Boycie Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 I once had a lad working for me who couldn't come in for work because, "the immersion heater has leaked and wet my trainers" What's you favorite, or best heard whopper? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alph Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 My gaffer rang me up one morning at about 6 to say "Not working today mate, left me boots outside in the rain". So can feel your pain Boycie! I was 14 playing football on a Sunday morning once. Knew i shouldn't of gone. Had diarrhea. Got about 20 mins into first half, was honestly playing the best game i've ever played against our division title rivals and i felt my stomach start moving. Got real bad. So i waited for a decent 50/50, flew into it and pretended to get injured. When my manager asked if i could carry on because i'm playing well I said "I think i've done something to my toe. My toe nail has been torn." With that i came off and lets just say i made my way to to changing rooms on Alvaston Park to deal with my injury. Needed some plasters you see? Next match i was left out. It was 0-0 when i went off. Finished 3-0 to us and the player who replaced me scored and set up another. Next game we beat Ilkeston 8-3 and he scored again and set up a couple. Got left out for a few more games. All sounds a bit Robbie Savage...... but it was the worse Sunday morning in my life. :frown: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorksopRam Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 On the theme of trainers, funnily enough... This weird girl in my tutor a few years ago didn't turn up to school for a couple of weeks. When questioned about it, she said that she couldn't come because her trainers were stuck in the washing machine, so she couldn't leave the house. :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rynny Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 Had a guy ring in sick saying he had downs syndrome,:eek: the manager who took the call thought that, turned out to be irritable bowl syndrome!! Still a rubbish excuse! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted February 20, 2011 Author Share Posted February 20, 2011 You don't get Downs over night you fool! unless it was a poor attempt at a joke. If it was, that's my job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uttoxram75 Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 One girl rang in with "i've had a tongue stud fitted and its gone septic". at one level its ok I suppose, stuff like that happens...the problem is, its a food manufacturing site - you're not allowed to have a tongue stud in the factory anyway..:confused: written warning and an absence stage on return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rynny Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 You don't get Downs over night you fool! unless it was a poor attempt at a joke. If it was, that's my job. The manager who took the call thought he said downs but it turned out to be irritable bowl syndrome. I know that you can't get it over night, it was the manager who took the call that didn't until I explained to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
froggg Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 Imagine when I walked into maths very late @ noel baker and I explained that I was late because my bullfinch had escaped from its cage when I was cleaning it, Mr Borg told me it was the best excuse he'd ever heard, sadly it was true......:eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardifframs Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 Your honour,I was stood on the fence,having a piss,and the horse backed into me,honest! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rynny Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 Imagine when I walked into maths very late @ noel baker and I explained that I was late because my bullfinch had escaped from its cage when I was cleaning it, Mr Borg told me it was the best excuse he'd ever heard, sadly it was true......:eek: Froggg you just went down in my estimates, Noel Baker? Pfft.... Merrill all the way:p so good they knocked it down!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
froggg Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 yeah rynny but it was still a top school when I went back in the seventies:D our fights were always with the catholic:eek: school just up the road...can't remember what it was called.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archram Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 I once had ' Don't know what time I'll be in, but my friend's ill and I've got to catch her horse' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
froggg Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Quality..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Srg Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Had a mate who for about 6 weeks in a row couldn't come out on a Friday night because of 'a family do'. His family wasn't that large surely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcfcdavecov Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Sure he doesn't just not like you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derbydan Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Imagine when I walked into maths very late @ noel baker and I explained that I was late because my bullfinch had escaped from its cage when I was cleaning it, Mr Borg told me it was the best excuse he'd ever heard, sadly it was true......:eek: haha did he not have you up by the side burns? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Srg Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Sure he doesn't just not like you? distinct possibility... truth be told, think he was putting a hoe before his bros. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
froggg Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 haha did he not have you up by the side burns? Those were the days when you were caned belted clipped round the ear, and even had to dodge blackboard erasers....:eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rynny Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 yeah rynny but it was still a top school when I went back in the seventies:D our fights were always with the catholic:eek: school just up the road...can't remember what it was called.... St. Thomas was it? Well that is what Merrill lower was called before it changed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
froggg Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 St. Thomas was it? Well that is what Merrill lower was called before it changed. what road was it on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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