GboroRam

I do feel bad for their fans though. Especially the ones who tried to start a fight with me and my 70 year old dad at Derby station, while we were minding our own business eating our chips.
Wait. No I don't.

Was pretty hacked off with the way he conducted himself under Cocu, but he did redeem himself with me after that being an absolute rock for the club through some very dark times. As such, I bear the man no ill will really, far from it. That said, watching Brum implode has been hilarious, which on reflection, only serves to make me appreciate Wazza even more.
On a serious note, management clearly does not suit him in any shape or fashion, he looks terrible and is aging rapidly. High time he stepped back, minded himself a bit and spent some time with the family, I reckon.

Keys to the city is back on. Great job well done Wayne. 

Is this the finish to his career in football? I reckon he will only be able to find work in the USA after this. 
Oh dear. How sad. 

There's a lot of truth in this. It may be that everything is going fine and there's no issues, but maybe you will hit problems. Maybe the local authority will respond to your needs, maybe you'll feel unsupported. 
If you feel like the children aren't getting the support they deserve, look into requesting an advocate for them. Someone independent who will only focus on their best interests. If the advocate is on your side, the local authority will be hard pressed to ignore them. 

@David Not much I can add in here by way of advice more than already has been given, but talking as a Dad first and a Lawyer second, stick with it. 
 
The process in this country is difficult and at times (being generous there) you will think the local authorities and the Court’s processes will seem outdated and excessive. Best advice I can give as a layperson is speak up if something doesn’t seem right or you have questions. You will find they are all helpful and have plenty of support resources but they very often will not utilise these unless prompted. 
 
It’s a strange concept, having the same care and emotion for a child when they are not your own but it’s obvious from where you are with it there is never a reason to doubt yourself. A child remembers a single kindness shown to them and can shape their future far beyond what any person would expect.

Hi David, sorry I'm late to the party with this one.
When we took our three Grandkids on in early 2022 our social worker was very much pushing us in the direction of fostering them. Due to our personal circumstances at the time (my cancer treatment including major surgery) this was impossible. 
If my memory serves me correct we had to write a letter to the local authority declining fostering. The social worker told us there was another way whereby the kids could remain with us. We had to attend court and an interim Child Arrangement Order was granted, allowing us time to apply for a Special Gardianship Order, which we were granted by the court in February 2023.
My wife gave up her full-time employment in May as, in our mid-fifties, looking after the kids and the household (and occasionally me) while working full-time was too much for her. 
We receive a weekly means-tested special gardianship allowance from the local authority, together with a monthly Universal Credit payment (in addition to my salary).
I doff my cap to anyone fostering or otherwise caring for others' children, it's not always beer and skittles, but it is highly rewarding.

It does in Notts who I used to work for. I was in a specialist salaried section, so didn't go into it in too much detail.  
Another area of society where people are undervalued and underpaid.  

We get £156 per child each 

Couldn’t imagine it. You go into it knowing they are not yours, yet you treat them like your own as that’s the least they deserve, 2 months in they already feel like ours with the bond we’ve made with them.
To hear the eldest say he doesn’t want me to go to work, recognising where I work, where they live, calling it home, my Jax is no their Jax.
And to think this could be either till they are 18 or temporary, it’s just something I’m trying not to think a great deal about and will face that day whatever comes our way.
To take a baby on, see them grow to taking their first steps then leave. Brutal. Feel for you guys.

I'm not sure about taking on an additional child, unless they are siblings of course.
All children come to you with trauma, subconscious trauma for younger ones. It's very easy for one child to take on the trauma of another..
Not aimed at you @GboroRamI always get cross when I see a foster carer celebrated for having 400 foster children, as if that's a great thing. I understand that some temporary care is essential, but celebrating the quantity of children coming in and out of a home is perverse to me. It should be the quality of care, the scale of the impact on people's lives. 

The 'I'm going to be a new Dad' thread is much easier to contribute to. For most people there are universal feelings/emotions.  
Fostering brings with it a lot of different emotions and situations that people will deal with very differently. There is a lack of 'absoluteness' and certainty that is harder to deal with.

My son is now 40 and living in NZ with  a lovely family and he came 'home' this year to see his dear old mum and Dad.
 
