Mostyn6

I'm a half-fenian. Which will amuse @eddie, no doubt.

You ok hun?

Can you give me their address and phone number please?

Glad to hear things are on the up!
I participated in this thread early doors, telling my experiences of a family member who was going through, and on occasion putting us through, hell. We had an awful Christmas last year. 
What a difference a year makes! The family member has a girlfriend he lives with, quit the job he hated and was headhunted by a recruitment agency who had seen his CV online for a job he started 3 weeks ago which he absolutely loves. His confidence has sky-rocketted recently and his social anxiety and depression diminished.

when you go for a curry and they serve your naan bread sliced into quarters! Grrrrrr

It's been a year since I posted the original post in this thread.
Cannot truly remember my mind at that time, but I was certainly looking for answers to understand my feelings. 
This thread has done me wonders and I can only thank every person who's posted in the thread and private messaged me. 
A year on, I'm certainly in a better place mentally.
I am however, very emotional at the moment. I've recently became an uncle. A good friend is lying in a hospital bed dying. My gran had a brain tumour removed and is recovering and I've managed to build a bridge with my mother having not really spoken to her in 4 years. 
Today, I was reading twitter whilst having a poo at work and spotted the story in the Bournemouth paper about the letter attached to the balloon by a little boy who lost his dad and then went into foster care cos his mum was poorly. I'm not exaggerating, it took me about 25 minutes to get myself back together before I could go back into the office. It totally slayed me emotionally reading it.

dig out the story, it's heartbreaking. Just seeing the letter is cutting.
 

It's been a year since I posted the original post in this thread.
Cannot truly remember my mind at that time, but I was certainly looking for answers to understand my feelings. 
This thread has done me wonders and I can only thank every person who's posted in the thread and private messaged me. 
A year on, I'm certainly in a better place mentally.
I am however, very emotional at the moment. I've recently became an uncle. A good friend is lying in a hospital bed dying. My gran had a brain tumour removed and is recovering and I've managed to build a bridge with my mother having not really spoken to her in 4 years. 
Today, I was reading twitter whilst having a poo at work and spotted the story in the Bournemouth paper about the letter attached to the balloon by a little boy who lost his dad and then went into foster care cos his mum was poorly. I'm not exaggerating, it took me about 25 minutes to get myself back together before I could go back into the office. It totally slayed me emotionally reading it.

dig out the story, it's heartbreaking. Just seeing the letter is cutting.
 

Glad you are feeling healthier mentally, it's a great thread you started and very helpful, thought provoking and obviously necessary.
I'd imagine after you'd spent half an hour on the bog, the rest of the office gave it an hour, at least, before venturing in?

It's been a year since I posted the original post in this thread.
Cannot truly remember my mind at that time, but I was certainly looking for answers to understand my feelings. 
This thread has done me wonders and I can only thank every person who's posted in the thread and private messaged me. 
A year on, I'm certainly in a better place mentally.
I am however, very emotional at the moment. I've recently became an uncle. A good friend is lying in a hospital bed dying. My gran had a brain tumour removed and is recovering and I've managed to build a bridge with my mother having not really spoken to her in 4 years. 
Today, I was reading twitter whilst having a poo at work and spotted the story in the Bournemouth paper about the letter attached to the balloon by a little boy who lost his dad and then went into foster care cos his mum was poorly. I'm not exaggerating, it took me about 25 minutes to get myself back together before I could go back into the office. It totally slayed me emotionally reading it.

always for me it something natural .. A beautiful view or an animal, a sunset or sunrise. There are other things of course. 
Remembering the things that inspired a sense of wonder long ago. That sense is still there in all of us but we don't tap into it because life becomes so routine and survival based rather than experience based as it was when you were younger .. Bit random as an answer but going to bed now. ... Night all sweet dreams 

Envelopes with so little glue on them that they won't stick down. Pathetic!

