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England cricket tour of New Zealand 2013


Curtains

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How to kill test cricket -

 

Prepare flat unresponsive pitches to ensure big scores and no results.

 

Define a 'good pitch' as one where loads of runs are scored.

 

Fill commentary and press boxes with ex-batsmen who cream themselves over such pitches.

 

I hope you're not having a go at shy, modest, retiring Geoffrey. A model of reticence.

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I hope you're not having a go at shy, modest, retiring Geoffrey. A model of reticence.

To be fair, Geoffrey berated the pitch as a waste of time and attacked NZ's lack of ambition in going for a third draw.

Our players have to get their chins off the floor and try some creative thinking. We took wickets in India yet seem to get narked when New Zealand don't throw their wickets away.

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