I say this not to gloat but to show that there are incredible outcomes from Fostering and Adoption, as I married his Mum when he was 3 and I had to go through some gruelling stuff before I was allowed to adopt him, despite the fact that we had been together 2 years by then.
Curiously my wife also had to adopt him as well (go figure)
Despite all the issues of an abusive father etc he has grown into a fine family man and I am so proud of him. 
I am and always will be his Dad,
Keep going Dave and well done for giving these kids a chance 

@GboroRam to be honest, loving and treating a little baby as your own for an amount of time is one of the biggest pleasures. That little boy will always be with me, same as the little one with us now.
@David you’re already doing enough, based on the way you’ve communicated. Taking those 2 on and treating them as a father figure is so essential. Not everyone can do that. Well done for all you and your partner have done and will continue to do. There may well be grief at the end of the placement, whenever that is and however it happens. Do I regret doing it though? Not one bit

We fostered two sisters. Oldest came to us aged about 6 months, and her sister was born a little after 6 months later. She came to us aged about 7 hours. 
Seeing them leave to their adoptive family broke my wife, and it was emotionally bad for me too. 
Babies are great, but I won't do it again. It was so painful. Those who can do it are a special breed, and I give you my full respect. 

We fostered two sisters. Oldest came to us aged about 6 months, and her sister was born a little after 6 months later. She came to us aged about 7 hours. 
Seeing them leave to their adoptive family broke my wife, and it was emotionally bad for me too. 
Babies are great, but I won't do it again. It was so painful. Those who can do it are a special breed, and I give you my full respect. 

We fostered two sisters. Oldest came to us aged about 6 months, and her sister was born a little after 6 months later. She came to us aged about 7 hours. 
Seeing them leave to their adoptive family broke my wife, and it was emotionally bad for me too. 
Babies are great, but I won't do it again. It was so painful. Those who can do it are a special breed, and I give you my full respect. 

@David such a fascinating read. Thanks for sharing your thoughts (especially the frustrations)
My wife and I (and our 2 birth children) have fostered since the first lockdown. Some highs and some lows.
One from birth to 18 months. He was amazing, but then he was ours for a year and a half. The ending was best for him, as he’s now in his ‘forever home’. However, if I’m being honest, it was also one of the hardest situations I’ve been in. The grief is real. I grieved the son I had lost, even though he wasn’t technically mine. It’s lovely seeing pics of him now, happy and healthy.
We have another baby now. They’re doing equally well, but I can already feel myself attaching. It’s so tough, as you treat them like they’re yours. The meetings, forms and logs are all done by my wife (she’s the main carer, I’m a teacher) contact 3 times a week too! Right ball ache some weeks, especially the travel.
It’s tough, fostering. Some very stressful times. As @sage says, the adults are the trickiest part. But my heart has got a couple more names in it. I am father to 2 children, but really it’s more than that.

The start is worse than the ongoing, to be fair. 
Form F takes quite a bit out of you, it's very personal and digs deep into your private life. Some of the personal stuff you've shared here with us will be explored in depth. 
The initial training is quite a lot squeezed into a short space of time. 
But, once the form F is done, you don't need to return to it. The training becomes a refresher course every three years. The contact invariably drops, as parents become unreliable, or face up to the reality of their situation. 
It gets better. If possible, consider making space for another bedroom, convert any big enough room and take an extra child. The income will help. Use any available ways to claim extra money - DLA if the child has any disabilities. Claim your mileage back. Speak to your SSW, ours will pay you back for one activity per week as long as you pay for one. Our boys do football and tae kwon do. You could do swimming, dance classes, rugby, Scouts - it gives them routines burns energy, and gives you a topic to write about in the interminable reports we're expected to write. 
Other than that, just keep going. Watch yourself and cover your back. The worst thing you can have happen is an allegation. You won't be told any details, and you can be put through hell. 
It's brutal at times. Would I recommend it? Honestly, no, not at the minute. But I'm not in a great place myself, but I'll keep going and things will pick up. 
I think you're in the toughest position right now, and in a few months you'll find it a lot easier. 

Ok. If you are only doing 16 hours it's OK.
The contact with family who fooked up the situation in the first place is a nightmare. Try to fight to reduce the amount of contact by offering proof of the impact it has.
Twice a week is too often to allow the kids to process then get back into routines of your house. It will be a long battle, but it will be needed in the long term.
Just keep battling for what is right for the kids 
 

Just like teaching, in fostering it's the adults that drive you mad, not the kids.
It will be impossible to do if both of you are working full time.
Money can be a dirty word, social services think you vulgar at times, but they aren't volunteers. Make sure you are paid and receive everything due to you.
This isn't the most important thing for the kids, but I can assure you, fostering will prevent you earning what you earned before. 

