ladyram Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Imo I don't think someone who is clinically depressed who commits suicide is selfish. Someone in intense, inner pain only wants it to stop, how they think, how they judge etc are all affected by this. Suicide is the only escape to a crippling mindset they feel they have no power over. Selfish as a term used to describe people who succumb to this horrible illness is wrong. What's selfish to me is ignorant people calling them weak willed, by doing that, imo, all it does is add to the stigma that surrounds it. On a different note, I'm so glad for those of you who have managed to beat it. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anag Ram Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Everybody has a degree of power over their lives. Nobody has the right to decide whether anyone else lives or dies. That's why we did away with capital punishment. Sometimes a person will decide they don't want to be here right now. Some want to go away permanently. It's so sad for those left behind and often there's a stigma attached to the family. It's hard to tell someone that your loved one ended their own life. An element of shame creeps in and doubts emerge over their own self worth. RW's comedy always smacked of desperation. That manic energy which wanted to make others laugh masked his own sense of sadness. He wasn't selfish. He just didn't want to be here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
observer Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Imo I don't think someone who is clinically depressed who commits suicide is selfish. Someone in intense, inner pain only wants it to stop, how they think, how they judge etc are all affected by this. Suicide is the only escape to a crippling mindset they feel they have no power over. Selfish as a term used to describe people who succomb to this horrible illness is wrong. What's selfish to me is ignorant people calling them weak willed, by doing that, imo, all it does is add to the stigma that surrounds it. On a different note, I'm so glad for those of you who have managed to beat it. :-) i dont know if you missed what I was getting at, I meant it was selfish in terms of the wake it leaves behind, Admittedly I dont think I have severe depression but the thought of commiting suicide and leaving a close relative /friend or child to find me makes me feel even worse, then they would have to sort everything out.. Like I said I understand why people can see it as a solution, but I dont see how you can overlook all the side effects The problem is that it would be very rare for blokes to talk so openly about there inner turmoil, and I would assume addressing the fact you have an issue is the first step He seemed to seek a lot of help so that makes it all the more confusing for me because he would of understood that how he feels is the depression and not him naturally so to speak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastKentRam Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Everybody has a degree of power over their lives. Nobody has the right to decide whether anyone else lives or dies. That's why we did away with capital punishment. Sometimes a person will decide they don't want to be here right now. Some want to go away permanently. It's so sad for those left behind and often there's a stigma attached to the family. It's hard to tell someone that your loved one ended their own life. An element of shame creeps in and doubts emerge over their own self worth. RW's comedy always smacked of desperation. That manic energy which wanted to make others laugh masked his own sense of sadness. He wasn't selfish. He just didn't want to be here. Nicely put. It takes balls to take your own life, especially if you dont believe in an after life. If you dont want to be alive, you dont want to be alive, in that persons mind that's the better option than carrying on being unhappy, makes perfect sense really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Contain Nuts Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I'd never actually describe myself as depressive, but I'd certainly self diagnose myself as having personality disorder (avoidant). I've never felt that low that I'd consider suicide, I'm too scared of dying for a start! I have fits of panic just thinking about dying. As far as self harm goes, I have given myself a black eye before (over something really quite trivial), but that's as far as it's ever gone. The embarassment at having to making up an excuse was enough to make me not do it again! I put a lot of eggs in one basket and then get frustrated, that's all. Beat myself up about situations that aren't within my control, but also about situations that are in my control, I get annoyed with myself that I feel helpless to change them. Even something that really doesn't matter such as the Thorne injury had me thinking a bit irrationally, although I avoided posting on the thread/s about it, just dealt with it, really. I'm generally OK at managing the issue, even if that simply means burying it. Admittedly I have turned to alcohol a few times, but that's mainly usually just for enjoyment purposes (Gotta enjoy something! There's not a great many things that I do tbh) I can definitely sympathise and understand just how bad it can get for people, but you feel a fraud for even suggesting that things are bad for you when something like this happens. I think there's also generally a view that depression only affects people up to a certain age, as well as the fame aspect. I'm sure there would be plenty of people who knew Robin Williams' problems but assumed that because he'd got to 60+ that they must have gone away. That's simply not the case, obviously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladyram Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 That's the thing though, depression doesn't discriminate does it? It's like feckin cancer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladyram Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 i dont know if you missed what I was getting at, I meant it was selfish in terms of the wake it leaves behind, Maybe it is, I can see your point and to have to deal with the fallout must be very painful. But what I meant was, I think it's fair to say the sufferer is beyond thinking about the consequences for those left behind. The rational thought process won't be there. Hope I'm