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Summer Headlines?

ronnieronalde

By ronnieronalde
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ronnieronalde

ronnieronalde

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Derby County Boss Steve McClaren is all scrambled up ;-)

Option one, If he's staying having guided the team onto Wembley and Up into the Premier League..How about....

Headline 1:  Clever Mac Nets...... himself a bumper pay rise and a 5 year extension after guiding Derby to an impressive and fully deserved play off victory

or how about this, option 2, we get to Wembley but lose horribly and unluckily to a last minute winner before Steve announces admirably and full of passion to the waiting press that he's proud of the squad, they have incredible togetherness and a real quality way of playing and he want's them all to stick together and give it another crack (before strangely going on to search all summer and season long for loans cos he doesn't trust the first 11 anymore even if those signings are no better than what was already here).

Then in a shocking twist of events he considers leaving himself anyway.....

But showing incredible multi tasking ability by doing 3 things at once, 4 if you include having a cup of coffee and cleaning his teeth with his tongue while he's talking.

Headline Number Two: Mac Reveals Ten are on his shopping list for  Newcastle owner Mike Ashley but simultaneously winks at Bryson and Bucko, tells them they're his boys and tells him to get stuck in and play their hearts out next year while he's on the phone to his mate Zizi over at Real Madrid C to see if he can get an 18 year old in to replace the leagues top scoring midfielder cos he doesn't like lads who haven't got a daft name or a decent suntan, preferably both.

Or this,  option 3, after getting knocked out in the semis, the stress of the situation and the pressure of over expectant fans really takes it's toll on Steve who hasn't always seemed the most secure under pressure, he's lost his last little tuft of fringe and a bit too much weight from the stressh so he decide to get a bit of privacy and  gets himself away from it all for it to Breadsall Priory and one those luxury relaxing 3 day heath spa break and golf packages.

He's just come out of the Sauna in nowt but his undies and he's admiring himself in the gyms mirror, doing arm curls and flexing his guns. Pleased with his afternoons graft, he decides to relax on a sun lounger next to the pool while eating a Bratwurst in one of those long buns and before he knew what was going on he'd spilled some ketchup mixed with mayonnaise spills down the front of the old woman who was in the lounger next to his  cos he'd stopped concentrating while he we admiring his new fit body in the gyms mirror.  He's apologising to the old women and athletically straddles the lounger desperately trying to get it off with a bit of spit and some elbow grease when suddenly from behind the curtains there's flashing cameras everywhere.

Instead of the Wally with the Brolly, they now call him 

3) The Dirty Vest Cleaner Mc'

Or this for a real turn up for the books, he gets himself off for a well deserved break after the rigours of a tough but ultimately successful and rewarding campaign. Deciding on a change of scenery from his usual crazy Ibiza island hops and his weekend jaunts to the Cookie Cafes of Amsterdam he decides to go to Kuwait for a couple of weeks to have a chat with his old mate Nabil Maaloul, apparently Chris Evans or his lad Joe. probably both, maybe even all 3 of them cos Sam Rush was there as well, anyway someone has spotted the next best thing playing for Al Qadisiya reserves and he reckons he's a shoe in 100% better than Will Hughes. So Steve decides to make it a working holiday type thing.

While he's there he gets a call from Fawaz Al inviting him down to his palace for a couple of days to talk about the good old days when Forest were decent, you know, after Mac finally left. Oh how they laughed.

Anyway, as he's leaving Fawaz gives him a camel and gets quite insistent that it would be rude for Steve to refuse such a gift. Reluctantly and knowing that he's got nowhere  to put the camel Steve accepts, hops on and giddyups off into the Sunset, suprisingly he takes to camel riding like a duck to water. When he gets back into town he somehow manages to sneak it past Hotel reception and into his suite. At first it was a bit awkward what with the language gap, but after a while romantic and atmospheric nights turn into fun filled days and days turn into weeks before Steve realises he's late back for pre-season. He lost track of time and he's got to admit that he's become quite attached to Claudine, for he thought she looked like a Claudine type of camel. 

It caused a real stir over at the Derby Evening Telegraph when Steve announced he'd reluctantly have to leave Derby County and move back to Kuwait to work as a Tour Guide. Steve Nicholson's mind went into overdrive at the thought that Steve was leaving cos there were 4) No Camel Vets Near to Derby, apparently there is one in Wolverhampton but Claudine doesn't like to travel long distances and the free IPro drink that Sam Rush had got her a lifetimes supply of is nowhere near as refreshing as the Gatorade she gets for free back home.

 

 

 

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ronnieronalde

ronnieronalde

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ffs reveldevil, it's that kind of garbage that does my head in...people see me posting and straight away launch in two footed assuming it must have something to do with Nigel. WTF indeed.