I find myself reading this thread more than the main forum these days.
Everybody is different, everyone of us handles things differently. I'm at the stage similar to @David managed to turn things around but still occasionally angry with myself for "losing" the 2 years I lost.
Like Ramit, I find writing poetry helps a lot and it was probably writing and then reading back this over and over that helped me snap out of it, made me remember that underneath it all, I'm a good lad.
Love You
What do you do when you've stopped loving you?
When you hate yourself for the things that you do and don’t do.
When you keep punishing yourself for all that you’ve done.
When those you loved have left you. When they've long since gone.

When you see your own reflection and hate the way that you look.
When you’re ashamed to admit that you couldn’t give a ****.
When you don’t go to bed 'cos you can’t face the dreams you have while sleeping
When you hate the thought of waking up cos all you do is keep on weeping.

When you can’t stand to look at yourself through your own eyes.
When your disgust is focused on one person and it’s you, you despise.
When you open your own mouth and all you hear is lie after lie
When you’ve given up on yourself so badly, that you don’t even try.

When you tell those around you, that of course you’re alright.
When you’re secretly wishing they’d just get out of your sight.
When you can’t admit that you’re not feeling well to anyone who asks.
When you can’t even begin to complete the simplest of tasks.

When it’s been so long since anything went right.
When you know deep inside you can no longer fight.
When you go four or five days without taking a shower.
When you can’t move from your room, cos you don’t have the power.

So please God come and tell me what should I do?
Have You ever been to that place when You’ve stopped loving You?
Why can’t I stop hating everything about me?
Why can’t I open my eyes to the good stuff, why can’t I let myself see?

When will I stop trying to hide?
When will I stop dying inside?
Whatever it is that I’m trying, I’ve still had no luck.
I’m still lying, I’m still crying and I still don’t give a ****.

What do you do when you no longer love you?
Please don’t ask me cos I haven't got a clue.
All I can do is keep my eyes open day after day.
And hope the self-loathing vanishes, keep praying it goes away.

one thing, if only one thing, that this whole thread should teach you, nobody is unique in suffering. I don't mean it to play anything down, but I've taken a clear thought from this thread, whatever feeling I have had, good or bad, someone else has experienced the same or more. 

You'd be very very very surprised just how many people in the world would find resonance in this. 
Very well captured.

i am better at talking about how i am feeling than writing about it, but if i do i make it into a poem
Some weeks, this is me
Bleak
i am so sad and i don't know why
something good has passed me by
and every thought within my head
is poisoned by a pitch black dread

i am so tired and i cannot sleep
my anguish is intense and deep
and thinking of it i have observed
something inside say it's deserved

i am so bewildered am feeling ill
i swear it's all against my will
i want to break free into the light
but feel too weak to put up a fight

i am so afraid that i will fail
to escape out of this awful jail
pray to God to give me strength
and help me go to any length
 

when you go for a curry and they serve your naan bread sliced into quarters! Grrrrrr

I've been have 3 traffic jams a day this week. There were 4 x 3-car outside lane pile-ups on my commute home yesterday
It's taking me over 2 hours to do a 60mile trip :'( 

the M42....

When you pick up your work mug, only to see someone has wrote 'I love c0ck' on the underneath in black marker!
You change it to I love DCFC, only to find it reads 'I love D1ck' next break!
Knowing who the culprit is, you pick up his Stainless steel thermos mug, and realising it has a black bottom decide to write the most offensive sexual swear word on the bottom in Tipp-Ex, only to watch in horror as the female company secretary picks the mug up and walks back to the office with it!
I should add, this was in response to me writing 'You Rams' on the bottom of the works director's Florest mug earlier in the week, so I only have myself to blame for my pending unemployment!

I'm complaining about it purely based on the fact that a bit like the London Olympics, there are higher priorities that need money chucking them than HS2.
Such as homeless, the hungry, the ill, the disabled, the poor, the hard working but poor, the schools, the hospitals, local services, mental health budgets that bizarrely have been slashed despite mental health certain to get worse as social media takes over the planet.
Anyway, love the explosions avatar. Has to be their finest album.
 
 

when people let your tyres down! 
I once went to York on a lads weekend, and in the morning, my wife went into labour and I had to rush back, but some tosser had deflated my tyres so I missed the birth of my triplets.

Some sugar free milk here for you fella - 
http://www.blackcow.co.uk/about/

water