In June 2009 Michael Owen's agents sent out a 32 page brochure on why he should get signed

[GeneralRam]

I always enjoy to laugh at Michael Owen. The ******* wet lettuce boring ****.

So while reading this and having a good laugh at this I come across something related to Derby. 

Sam Rush made this  Thank you Sam.

 

[Van der MoodHoover]

That is hilarious. 

Brand values. 

Icons and opportunities. 

For the first 15 pages I couldn't work out whether they were trying to sell a big house or a luxury car.

[Day]

Michael Owen one of my all time favourite players, shame about his hamstrings.

[Anon]

I like page 12 the most. Michael's "brand values";

Clean & Fresh = Showers at least once per day and only ever wears a pair of pants once, burning after use.

First Class =

Good Looking, Stylish, and Cool = Looks like Sam forgot to add Humble to the list.

[RamNut]

....but it got him a move to Man Utd.

[jagerbob]

Was always injured, and rarely performed for Newcastle but as soon as the internationals came around was a spring chicken and usually scored and put a shift in.

This is the very reason even Geordies when he as at their club referred to him as "Englands michael owen"

[jagerbob]

Brand Values ..... "charasmatic" hahahahahahahaha

[CumbrianRam]

Got a three year deal from Man Utd out of it so worked out for him.

[TigerTedd]

22 minutes ago, CumbrianRam said:

Got a three year deal from Man Utd out of it so worked out for him.

Which is why Sam Rush is far cleverer than most. We might ridicule this document, but it did the job it was intended for.

[Day]

Sam might not have been involved with this, his name is there as a contact not the author of the brochure 

[Alph]

Page 12 could put off Michael Owen's Mum

[Leicester Ram]

Shame, he was my football hero growing up and now he holds the title of most boring human being on tv today.

[SaintRam]

I loved Michael Owen as a kid, and tbh while he might be boring I've not really noticed cos a fair old proportion of people on TV are ******* boring. I zone most of them out. 

[GeneralRam]