I mentioned a few weeks ago in another topic that we are currently looking after 2 young boys (2 and 3), they moved in with us back in October and currently under assessment for temporary kinship foster parent status.
It's tough. Knowing we have at least 2 foster parents on here, just wanted to unload really.
We stepped in, trying to help out in short notice, I think it was 3 weeks from hearing they need our help to moving in and they have been fantastic. Settled in so well, this side has been an amazing experience.
The other side, not so. 
Meetings in person, remotely, check ups, health visitors, assessments, training courses then on top of that being available for contact with their mum and her mum (their gran) wanting her slice of our time
Where is the time left to, you know, do fun things with the boys like they should be doing? With both of me and Leanne working, just not finding the hours in the day. We're about to go through Family Conference which is an agreement for scheduled contact visits. The boys mum is wanting twice a week!
It's honestly overwhelming and I can understand why there is a shortage of foster parents available in our local area at least. Even the paperwork with weekly diary, accident forms, medication forms. 
Yesterday I was emailed another batch of assessment meetings. 
With those they want to dig into my finances, family tree, personality, education, leisure activities, even interview our ex partners and send us for a medicals.
Pretty much every Tuesday into the new year for 2 months will be taken up by this one particular department.
As I say, then you have social services, health services, an independent reviewer all wanting to take any other free hours you get until we get to the final boss which is the fostering panel that has to approve us.
Doesn't stop then either as this is only temporary whilst social services consider court orders and possible SGO orders.
Don't get me wrong, I get they have to be careful, most kids entering the fostering system have not found themselves there without going through tough times. They need to check that they are placed in a suitable home. Just feels like the whole process could be streamlined with less people ticking the same boxes.
Take DBS checks for example, we had to have them before placement through social services, now Fostering team want to do them again, surely they are there on file that can be shared?
Not much point to this post really than to say life is hard right now, currently writing this whilst in a Microsoft Teams waiting room for this weeks remote meeting. I respect you all that have been through this process.

Someone said earlier in the thread about Hamas celebrating and cheering the killing of Jews on October 7th. This is true. There was also lots of confusion and arguing between militants that has lead to speculation that Hamas didn't know about the festival in advance and that the leadership lost control of rampaging militants. 
Now we over the last few days we've seen IDF soldiers behave in a similar way. They also video their own war crimes. After someone in this thread said Hamas aren't that smart I hope we can extend this to the IDF too. Their propaganda has been awful. Someone in the thread mentioned crisis actors, another comment that hasn't aged well thanks to the terrible Israeli propaganda. 
The highlight of the week goes to the Israeli Ambassador to the UK finally telling the truth of the terrorist Likud party in English on an English Channel. So everyone who's had their fingers in their ears when Smotrich has threatened the Kingdom Of Jordan and given Palestinians 3 interesting choices, well, now you don't even need Google translate. 
I've noticed a lot less disguised Islamophobia on TV as desperate pro Israelis try to make a case. 
Now the video above shows that even the ever biased CNN can't deny these crimes against humanity. 
In this thread it's been implied that support for Palestine is a disguise for Antisemitism. People have backed Israeli lies as if the truth wasn't bad enough. People have been outraged that words like genocide and murder are attributed to Netenyahu and Co. People have said that calling out the likes of Stamer, Sunak and Braverman is adding fuel to the fire. All said by people that have barely (or not at all) acknowledged Palestinian suffering. Or given it brief "it's unfortunate" before complaining about antagonistic comments on a war that's seen tonnes of explosives randomly dropped on Gaza.  
The video above is from this war. But it might give some perspective on why members of Hamas did what they did. Why they'll do it again. It doesn't condone it. But this war is supported by the majority in Israel. And what's the death count in West Bank? The video above is also pretty tame in comparison to the Al Jazeera stuff. 
Supporting Israel in this action is being on the wrong side of history. State Terrorism. Ethnic cleansing. But don't dare accuse them of the G word. That's offensive.

All the songs with paedo undertones. 
She was just seventeen, if you know what I mean. 
Young girl get out of my mind, my love for you is way out of line. 
Wake up Maggie, I think I've got something to say to you. It's late December and I really should be back at school. 
And more. 

Or like the pub sign says, liquor in the front, poker in the rear.