Ellafella Posted May 7, 2018 Share Posted May 7, 2018 1. Shakespeare could not have written the script for the denouement of this 17-18 Championship encounter, for there was no comedy, no tragedy and nobody died, save for the Tykes ebbing Championship embers. 2. There was only one master scribe yesterday and it was, to quote Partridge, Sir Gary of Rowettshire, who once again has the freedom of Derbyshire. His beef and Yorkshires will taste oh so nice today, as he reflects on a perfect Pride Park performance. 3. For his side dispatched lowly Barnsley yesterday pretty much at a canter. And 4 goals – one each for his striking ensemble all of whom then turned provider...all Roy of the Rovers stuff indeed. 4. Pre-match the Fan’s Park was replete with sun, shades, shirt-sleeves and sandals as the amber liquid flowed mostly downwards. The Band, hailing from the wrong end of the A52, gently enquired “Is it a big match today?”. Bless ‘em...there’s not a lot of call for football in Notts these days. 5. Pride Park Pitch was a patchwork of perfect perpendicularity – you’ve seldom seen such sumptuous shades of verdant green and the stands were jam-packed. The noise as the players entered the arena was heartfelt and determined, flags and fireworks flapping and flaming set the scene appositely for the ensuing battle. It will be remembered as one of those 90 minutes that you just didn’t want to end, that live long and become more vivid as time elapses. 6. An even start with both sides jabbing, weaving and bobbing; the metronomic Weimann cutting in and finding Olsson in space who catapulted a magnificent pile-driver from 25 yards that stung the Barnsley stopper’s hand as he flapped it for a corner. The writing was on the wall as the home sound cranked up the volume... 7. After 15 minutes or so Johnson picked up and gathered mid-own-half, controlled, then unhurled what in cricket circles would have been a mint of an off-break, pitching 20 yards inside the Barnsley half, hugging the touchline as it landed before dinking sideways with spin into the grateful path of a blur of a Jerome at full-pace. He advanced 40 yards at white-heat pace and let rip with a shot that tore the roof-rigging from the Barnsley onion-bag. Pure power; Pride Park pandemonium. 8. Olson was carted off with a twisted something ...he never seems to have much luck. 9. The circumferentially challenged lady was warbling at half-time before the inevitable torrent of derby attacks led by a relentless Jerome...Barnsley could not cope with him and it was he who steamed down the right before an inch-perfect pass to the Golden-boot to side-foot home. Game over. E-I-E-I-E-I-OOOOOOOOOOO....... 10. Jerome exited soon after...his work was done and precaution after a tight right ham...Lord please preserve him...and puppy-dog Nuge entered the arena sniffing blood. 11. Vydra turned provider with a lovely sit-up-and-beg cross for Nugent’r grateful forehead...3-0. 12. Nuge then re-paid the favour squaring from the right for Lawrence to toe-poke home from 7 yards...Oh how Pride Park was rocking... 13. It was all a bit confusing from here-on-in with eyes on pitch and phone simultaneously . At once Barnsley fans erupted out of the blue as news came in of a Florist lead only for capricious Madam Football to piss on their chips once more... 14. I didn’t get to see Igor but sometimes there’s a symmetry to history if you dare look...Igor arrives, a change of formation and a long unbeaten run. Dare we to believe... 15. Cameron Jerome MOTM...thank you Sir, please keep ramming this humble pie into my mouth. 16. Fish and Fulham next Friday. Phenomenal. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mostyn6 Posted May 7, 2018 Share Posted May 7, 2018 not sure he'll be eating Beef and yorkies on a day like this. He'll be in a garden with a BBQ, bet ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePrisoner Posted May 7, 2018 Share Posted May 7, 2018 5 minutes ago, Moist One said: not sure he'll be eating Beef and yorkies on a day like this. He'll be in a garden with a BBQ, bet ya. And his **** trainers on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellafella Posted May 7, 2018 Author Share Posted May 7, 2018 10 minutes ago, Moist One said: not sure he'll be eating Beef and yorkies on a day like this. He'll be in a garden with a BBQ, bet ya. it'll be oysters and sauvignon blanc at Mel's more like.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mostyn6 Posted May 7, 2018 Share Posted May 7, 2018 Just now, Ellafella said: it'll be oysters and sauvignon blanc at Mel's more like.. Ewww, oysters.. in this heat. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellafella Posted May 7, 2018 Author Share Posted May 7, 2018 1 hour ago, Moist One said: Ewww, oysters.. in this heat. ? relax..Mel will serve them chilled with a soupcon of Tabasco. