McRainy

I wouldn't set too much store by CBT tbh, but talking therapies are free through your GP, an initial block of 12 sessions with the possibility of referral for a further 12. Depending on where you are, there are also voluntary sector providers like DRCS, which are pretty good. 
Do you have a sense of what it is that is making you feel like you can't carry on? Trying to think it through honestly yourself can help, even better if you can share it with friends/ family/ partner. 
Hang in there. These things do go in cycles, so while it may feel like a downward curve now, that won't last indefinitely. Recovery is always possible, so don't give up!
https://drcs.org.uk/
 

The way out is time; this too shall pass. I always liked Jung's saying that problems are rarely solved, they are simply outgrown. Also Freud's comment that the aim of psychoanalysis is to convert neurosis into ordinary human unhappiness. Learning to live with the latter is the stuff of life for most people at some point. 
When you're at the bottom, I've found the best help is simply the company of others who understand, and stand by you without judging. Quite often the pressure (from ourselves and others) to 'get better' is part of the problem. The best therapy is just 'being with', so you don't face that place alone. 

@AshfieldRamIll back up Lambchops comment about time and getting help from the proffesionals.
Accept that it will take as long as it takes, and people close to you will help see you through. The fog will rise. 
100% of people reading your post are right behind you. ?
 
 

The way out is time; this too shall pass. I always liked Jung's saying that problems are rarely solved, they are simply outgrown. Also Freud's comment that the aim of psychoanalysis is to convert neurosis into ordinary human unhappiness. Learning to live with the latter is the stuff of life for most people at some point. 
When you're at the bottom, I've found the best help is simply the company of others who understand, and stand by you without judging. Quite often the pressure (from ourselves and others) to 'get better' is part of the problem. The best therapy is just 'being with', so you don't face that place alone. 

I wouldn't set too much store by CBT tbh, but talking therapies are free through your GP, an initial block of 12 sessions with the possibility of referral for a further 12. Depending on where you are, there are also voluntary sector providers like DRCS, which are pretty good. 
Do you have a sense of what it is that is making you feel like you can't carry on? Trying to think it through honestly yourself can help, even better if you can share it with friends/ family/ partner. 
Hang in there. These things do go in cycles, so while it may feel like a downward curve now, that won't last indefinitely. Recovery is always possible, so don't give up!
https://drcs.org.uk/
 

The way out is time; this too shall pass. I always liked Jung's saying that problems are rarely solved, they are simply outgrown. Also Freud's comment that the aim of psychoanalysis is to convert neurosis into ordinary human unhappiness. Learning to live with the latter is the stuff of life for most people at some point. 
When you're at the bottom, I've found the best help is simply the company of others who understand, and stand by you without judging. Quite often the pressure (from ourselves and others) to 'get better' is part of the problem. The best therapy is just 'being with', so you don't face that place alone. 

I’m not entirely sure what it’s manifested itself in. I feel like I’m at the bottom of a pit with no escape and at that point that was the only way out.
I’m glad I didn’t do that though, obviously.
thank you for the help btw. I really do appreciate it. To both you and @i-Ram

I wouldn't set too much store by CBT tbh, but talking therapies are free through your GP, an initial block of 12 sessions with the possibility of referral for a further 12. Depending on where you are, there are also voluntary sector providers like DRCS, which are pretty good. 
Do you have a sense of what it is that is making you feel like you can't carry on? Trying to think it through honestly yourself can help, even better if you can share it with friends/ family/ partner. 
Hang in there. These things do go in cycles, so while it may feel like a downward curve now, that won't last indefinitely. Recovery is always possible, so don't give up!
https://drcs.org.uk/
 

I wouldn't set too much store by CBT tbh, but talking therapies are free through your GP, an initial block of 12 sessions with the possibility of referral for a further 12. Depending on where you are, there are also voluntary sector providers like DRCS, which are pretty good. 
Do you have a sense of what it is that is making you feel like you can't carry on? Trying to think it through honestly yourself can help, even better if you can share it with friends/ family/ partner. 
Hang in there. These things do go in cycles, so while it may feel like a downward curve now, that won't last indefinitely. Recovery is always possible, so don't give up!
https://drcs.org.uk/
 

Another uncomfortable read - l hope the break over Christmas helps you @AshfieldRam and that your Saturday appointment offers you some immediate relief.
Wishing everyone on here a merry Christmas, but particularly those who l often find in here.  Stay strong brothers, and Lambchop.

