Tony Le Mesmer

I stick up for myself and others in my jobs I've had but eventually ended up ill and unemployed. Principles, hard graft and doing the right thing don't always get you where you want to be. Arse licking , back stabbing and having no dignity often do though. It's just a case of what is the most intrinsically important to the individual I guess.

I'm not an expert but Mostyn is spot on (and that's a sentence I didn't think I would ever type).
One thing though: Execise is great & can help a lot but I would recommend doing cardio stuff instead of weights. Get the blood pumping for a good period of time regularly and you should feel some benefit.

if there's one thing you should know, you should never feel like your own feelings, if though you perhaps cannot explain and understand them, are irrelevant on the basis of comparison.
The whole reason I started this thread was because I was consumed and confused. Consumed by a heavy sadness, and confused as to why, when I have no relative reason (compared to others). 
It became apparent from this thread that there is a massive spectrum from being aware you feel a bit low, to being on the brink of suicide, and beyond.
I cannot tell you what to do, and I cannot and will not tell you to ignore your feelings, but one or two things I will advise, take an hour and read through this thread, it will amaze you what you relate to and what you pick up. I will also say, talk to someone, anyone, it doesn't matter who, just saying it will be massively therapeutic and will trigger the recovery (or dealing with) process. Also, if weights aren't working, change the exercise for something else, if you're in a rut or regime, you won't feel a sense of achievement and a challenge.
All said and done mate, you are not alone in your feelings. You never will be. Hope things improve for you, and if you ever want to PM me, please do so. I have PMd others off the back of this thread, and it helped me, and others have PMd me, and I sincerely hope just talking helped them.
 

I was hesitant to post this on here incase it comes across that I'm attention seeking but I can assure you I'm not, I just need to get this off my chest somewhere. I don't want to say that I think I have a form of depression as such because I don't believe that's fair on people who genuinely have it but over the last year or so I've been really down. I don't know what the particular cause of it was, maybe a collection of factors such as stresses with work or such but every day seems like a slog to get through. Even the so called good things that I used to like doing before now make me upset and down now and it feels like a ton of bricks have just fallen upon me. The good days are ok but the bad days which seem to be on a regular basis now are really ****. I now more pessimistic than I ever have been in my life. I don't feel that I can talk to any family relatives or friends because I feel they won't understand and I'm hesitant to even get a diagnosis from the doctors because I had some problems when I was younger which were just brushed off by them. I've tried doing physical activities like lifting weights which I must admit helped for a short while to take my mind off things but even doing that seems like a slog. Sorry for this massive piece of text but can anyone with similar experiences in the past possibly give me advice about how to get through this period? I thought this was just what every normal person experiences but I'm convinced it's something more than that

I know. But you see things very differently, at various stages of your life, and hugely dependant on state of mind. If I was given those now, I'd take them no problem. Thing is though, I don't need them now. When they were prescribed to me, I was in a right state. The doctor asked me about three questions. Didn't even look up from the notes he was making, presumably about the previous patient. Anyway, I decided not to eat them. I took a different route.  Maybe they'd have helped. I'll never know. They'd almost certainly have speeded up the process of getting better. I hope I never have to make such choices again. 
Glad that they worked for you. A couple of others have told me the same. 

Yes. But when you've already spent a couple of hours in the rain, on the embankment of the West coast mainline, a couple of those side effects are worrying. 

Fans at football matches getting their phones out and filming when a goal is scored. How about putting the flamin' thing in your pocket for once and enjoy the emotion you idiots!
Why are you even filming it? There's about 30 tv cameras doing the same thing on your behalf. Jeez.

At least you can hold your head up high knowing you have the respect from your peers even if it has held you on the lower rungs of the corporate ladder. 
Hope you are ok now.

I stick up for myself and others in my jobs I've had but eventually ended up ill and unemployed. Principles, hard graft and doing the right thing don't always get you where you want to be. Arse licking , back stabbing and having no dignity often do though. It's just a case of what is the most intrinsically important to the individual I guess.

Was it a 1680s weekender? Who was topping the bill? Handel?
Reading this you'll probably have me pegged as a rapscallion or a jackanapes.

