eddie Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 4 hours ago, ilkleyram said: Is there such a thing as Internal Haemorrhoid cream? Might it be better for @philmycock's friend? My friend tells me that Anusol comes with a stickyuppy applicator. When I, er, my friend, had an internal problem, he was prescribed nitroglycerin cream (no, it didn't blow them out). It was utterly wonderful for pain relief, but by golly, it doesn't half give you a headache. That wasn't for Chalfonts though but for a fissure (about a million times worse - I actually blacked out on the bog with the pain on one occasion). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norman Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 I had food poisoning once. Had a fancy lava burger, got the s**** after 3 hours and the rest of the weekend was spent in the hotel room. Nearly passed out on the train back, got home and the pain from my overused, cut-up arse was so bad I thought I was going to die. Cold baths, hot baths, nothing worked. Ended going up A and E and she just said "oh my god" when she had a look at my bum hole. That made the pain feel worse. Got prescribed these rather large submarine shaped tablets to stick up my arse hole as an anaesthetic. One foot on the side of the bath, I pushed it up and it went up, started coming back out again, then 'schlup', up it went and disappeared. The pain relief was brilliant. Only needed to do it the once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 4 minutes ago, Norman said: I had food poisoning once. Had a fancy lava burger, got the s**** after 3 hours and the rest of the weekend was spent in the hotel room. Nearly passed out on the train back, got home and the pain from my overused, cut-up arse was so bad I thought I was going to die. Cold baths, hot baths, nothing worked. Ended going up A and E and she just said "oh my god" when she had a look at my bum hole. That made the pain feel worse. Got prescribed these rather large submarine shaped tablets to stick up my arse hole as an anaesthetic. One foot on the side of the bath, I pushed it up and it went up, started coming back out again, then 'schlup', up it went and disappeared. The pain relief was brilliant. Only needed to do it the once. It was over a foot long? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Contain Nuts Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 15 minutes ago, Norman said: The pain relief was brilliant. Only needed to do it the once. ...and your poos come out looking like the white chalky dog turds of yore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteHorseRam Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 53 minutes ago, Norman said: I had food poisoning once. Had a fancy lava burger, got the s**** after 3 hours and the rest of the weekend was spent in the hotel room. Nearly passed out on the train back, got home and the pain from my overused, cut-up arse was so bad I thought I was going to die. Cold baths, hot baths, nothing worked. Ended going up A and E and she just said "oh my god" when she had a look at my bum hole. That made the pain feel worse. Got prescribed these rather large submarine shaped tablets to stick up my arse hole as an anaesthetic. One foot on the side of the bath, I pushed it up and it went up, started coming back out again, then 'schlup', up it went and disappeared. The pain relief was brilliant. Only needed to do it the once. Graphic. Are you Jane Austen in disguise? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilkleyram Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 With all these fantastic stories of illnesses that friends have suffered it sounds to me like safe standing should be a shoe in if it ever comes to a vote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 3 hours ago, eddie said: My friend tells me that Anusol comes with a stickyuppy applicator. When I, er, my friend, had an internal problem, he was prescribed nitroglycerin cream (no, it didn't blow them out). It was utterly wonderful for pain relief, but by golly, it doesn't half give you a headache. That wasn't for Chalfonts though but for a fissure (about a million times worse - I actually blacked out on the bog with the pain on one occasion). I think you mean that 'your friend' blacked out on the bog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozza Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 A 'friend' of mine had this problem a few years back, only they were internal (he tells me) had to go hospital every wednesday for a month to have them lassoed (tied off) very uncomfortable experience i would imagine.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PistoldPete2 Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 My friends wife uses sudocream which he tells me also worked for his babies nappy rash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteHorseRam Posted August 1, 2017 Share Posted August 1, 2017 On 31/07/2017 at 19:31, ilkleyram said: With all these fantastic stories of illnesses that friends have suffered it sounds to me like safe standing should be a shoe in if it ever comes to a vote Or rubber rings sold in black and white Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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