Hello all, 
It's hard to post this but this week has been possibly the worst my mental health has ever been. I recently posted in another thread about wanting to make 2019 positive but ever since Saturday i've gone downhill so so fast. 
I had a little worry, It started as a minor worry, then it developed inside me to a concern, the grew larger and larger into a huge obsession that i couldn't shift and consequently i found myself at the doors of depression. 
I started taking my Citalopram on Saturday but it hasn't yet kicked in. On Monday, i was in absolute hysteric floods of tears crying to my Mum and Dad and since then the floodgates have definitely opened. My mum gave me a Diazepam to help calm me down but this just made me dizzy and sick before eventually having a calming effect late on in evening.
Tuesday i went in to work as normal at about 2:30 my boss told me to get home and rest because i looked very ill. I went to play football in the evening as i always do on Tuesday but this proved extremely difficult. I thought the exercise and fresh air would do me wonders but inside all i was doing was fixating on my problems. Despite nearly passing out 3 times i managed to make it through. After another cry to my parents i managed 6 hours sleep.
Wednesday i was able to see the doctor. He gave me more tablets and some numbers for CBT therapy providers in the local area. I immediately rang them and was quite shocked just how long the process can take and one of them was charging quite a considerable amount.
Wednesday evening as i attempted to try to be active to my mind of things i panicked and fainted for a good few minutes. After coming round i was take to my bed where again, i found myself in floods of tears being consoled by Girlfriend, Mum and Dad.  
Yesterday morning i woke up very early again. 4:45 to be exact. I dragged my duvet down stairs hoping that a change of scenery may help. I went to take my tablet in the morning as i've started doing and then i got really really scared. I looked at these tablets and though 'Why don't i just take loads of them and then i won't have to feel like this anymore?' So i took one, then took a second one straight after. I started Vomiting almost immediately afterwards, panicking and deep breathing. Before i knew, i had fainted once again only to be found by my Mum. Once i had come round, my vomiting continued and my thoughts worsened about just taking more tablets to stop me feeling bad or anything all together. I was taken straight to the hospital and given a number of physical tests that all came back positive so i was allowed to come home. I hadn't at this point mentioned to the hospital or anyone that i was feeling suicidal.  As the afternoon progresses my mood swung again, up and down and up and down again. Eventually i was again hysterical and i decided that i had to tell my parents that i'd worried about ending things that morning if i could. I explained to them that i felt like a constant failure and that peoples life would be easier without me there. I don't think i've ever cried as much as i did yesterday. I had the same conversation with my girlfriend that evening and it absolutely destroyed me saying what i said but i was and still am scared that i will do something stupid. My dad rang one of the metal health helplines and i explained to them what was happening in my mind and they marked me as 'critical' meaning i needed immediate help. They eventually rang and they were absolutely no help what so ever. The earliest they could see me was Saturday afternoon and despite my girlfriend pleading with the man on the phone that i needed immediate help he just said 'Saturday afternoon' then shut down the conversation to hang up. I was left in the darkest hole i think i could possibly have been in and if it wasn't for the people around me i don't know what i would have done. 
I actually began to improve last night and decided that this morning i would come in to work and get myself some routine back. I have done and so far i'm just about on top of my emotions but even the littlest things feels like it could set me off. 
Christmas is my favourite time of the year and i can't even think about it. I just want to be better for it so the people who are around me can enjoy it too. 
I'm sorry for the essay but i thought writing it down might help and i'm hopeful that i can be on the mend soon and one day look back on it with the experience to help others
 

@Norman had 'tennis days'. 
Adjusts mental image. 
 

@Moist One Don't be alone over Christmas if you don't want to be. Pm me anytime if you fancy a pint. 
Ps Obviously, you'd have to be really desperate!

@Norman had 'tennis days'. 
Adjusts mental image. 
 

Working class kid that got into a grammar school. It happens.  To be fair, youre going to have to come up with something to change my mental image of you.
Mary from Gogglebox

It's the knee and the furniture more than anything.

@Norman had 'tennis days'. 
Adjusts mental image. 
 

@Moist One Don't be alone over Christmas if you don't want to be. Pm me anytime if you fancy a pint. 
Ps Obviously, you'd have to be really desperate!

@Moist One Don't be alone over Christmas if you don't want to be. Pm me anytime if you fancy a pint. 
Ps Obviously, you'd have to be really desperate!

@Moist One Don't be alone over Christmas if you don't want to be. Pm me anytime if you fancy a pint. 
Ps Obviously, you'd have to be really desperate!