TBH I have got to where I am through hard work and not sounding like a knob or sucking up to higher management . You could say I there on merit . 

Was,just talking about this last night. Even in the late 80's early 90's we were all as kids making costumes out of old sheets and household stuff. Nowadays there are aisles of ready made costumes in shops to buy .

When I was young I didn't go around begging for sweets off people. If anything happened on Halloween it was trying to get an apple out of a bowl of water. Also you were lucky if your mum made you a ghost outfit from some old bed sheets not these fancy things you get from Sainsburys. 
So I detest the Americanisation of Halloween and the loss of anything traditional to this country . 

I can't agree with this Tony, surely the chance to educate and rehabilitate once inside is a golden opportunity for prisoners to change their ways, and come out with at least the intention of making a positive contribution to society?
Far cheaper for society as a whole, in many ways, to have prisoners released with at least a chance of making it in the world, than to waste the chance of improving both theirs, and subsequently our way of life.
Anyone who thinks prison is easy needs to step out the door, breathe the air, take a walk and then imagine not being able to do that at your own violition.
Obviously some people should never be released, but far too many people are jailed to look tough on crime, rather than any great societal need.
 

You forget though that everyone nowadays is SUV obsessed and thus the average sized car is becoming obsolete.
I find it weird that as a nation we are supposed to be skint yet everyone seems to be driving round in brand new cars.

There's no fog!!!

If everyone knew the score (15 years ban non negotiable ) before using their phones then many many people will think twice about risking it. A good thing . You'll always get those who simply don't give a toss and will still do it anyway.
These are likely to be the more persistent offenders so hopefully they'll get caught one day and be off the roads for 15 years or at the very least they might take more care about driving and using their phones than they did before even though they are still doing it.
Those currently that drive round holding their phones to their ears should also be fined 5,000k in addition just for being total cretins.
Yes there will be loads of people unable to drive their kids to school or drive to work having been caught but there are loads of people out there who manage perfectly well without a car so they need to accept responsibility for being a stupid moron and get on with life as best they can without bleating about it.
Agree about the Brexit thread though Mostyn. Well, Brexit in general really. My life hasn't changed one iota since Brexit and it won't. People are obsessed with it. Just get on with your lives and what happens happens is what I say. The world still turns. We have food, water and can go and watch Derby. What's the problem?

Agree with having far stiffer sentences for using mobile phones whilst driving but for it to be effective there needs to get a much greater police presence on the roads - no point if people think there's only a 1 in 10,000 chance of getting caught. Reduce those odds to 1 in 100 and there'd be far more convictions, increased publicity which in itself would further reduce the chances of getting away with using mobiles because, unless you're a complete numpty, you know your day to be caught will come.

We are going to have to work on 'The Pub' threads, as when Steve Mac makes us all happy the 'Rams Talk' area will be all blue birds on our shoulders and the sun having his hat on. 

If everyone knew the score (15 years ban non negotiable ) before using their phones then many many people will think twice about risking it. A good thing . You'll always get those who simply don't give a toss and will still do it anyway.
These are likely to be the more persistent offenders so hopefully they'll get caught one day and be off the roads for 15 years or at the very least they might take more care about driving and using their phones than they did before even though they are still doing it.
Those currently that drive round holding their phones to their ears should also be fined 5,000k in addition just for being total cretins.
Yes there will be loads of people unable to drive their kids to school or drive to work having been caught but there are loads of people out there who manage perfectly well without a car so they need to accept responsibility for being a stupid moron and get on with life as best they can without bleating about it.
Agree about the Brexit thread though Mostyn. Well, Brexit in general really. My life hasn't changed one iota since Brexit and it won't. People are obsessed with it. Just get on with your lives and what happens happens is what I say. The world still turns. We have food, water and can go and watch Derby. What's the problem?

I half agree @Tony Le Mesmer, especially when you read about people raping kids getting 8 years. Cocaine smugglers getting 23 years.
The whole lot needs ripping up and starting again.
Personally, make lorries like Faraday cages where no signal can be received, except for navigational purposes.

