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A degree in common sense


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So the missus works at Severn Trent and this morning a good old boy was on his way through the entrance when he fell over. The chap has like one leg I think and isn't getting any younger.

So a few of the nearest girls pick him up and settle him down with a drink as the poor bugger is a bit embarrassed.

Now here's the fookin punchline. Apparently the girls should have left him to find someone with experience in manual lifting!! Left an embarrassed man lying in the entrance to go find someone who has experience in picking things up!! The management are not impressed.

How stupid are people in this country? Honestly who hasn't got a proper job to do and sits there coming up with this ****? Anyone reading this who actually has free time on their hands to talk such utter ****** (assuming you're not trapped in Sainsburys by your shopping bags) then I'd just like to let you know that you are entirely stupid in the head. A proper tw@t. An A list moron.

Am I alone in finding this sort of thing infuriating?

What happened to common sense? Why don't they teach it in schools? Because barely anyone has it.

There's loads of stuff like this.

Another is pubs refusing to warm babies food up incase the child is burned. Are you kidding? If you're that fookin dumb to stuff a spoon of unchecked food into your kids mouth then you want the kid taken off you because a bath is going to be fatal. Just warm the food up!

You can't do that sir, you can't do this sir. Do you have experience in manual lifting?

WTF? C'mon, is it just me?

Too many people sat around desks with nothing to do but come up with this sort of ******. Then even bigger drongos follow it.

Manual lifting experience. Jesus Christ. Just leave the poor fecker on the floor. Put a sign up so people don't trip over him. Maybe stick a vis jacket and some flashing lights on him.

Honestly, people are stupid. If common sense was an essential qualification then a lot more jobs would be available.

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Just want to add, my missus has loads of stories about that dump. Seriously, I'm suprised half of them make it downstairs in the morning. Some of the genius management ideas come from people who clearly have too few REAL problems.

'I have a degree in business studies'

Yes, but you are stupid. Promise.

Don't bother ringing up with any long term problems this week either. They have some sort of national rating thing going on and are only dealing with new queries to get happy customer reviews. So if you're currently living under water, good luck.

Basically the more money you get paid there, the more bored and stupid you are.

Do I need a manual typing licence for this forum?

Rant over. Possibly. For now.


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As someone who holds an NVQ in 'Hard Hat and Clpiboard management' I should like to point out that Health and Safety is a very serious issue and not a subject to be ignored or taken lightly.

To that end, read the following cautionary tale and be warned.....



'Elf 'n' Safety


There's a famous old factory in Spondon,
That's noted for making fag ends.
And a bloke called Owd Albert worked there,
Respected and liked by 'is friends.

'Is job were to drive the big forklift,
It were painted bright yellow and black.
An' it weighed twenty tonne fully laden
And 'ad two big gas bottles on t' back.

Now Albert knew all about fork trucks,
'E'd been drivin' 'em thirty odd year,
And 'e knew if he didn't drive careful,
That someone would end up in tears!

'Cos forklifts, unlike other motors,
Travel backwards when hauling a load.
And t'driver looks over 'is shoulder,
When travellin' up 'n' dahn road.

So Albert, would look... an' 'e'd listen...
As 'e drove round the factory wi' care.
And sometimes he'd give a short toot on 'is 'orn,
Just t' let folk know 'e were there.

Well, one day 'e received a directive,
From the 'Ealth and the Safety brigade,
Saying as 'ow 'e were doin' things wrong, like...
And changes would 'ave to be made.

"You'll need a 'ard 'at, wi' a peak on.
In case summat should fall on yer 'ead.
Plus earplugs and goggles and a bright yellow jacket
So no-one gets injured." it said.

"And we notice you're built on a flood plain,
So one day you may find that your fork'll
Get stuck in the water... so we think you oughter
Wear flippers, a mask and a snorkel!"

So, suitably dressed to do battle,
Owd Albert climbed up on 'is truck.
And in case of a sudden tsunami'
Wore a rubber ring, shaped like a duck.

Now the first day of these radical changes,
The man from the Safety Brigade,
Decided to pay them a visit,
To check all the changes were made.

'E wore earplugs and goggles and a big yellow 'elmet,
With a bright, flashing light on the top.
And the words on the back of 'is 'igh vis' jacket
Read, 'Handle with Care... This Way Up.'

'E walked up an' dahn wi' 'is clipboard,
Checkin' ev'rything on the shop floor,
Then 'e paused for a moment to write on 'is pad,
In front of a big, yellow door.