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyPowell Posted May 7, 2018 Share Posted May 7, 2018 16 minutes ago, Ellafella said: relax..Mel will serve them chilled with a soupcon of Tabasco. ? Apparently Mel has order Greggs to make an extra large humble pie for all the wrist slashers on here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellafella Posted May 7, 2018 Author Share Posted May 7, 2018 4 hours ago, TommyPowel said: Apparently Mel has order Greggs to make an extra large humble pie for all the wrist slashers on here 4 hours ago, TommyPowel said: Apparently Mel has order Greggs to make an extra large humble pie for all the wrist slashers on here I don’t think he has ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ossieram Posted May 7, 2018 Share Posted May 7, 2018 5 minutes ago, Ellafella said: I don’t think he has ? I agree, he'd have gone local and used Birds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Sagan Posted May 8, 2018 Share Posted May 8, 2018 A quite sumptuous write-up @Ellafella. Hope you're waxing equally lyrical after the playoff final. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FindernRam Posted May 8, 2018 Share Posted May 8, 2018 18 hours ago, Ellafella said: 1. Shakespeare could not have written the script for the denouement of this 17-18 Championship encounter, for there was no comedy, no tragedy and nobody died, save for the Tykes ebbing Championship embers. 2. There was only one master scribe yesterday and it was, to quote Partridge, Sir Gary of Rowettshire, who once again has the freedom of Derbyshire. His beef and Yorkshires will taste oh so nice today, as he reflects on a perfect Pride Park performance. 3. For his side dispatched lowly Barnsley yesterday pretty much at a canter. And 4 goals – one each for his striking ensemble all of whom then turned provider...all Roy of the Rovers stuff indeed. 4. Pre-match the Fan’s Park was replete with sun, shades, shirt-sleeves and sandals as the amber liquid flowed mostly downwards. The Band, hailing from the wrong end of the A52, gently enquired “Is it a big match today?”. Bless ‘em...there’s not a lot of call for football in Notts these days. 5. Pride Park Pitch was a patchwork of perfect perpendicularity – you’ve seldom seen such sumptuous shades of verdant green and the stands were jam-packed. The noise as the players entered the arena was heartfelt and determined, flags and fireworks flapping and flaming set the scene appositely for the ensuing battle. It will be remembered as one of those 90 minutes that you just didn’t want to end, that live long and become more vivid as time elapses. 6. An even start with both sides jabbing, weaving and bobbing; the metronomic Weimann cutting in and finding Olsson in space who catapulted a magnificent pile-driver from 25 yards that stung the Barnsley stopper’s hand as he flapped it for a corner. The writing was on the wall as the home sound cranked up the volume... 7. After 15 minutes or so Johnson picked up and gathered mid-own-half, controlled, then unhurled what in cricket circles would have been a mint of an off-break, pitching 20 yards inside the Barnsley half, hugging the touchline as it landed before dinking sideways with spin into the grateful path of a blur of a Jerome at full-pace. He advanced 40 yards at white-heat pace and let rip with a shot that tore the roof-rigging from the Barnsley onion-bag. Pure power; Pride Park pandemonium. 8. Olson was carted off with a twisted something ...he never seems to have much luck. 9. The circumferentially challenged lady was warbling at half-time before the inevitable torrent of derby attacks led by a relentless Jerome...Barnsley could not cope with him and it was he who steamed down the right before an inch-perfect pass to the Golden-boot to side-foot home. Game over. E-I-E-I-E-I-OOOOOOOOOOO....... 10. Jerome exited soon after...his work was done and precaution after a tight right ham...Lord please preserve him...and puppy-dog Nuge entered the arena sniffing blood. 11. Vydra turned provider with a lovely sit-up-and-beg cross for Nugent’r grateful forehead...3-0. 12. Nuge then re-paid the favour squaring from the right for Lawrence to toe-poke home from 7 yards...Oh how Pride Park was rocking... 13. It was all a bit confusing from here-on-in with eyes on pitch and phone simultaneously . At once Barnsley fans erupted out of the blue as news came in of a Florist lead only for capricious Madam Football to piss on their chips once more... 14. I didn’t get to see Igor but sometimes there’s a symmetry to history if you dare look...Igor arrives, a change of formation and a long unbeaten run. Dare we to believe... 15. Cameron Jerome MOTM...thank you Sir, please keep ramming this humble pie into my mouth. 16. Fish and Fulham next Friday. Phenomenal. ? If that's a nutshell you must have massive nuts! Magnificent prose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellafella Posted May 8, 2018 Author Share Posted May 8, 2018 8 minutes ago, FindernRam said: If that's a nutshell you must have massive nuts! Magnificent prose One doesn’t like to boast. ??⚖️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smyth_18 Posted May 8, 2018 Share Posted May 8, 2018 * insert customary 'big nutshell' post here. * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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