Not sure if anyone has covered this before but 'chuggers' and people claiming to represent a business or charity virtually accosting you as you go about your merry way.
In Chesterfield town centre today I needed to pop in to pick something up. I was roughly 10 minutes from leaving the car park to returning back to my car and I was rudely interrupted 7 times whilst the opportunities for a plethora of other chuggers was missed due to me diverting or taking a wide berth whilst passing.
First I had some homeless charity. They have my sympathy but I won't give if they harass me. Then Salvation Army bloke stood right in the middle of the pavment. He wasn't shouting or trying to verbally assault passers by to be fair, simply an elderly gentleman dressed in the uniform with a collecting tin. Acceptable but I was in a rush. Then seconds later I pass two women sat down alongside a load of leaflets about God and the Bible. No thanks.
"ROOFS, WINDOWS, DOORS!! shouts a small unkempt man whilst simultaneously thrusting a leaflet in the general direction of my face.
Then comes the AA man. No thanks mate, i'm already a member. Then the Sky bloke next to him.  Same response I gave the AA man - both true.
Talk Talk want a word. I'm not in the talking mood by now so just blank them and then on entering the post office I get a bloke representing injured servicemen who scuttled across the 10 yards into my personal space thrusting another leaflet in my face and shouting help for the injured servicemen. All admirable charities but I won't give if you pester. If you sit there with a large banner quiet as a mouse and smile then yes, I think I have spare change but otherwise just piss off out of my face please.
There were a few more. Some revolutionary flat roofing system that I might vaguely be interested in if I ever earn enough money to own my own house but until then. Bugger off.
I will write to Chesterfield Borough Council about this and I won't be going back into the town centre unless I have absolutely no other option but to do so. Is it like this in Derby or where you live?
I think in Chesterfield with it being a small compact town it's more noticeable as space for them all is at a premium but it just seems that wherever you are or whatever you are doing people are always after money.
With me though it's counterproductive as I won't give if asked - only if I see something and am free to make my own mind up in my own time without being terrorised. They are no more than aggressive beggars and it needs to be stopped.

Cheers KR. I'll never be my old self but I guess as you get older things change for everybody. It's about accepting and dealing with change no matter what it is as best you can. I've always been open and able to talk about problems though, that's never been an issue. I've even let a doctor shove his finger up my arse and probably made him more embarrassed than me!
All in the name of good health though you'll understand.

Hi mate, sorry to hear that. I recognise a lot of what you are saying, especially regarding the job and the pressure it puts on us when change happens. It happens a lot in my career and it used to scare the hell out of me, and it still makes me anxious nowadays, but at a lower level. 
We have a health and safety get together in the office every 2 weeks and it usually boring, however this week one of the guys did a 5 minute talk about how change in the workplace affects our mental health. 
He quoted a 5 stage process of how we react to change, sorry I cant remember the name for it, but you will find it online. It sounds like you are in the first stage of "why me". Its a natural reaction that everyone will be going through. The good thing is that you a talking about it. 
I try to treat new work circumstances like a new chapter of a book. I try to look forward and pick out the positives.
Try not to bottle it in, talk to friends and family. Hopefully even typing it out on this forum helps, even if its just a little bit. 
 
 
 

I've been wanting to post in here for nearly a week but not quite built up the courage until now.  I have had a slight history with depression initially diagnosed in 2009 as Stress, Depression and Anxiety - although I am not sure what ratios I was suffering with each of them or how long I had actually been ill.  Back then it was related my mum being diagnosed with a terminal illness and being made redundant and the confidence issues related to that.  I had tablets from the doctor and with a couple of small setbacks have been pretty good for most of the time since.
 
Then on Monday there was a change at work, our MD and his number 2 have been made redundant our team are moving to be part of another.  This has created a massive worry for me.  It is filling all my thoughts, I am losing my appetite, struggling to sleep, not enjoying things that I previously love and not wanting to be alone as that is thinking time.  My question is, when does being worried about something become something more serious?
It has brought home how my job - which is probably 75-80% of the family income - underpins everything we as a family have and I just keep replaying thoughts of everything we could lose.