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The Vegan Club are Recruiting


David

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The first rule of Vegan Club is: Tell EVERYONE you’re a Vegan

The second rule of Vegan Club is: Tell EVERYONE you’re a Vegan.

Sorry did I say club? I meant cult, or am I being a cu..?

So you have gone from downing hairy pork scratchings and smashing kebabs to a life to tofu and beans, you have replaced peppa pig with parmela potatoes, nobody cares. 

I mean it, nobody cares, nobody cares how many vitamins and supplements you have to take for your body to function, you know damn well when you catch a whiff of a sizzling sausage you’re insides are drooling away urging you to send a Cumberland down the chute, because you’re a meat eater, it’s what we are, we eat meat. 

Deprive yourself in peace, I’m done with your hashtags and infographics trying to make me feel guilty for stuffing a chicken. 

Enough.

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The third rule of Vegan Club is: To stop everyone using the new £5 notes

Its almost like all these different tiny minority groups want the overwhelming majority to bend to their will all the time. I'm bending in so many directions these days I'm about to shatter. ?

Oh, and can we change 'The Pub' to 'The Asylum' I think it would fit better!  I'm now glad I worked the bank holiday cos I'm taking today off, gonna spend most of it in the actual pub before I make my way to the match tonight.  I strayed into this forum last week and can't seem to leave, I'm hoping excess alcohol will have a numbing effect...

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My sister-in-law was vegan when my vegetarian brother met her - he successfully logic'd her into 'downgrading' to vegetarian. I personally think that's the greatest achievement anyone in my family will ever manage.

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2 minutes ago, Boycie said:

Sad news.

Invite him round for a bbq.

Mind you, did I tell you I’m wheat intolerant?

I offered to buy his BBQ, great big thing it is, thought I was taking the piss but I was being serious. Be grilling his Tofu this summer.

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I have a confession.

I'm massively tempted by a vegan diet after a hell of a lot of research into both arguments.

But i'm definitely not interested in being a vegan. A vegan diet and being a vegan are 2 very different things by my reckoning.

 

 

If anything i would try and hide it due to the ridicule which also isn't right.

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10 minutes ago, Smyth_18 said:

I have a confession.

I'm massively tempted by a vegan diet after a hell of a lot of research into both arguments.

But i'm definitely not interested in being a vegan. A vegan diet and being a vegan are 2 very different things by my reckoning.

 

 

If anything i would try and hide it due to the ridicule which also isn't right.

You shouldn’t have to hide it, if I had a builder round that took sugar in his tea I’d buy a bag to accommodate him.

It’s the being a vegan as you said, the recruitment drive, the guilt they try and force upon you....”think of the poor animals, they have feelings you know!”

It’s also a proven fact that depriving yourself of meat makes you lose your sense of humour, I came under attack on Facebook few weeks ago for daring to joke about animals being food. 

Not a laughing matter, boy did I find that out. 

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1 minute ago, David said:

You shouldn’t have to hide it, if I had a builder round that took sugar in his tea I’d buy a bag to accommodate him.

It’s the being a vegan as you said, the recruitment drive, the guilt they try and force upon you....”think of the poor animals, they have feelings you know!”

It’s also a proven fact that depriving yourself of meat makes you lose your sense of humour, I came under attack on Facebook few weeks ago for daring to joke about animals being food. 

Not a laughing matter, boy did I find that out. 

Its almost as though life is imitating this sub forum or visa-versa.  I used to enjoy reading about Derby here but now I can't seem to escape guilt and solemness of 'The Pub'.  Boy am I glad its match day!

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Re the guilt tripping - best response I ever heard to the "what about the poor animals?" line - "**** em".

Completely shut down the argument as they literally had nowhere to go after that.

One guy I know refused to buy a waxed coat because he thought it would condone the abuse of bees. I'll admit, I laughed in his face. 

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1 hour ago, David said:

You shouldn’t have to hide it, if I had a builder round that took sugar in his tea I’d buy a bag to accommodate him.

It’s the being a vegan as you said, the recruitment drive, the guilt they try and force upon you....”think of the poor animals, they have feelings you know!”

It’s also a proven fact that depriving yourself of meat makes you lose your sense of humour, I came under attack on Facebook few weeks ago for daring to joke about animals being food. 

Not a laughing matter, boy did I find that out. 

I really couldn't give a flying about the animals. The amount of times i've been chased by cows and stepped in their deceiving *****, they deserve it. Pigs are a waste of space too.

But the benefits of a vegan diet are huge, and definitely worth a try at some point. (the short stints i have tried, i have felt so much better). So you should give it a go mate, you're half way there by only buying apple products.

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7 minutes ago, Smyth_18 said:

I really couldn't give a flying about the animals. The amount of times i've been chased by cows and stepped in their deceiving *****, they deserve it. Pigs are a waste of space too.

If you’re getting chased by cows I would suggest you need to get yourself a new sat nav.

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