ram in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)
Mr Whippy was sadly found dead in his van today.
He was covered in strawberry sauce and crushed nuts as well as hundreds and thousands.
Police reckon he topped himself.
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AmericanRam got a reaction from Steve How Hard? in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)
Mr Whippy was sadly found dead in his van today.
He was covered in strawberry sauce and crushed nuts as well as hundreds and thousands.
Police reckon he topped himself.
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AmericanRam got a reaction from Alph in New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)
My friend had one of his testicles removed today after finding a lump.
That's how serious he is about mashed potatoes.
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AmericanRam got a reaction from Steve How Hard? in Picture where you, and your knee are now.
Definitely, she has a tv set up outside so I will be grillin and watching hoping yall get it done.?
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AmericanRam got a reaction from Steve How Hard? in Picture where you, and your knee are now.
The lady and I about to get some steaks and ribs at a great local butcher for a cookout were having this afternoon.?
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AmericanRam got a reaction from McRainy in Picture where you, and your knee are now.
The lady and I about to get some steaks and ribs at a great local butcher for a cookout were having this afternoon.?
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AmericanRam got a reaction from mozza in Picture where you, and your knee are now.
Definitely, she has a tv set up outside so I will be grillin and watching hoping yall get it done.?
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