It were just at this moment that Albert appeared,
Tryin' 'ard not to have a collision.
But 'is 'at and 'is goggles and 'is earplugs,
Made him deaf and restricted 'is vision.

The safety inspector were in the same boat,
'E'd no idea Albert were comin',
'Til the very last second... he looked up an' he screamed,
'E knew it were too late to be runnin'.

With unerring skill, Albert swung the truck round,
To deposit 'is load on the floor...
And totally deaf to the noise from behind...
'E wallpapered the bloke to the door.

Next morning, owd Albert were summoned,
And by 'eck, he were torn off a strip.
For scrapin' the bloke off the paintwork
And hiding 'is bits in the skip.

The manager screamed, "Well... you've done it this time,
What the Hell did you think you were doin'?
Dumping a corpse in the big yellow skip...?




BTW, the above is pure plagarism and hardly any of it written by me.

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I read an interesting article once; it said that basically all managers were incompetent. It demonstrated that personnel within an organisation got promoted until they reached their level of incompetence:


Joe starts off working on the shopfloor running a machine, he is quite good at it and gets promoted to team leader.

He works as a team leader for several months and his team's output improves significantly, he gets promoted to supervisor.

He has responsibility for several teams and their combined output increases and downtime is reduced, he gets promoted to shift manager.

He reduces absences, devises a new bonus scheme and his shift is the top performing shift within the organisation, he gets promoted to production manager.

He is totally inept in his new role, he doesn't get any further promotions. He has reached his level of incompetence.


I certainly recognise this within my workplace.

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To be a bit of a devils advocate / argue for the sake of it, here's the counter argument.

It's not the health and safety brigade that is the main problem, it's the blame culture / everyone suing everyone else.

The original directive of needing manual handling training has probably come about because someone somewhere probably sued their employer when they did their back in picking someone up, having had inappropriate training.

Because if that sort if thing it costs companies a fortune training people to do common sense things.

I was one of these scabs once. When I was a student I help tidy up some tables after a class. I picked one up too fast, hit myself in the face and knocked out my new £500 cap on my front tooth. Now I don't like this suing culture at all, but I did see an opportunity to claim on the university's insurance to pay for the replacement.

In the end it wasn't upheld though. So what's the point in anything.

But then even the correct training isn't good enough. I'm in the TA. We've been trained to do first aid in a battlefield situation. But we're advised not to help if we see someone have a cardiac arrest in the street, because if we do something wrong, or break a rib or two, we can be personally sued.

It's a crazy, ****** up world.

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Exactly TT... It's amazing!

You'd have to be bloody bonkers to think 'right, he's having a heart attack... I'll... no I won't because if I do and he dies, I'll be up'

Fight it at the inquest is my advice.

Yes, I think at the army we pretty much unanimously agreed that. Not doing it completely contradicts the values and standards if a soldier, which are drilled into us all the time.

But the technical line from the army is not to do anything, and if we do, it's on us. I'm happy to accept that, but it's mental that it's even something we have to consider.

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Just leave the poor fecker on the floor. Put a sign up so people don't trip over him. Maybe stick a vis jacket and some flashing lights on him.

Good idea that.....

Sounds like they need an 'access champion' to risk assess the trip hazard of the entrance matting.

Alternatively has anyone considered that the old fella might have done this deliberately in order to get the young girls on reception to man handle him.

P.s i hope someone remembered to write it all down in the accident book.

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The Western world is stupid, the governments, companies and various other agencies that run the world are stupid, most of the people in it are also stupid. Life is far too easy for most people and technology and what not have given us a backward step on our evolutionary path in my view (see Andre Wisdom for reference).


We're no longer encouraged to think on our feet, put ourselves in challenging situations and figure out how to come out of the other side unscathed.


Those in power are completely **** scared of losing it or losing money because of litigation, a blame happy media or a disappointed middle class. Governments don't take risks or innovate because they are so scared of making mistake, the irony of which is that they then tend to make mistakes in administration which is ultimately far more embarrassing for them.


What was probably put in place to protect the people actually goes so far that it assumes that the people can't protect themselves or each other and what we're left with is a pathetic population who believe everything they read in the papers, who are scared of their own shadow and who are encouraged to blame someone else for their own misfortune because it might be worth a few bob to them and it makes them feel better.