I was just having a bit of fun wasting some of own time coming up with some fairly harmless anagrams of our managers name. Then once i'd come up with the anagrams work out some kind of ******** to go along with it...

Was it really worth the narky comment back?

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uttoxram75

uttoxram75

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You're trying too hard Ronnie.

Managers come and go and while many of us think Nigel did a good job over all, he's gone, its done and dusted.

We can only judge Steve on his record and he took us to within a gnat's firkin of promotion last time and may well exceed that yet!

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ronnieronalde

ronnieronalde

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FFS, Utch if even you're missing it and thinking there's something else to it then I might as well call it a day.

People keep telling me I bring Nige into my posts, I'm telling you, it's like I've moved into a weird parallel universe of weirdness.

I've let it go, he's gone, I've moved on he's gone.

Is it me who keeps talking about how he's doing at Sheffield United? Do I ever mention them or him unless it's in response to some numpty having an unwarranted pop?

Did any of you even bother to read it? In two of those posts he gets Derby promoted and in another gets to Wembley, which unless you're a buffoon, you'd have to accept is a great achievement two seasons running.

I like writing, I enjoy writing, I was doodling and something came into my head.

The keyboard warriors didn't stop to think I might just be doodling? No of course not.

I'm such a **** though. I know, it's me. it always was.

And by the way, he who I don't mention has the joint 3rd best budget in the division, behind Bristol and Orient and level with Preston. If you're going to have a pop @reveldevil at least get it right.

 

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uttoxram75

uttoxram75

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FFS, Utch if even you're missing it and thinking there's something else to it then I might as well call it a day.

People keep telling me I bring Nige into my posts, I'm telling you, it's like I've moved into a weird parallel universe of weirdness.

I've let it go, he's gone, I've moved on he's gone.

Is it me who keeps talking about how he's doing at Sheffield United? Do I ever mention them or him unless it's in response to some numpty having an unwarranted pop?

Did any of you even bother to read it? In two of those posts he gets Derby promoted and in another gets to Wembley, which unless you're a buffoon, you'd have to accept is a great achievement two seasons running.

I like writing, I enjoy writing, I was doodling and something came into my head.

The keyboard warriors didn't stop to think I might just be doodling? No of course not.

I'm such a **** though. I know, it's me. it always was.

And by the way, he who I don't mention has the joint 3rd best budget in the division, behind Bristol and Orient and level with Preston. If you're going to have a pop @reveldevil at least get it right.

 

​I got the anagrams Ronnie, just thought it came over slightly bitter.

Thats why i said, "you're trying too hard" !

Keep doodling mate, i for one enjoy your ramblings and tend to agree with you more often than not.

I admit to buffoonery.

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Rev

Rev

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ffs reveldevil, it's that kind of garbage that does my head in...people see me posting and straight away launch in two footed assuming it must have something to do with Nigel. WTF indeed.

I was just having a bit of fun wasting some of own time coming up with some fairly harmless anagrams of our managers name. Then once i'd come up with the anagrams work out some kind of ******** to go along with it...

Was it really worth the narky comment back?

Apologies @ronnieronalde, I did indeed miss the point of your clever, but weird op. 

I blame the Leffe Brune for my diminished mental capacity, not that I'm starting from a high base to begin with!

Didn't mean to come across as a keyboard warrior, don't think I went in two footed tbh, maybe slightly late and you've made the most of the contact? 

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ronnieronalde

ronnieronalde

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Apologies @ronnieronalde, I did indeed miss the point of your clever, but weird op. 

I blame the Leffe Brune for my diminished mental capacity, not that I'm starting from a high base to begin with!

Didn't mean to come across as a keyboard warrior, don't think I went in two footed tbh, maybe slightly late and you've made the most of the contact? 

​No worries @Reveldevil and a very nice and funny analogy to come back and totally defuse the situation from you.

I liked that a lot :-)

I've realiseda bit too late that I'm rolling about on the floor like a nancy boy foreign primadonna and I'm disgusted at myself.

I've not once denied I'm a bit weird by the way, some would say I'm a very special boy :-)

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Alan Ramage 4 EVA

Alan Ramage 4 EVA

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ffs reveldevil, it's that kind of garbage that does my head in...people see me posting and straight away launch in two footed assuming it must have something to do with Nigel. WTF indeed.

I was just having a bit of fun wasting some of own time coming up with some fairly harmless anagrams of our managers name. Then once i'd come up with the anagrams work out some kind of ******** to go along with it...

Was it really worth the narky comment back?

​don`t know what you do for a living ronnie but you ought to take up writing novels

Brill 

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