making sense here, it's hard to put this subject into words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mafiabob Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Maybe it is, I can see your point and to have to deal with the fallout must be very painful. But what I meant was, I think it's fair to say the sufferer is beyond thinking about the consequences for those left behind. The rational thought process won't be there. Hope I'm making sense here, it's hard to put this subject into words. you've explained it well there ladyram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i-Ram Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 [Depression] it's hard to put this subject into words. It's harder to put this subject into mime! As someone who has taken his fair share of Venlafaxine over the years, my view for what worth is that until you have suffered depression (or lived with someone who has) it is not a subject that any other poster can usefully comment on because there can be no real understanding. I can try to understand the pressure he must have been putting on himself over the last 20 years to reach his earlier heady career heights, but I would have hoped for him at 63, with a pile of cash, a pretty and devoted wife and a loving family, any negative thoughts would have long been banished. Can I suggest we limit this page for those who wish to pay respects, and as ness. start a new thread for anyone wishing to debate depression. Hoping RW finds inner contentment wherever he is heading, and his family never forget all the good times they enjoyed together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RLACML Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 [Depression] it's hard to put this subject into words. It's harder to put this subject into mime! As someone who has taken his fair share of Venlafaxine over the years, my view for what worth is that until you have suffered depression (or lived with someone who has) it is not a subject that any other poster can usefully comment on because there can be no real understanding. I can try to understand the pressure he must have been putting on himself over the last 20 years to reach his earlier heady career heights, but I would have hoped for him at 63, with a pile of cash, a pretty and devoted wife and a loving family, any negative thoughts would have long been banished. Can I suggest we limit this page for those who wish to pay respects, and as ness. start a new thread for anyone wishing to debate depression. Hoping RW finds inner contentment wherever he is heading, and his family never forget all the good times they enjoyed together. Just on the issue of a pile of cash, there are lots of reports that he was facing bankruptcy. Don't know how true that is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Now appearing in morgue and mindy. Hey come on he was a comedian. He might have like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cisse Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Did you guys knew that he was a cyclist too. He did hundred miles trips with his bikes. Owned over 50 race bikes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 We were at Madame Tussauds yesterday, it was a weird shock to see his wax work looking at me. We took some pic's with the kids and there was a book of condolences which we wrote in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladyram Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 We were at Madame Tussauds yesterday, it was a weird shock to see his wax work looking at me. We took some pic's with the kids and there was a book of condolences which we wrote in.I've got a framed pic of me with Robins waxwork. I love it too. The condolence book is a lovely idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladyram Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 [Depression] it's hard to put this subject into words. It's harder to put this subject into mime! As someone who has taken his fair share of Venlafaxine over the years, my view for what worth is that until you have suffered depression (or lived with someone who has) it is not a subject that any other poster can usefully comment on because there can be no real understanding. That's why I commented. I've been through it myself, I just didn't say so. Also, having money and fame makes no difference whatsoever as to wether someone gets struck by depression. It does not pick and choose. As for comments on this thread re suicide, the title of the thread will attract comments on the subject. I suppose if the thread title was RIP Robin Williams, (which is what we normally do) then it wouldn't have. I mean no disrespect here to RW here, I'm just pointing it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i-Ram Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 That's why I commented. I've been through it myself, I just didn't say so. Also, having money and fame makes no difference whatsoever as to wether someone gets struck by depression. It does not pick and choose. As for comments on this thread re suicide, the title of the thread will attract comments on the subject. I suppose if the thread title was RIP Robin Williams, (which is what we normally do) then it wouldn't have. I mean no disrespect here to RW here, I'm just pointing it out. LadyRam I was not singling you out, and I am sorry to learn you are in the '1 in 4' club too. Be happy x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladyram Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 LadyRam I was not singling you out, and I am sorry to learn you are in the '1 in 4' club too. Be happy xNo probs i-ram. And I am happy, have been for a good few years, and especially when I sing 'Always look on the bright side of life....' X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 I can confirm that Ladyram & Dav do seem happy. Over happy, too happy in fact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davenportram Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 I can confirm that Ladyram & Dav do seem happy. Over happy, too happy in fact. You can never be too happy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladyram Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 I can confirm that Ladyram & Dav do seem happy. Over happy, too happy in fact. This is true.... Except when he farts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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