I did a history degree and you only have to go back 50-60 years to see how the Western world has changed from a resilient, innovative and determined community (albeit it a fractured community, the point is that people worked together for a cause they believed in or simply to survive) into an apathetic mass who hide behind their keyboards, desks and TV screens waiting for someone to 'do something for them'.


We're discouraged from making things happen, taking risks and using our own judgement to assess situations because it's easier for us not to do so. It's a frustrating time to live, yet it's probably the most affluent and prosperous period in our entire existence (recession aside perhaps). I wouldn't want to go back to the second world war but some of the remarkable societal activity that was brought about by hardship is something that we have completely turned our back on now that we're all relatively comfortable in our day to day existence.


Alpha's example is just the tip of the iceberg of how utterly pathetic we have become in general.


In fairness today I am p1ssed off with the world, tomorrow I may be my usual cheery self.


Too much time reading Alpha's posts I think...

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I worked as a 'community carer' recently - had to go on loads of training, mainly lifting and handling, infection control and first aid. Just basically ar5e covering by the company but interesting all the same, keeping you and your 'clients' safe. 


There has been some cases where a person that has been given CPR, have tried to sue the person giving it for breaking ribs etc but I don't think you get very far - that's a precedent that shouldn't be set I don't think.


I once found an elderly gentleman on the floor,he'd basically slipped off his chair.  I had to leave him there and phone the ambulance.  He just kept saying, 'can you just help me up duck' - well no, I can't.   :(   Thinking about it afterwards and watching how the paramedics dealt with him, (they used like an inflatable bed to lift him up) if I'd have just helped him sit up, he could have had a back injury and I'd have made it worse.  I'm no paramedic, I can't assess his injuries - there could have been a reason he fell, could have blacked out.  Your first reaction though, is to just give him a hand.


With Alphas one legged man - if there's more than one of you - and you are just really helping him up, rather than lifting, I can't see a problem.


I think it's just like anything, it's got to have a balance and a bit of common sense.

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Whilst we can all blame the ambulance chasers (and I do to a certain extent), most of the blame for our litigious culture has to be shouldered by us, Joe Public and in some cases employers themselves.


When I tripped over and broke my wrist at work I had my union rep straight round:


"You wanna claim for that". 

"Why, I just tripped up?"

"Well it's got to be the company's fault".

"No, just me tripping up".


Then my boss invited me for an accident investigation:


"How did it happen?"

"Just tripped up". 

"So the company's not to blame?"


"So you were performing an unsafe act?"

"Show me how to trip up safely".

"You do know you may receive a warning as a result of this investigation".

"Try it!".


So I didn't claim and in the end my boss didn't dare give me a warning, but I can see why some people may claim just to avoid getting a warning.


Mad as cheese!

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I worked at a hospital a few years ago, and as I was walking down the stairs (safely, holding on to the bannister) I gashed my hand (there was a shard of metal sticking out of said bannister). Alcohol was not involved.


Blood pouring out, I took a trip to Casualty and got it cleaned, stitched and dressed.


The bloody accident report I had to fill in when I got back to the IT department where I worked came to about 6 frigging pages and got bounced around between me, IT, HR and the Services Department for about a month.

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I can't imagine it much worse. You know how the zombie apocalypse is the craze in cinema and gaming etc right now?

I think it's already happened.

We're all shepherded into nice little pens where we don't think for ourselves.

Must follow the rules. Must do the 'right and proper' thing.

Maybe someone more intelligent could word it for me better. It seems to me that thinking for yourself and making decisions based on your own moral compass is not promoted anymore. We're subconsciously signing up to have others think for us. Asses risks for us. Tell us our rights and freedoms. We all work towards making this place some sort of utopia. Where a person will always do the 'right' thing rather than what their instincts tell them to do. Ignoring the instincts that actually got us into a position we can all enjoy. A 'free' country.

Now we're all giving it all back. Dumbing down to follow one ideal.

Struggling to explain but the 'right' thing is often not the right thing. Can't help but feel that there's some sort of animal within us that knows which path we should take. You see a guy on the floor, Step aside and let a trained professional deal with the man.

C'mon, what's that voice in your head telling you? That's YOU! That voice is the only voice that you need to answer to.

It's ok but this holding hand society we've got doing 'the right thing' is probably as selfish as ever.

We blame someone else when the code is broken because I always do the 'right thing'.

It's like having someone thinking for us and us all following the same mindless path has somehow stopped human compassion. We follow the path and all go the same way but we do so individually.

Like zombies! Lol. All lumbering along. Individually. Mustn't leave the path. Mustn't think outside the box.

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