@Moist One Don't be alone over Christmas if you don't want to be. Pm me anytime if you fancy a pint. 
Ps Obviously, you'd have to be really desperate!

@Moist One Don't be alone over Christmas if you don't want to be. Pm me anytime if you fancy a pint. 
Ps Obviously, you'd have to be really desperate!

@Moist One Don't be alone over Christmas if you don't want to be. Pm me anytime if you fancy a pint. 
Ps Obviously, you'd have to be really desperate!

@Moist One Don't be alone over Christmas if you don't want to be. Pm me anytime if you fancy a pint. 
Ps Obviously, you'd have to be really desperate!

Tough to know what to say to that - but if you've been open and honest and laid this out to friends, and they aren't helping you, then they are the wrong sort of friends
That's not slag them off, but you talk about circles of friends and I find that i have different types of friends. The ones you'd trust with your life, the ones that are great to go out drinking with, the ones you used to work with and are nice enough but you don't have a lot in common with, etc etc. Like you say, I'm sure they all have a ton of their own poo to worry about, and if that means they don't have time to be there for you, then you need to look elsewhere for help. Trying to force them to care and then feeling let down when they don't is a horrible place to be so you shouldn't feel bad about taking positive action to leave them alone. 
I guess you need to know that there is another circle of friends on here who don't know you at all in the real sense of the word, but are always here to listen and not make you feel alone.  You did the right thing posting. If it ever gets this bad - always share your thoughts here and one (or more) of us bell-ends will try and help in whatever small way we can
 

I started this thread 3 years ago cos I realised I was in a very low place, but wasn't sure how low I was, and how much lower I could manage. Sadly, I'm back in a similar place and have been for a month or so, except I'm struggling to find any comfort in self-awareness or knowledge that others are suffering similar.
I've tried to avoid burdening anyone with my feelings over the last month, but am hoping writing it down on here might help, so apologies in advance. I'm in a situation where I am having a daily battle with myself. These battles used to be annual, then monthly, then fortnightly, then non-existent, and they're basically a "what's the point?", and being candid, they've been a give yourself a reason to live internal conversation. The bit I'm realising is that many of my reasons are based on fantasy, ******** and delusion at the moment. Silly things like "you might fall in love and live happily ever after!"!!
What's been quite saddening, but I accept, is that friends I used to rely on can no longer be relied on for anything. Simply as they have other issues to deal with, Mortgages, Weddings, Babies, Family Illnesses, Work issues etc, so I cannot expect them to drop anything just to pander to my neediness.
I drew parallels to Ronnie's post recently, scarily so. In recent months, my only positive has been work, and knowing that I'm doing a banging quality job, or so I thought. I had the wind knocked out of my sales recently, having discovered my manager isn't actually aware of what I am doing and would quite happily see me down the road. Things came to a head, and I won a little battle (that I didn't want) to save my job. But not without a few weeks of feeling very isolated, lonely and victimised.
Over the last few years, those I consider friends have declined almost all invitations to visit or spend time with me, always with reasons I might add, but nevertheless, I've eventually began to take it personally, even if not intentional rejection. Every attempt to get together as a group is just a stressful waste of time, and the reasons they've given to not be able to attend have been quite surprising, and I've taken that as me being way down on the list of priorities.
I went off the radar a few weeks ago. Literally made myself uncontactable. Deleted Whatsapp, Snapchat etc, didn't tweet, didn't post here or anywhere else, and just worked, and went home. I cannot explain why I did this, but eventually people guilted me into getting involved in things. I wrote a lengthy explanation to 20 mates making them aware of what I was going through, and on the whole they responded supportively. I spent a few weeks trying to force myself to be more positive, but the fact that these supportive friends have just carried on being somewhat neglective and ignorant, knowing what I was feeling, has left me feeling doubly negative.
Christmas is never a great time for me, I have always felt lonely and isolated, but that doesn't usually hit me this hard. I've never felt so isolated and emotional, and pointless and worthless and demotivated for life as I do right now. I'm at the stage where the only reason I haven't ended my life is cos it would kill my grandma. She is ill as it is. I've even nearly thought it wouldn't matter as she is ill anyway, so my going wouldn't really matter.
I've recently had a mini-meltdown and told a circle of friends that I'm sick of begging for attention so I will leave them alone, and they should leave me alone. I thought that would be hurtful and I'd be sad, but I'm not. It just gives me the freedom to do what I want without any guilt. Another circle of friends are making me feel like doing similar with them, and if that happens, I will be totally isolated and friendless and the sad thing is that I think I want this.