McRainy Posted June 27, 2018 Share Posted June 27, 2018 15 minutes ago, SaintRam said: I'm glad you stated "UKCP accredited" so I don't have to warn people that 'psychotherapist' is an unprotected title. UKCP have good standards ? Agreed, it's a minefield, especially in the very lucrative 'self help' market. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob The Badger Posted June 27, 2018 Share Posted June 27, 2018 1 hour ago, Lambchop said: Agreed, it's a minefield, especially in the very lucrative 'self help' market. It's very lucrative for a very select few at the top and many are charlatans. People like Deepak Chipra (ironically autocorrect tried to change his first name to despair), the entire cast of The Secret and What The Bleep, Wayne Dyer before his untimely demise (obviously), Joe Vitale and to a lesser degree, for reasons I'll not get into, Tony Robbins. However, people further down the pecking order are struggling to makes ends meet after being sold the dream of coaching. There are some really excellent coaches out there, but it saddens me to say, they're in the minority. Some people think that because they are their friends go-to person for advise that they should be a coach. Somewhat like therapy, offering advise is the antithesis of good coaching. Anyway, I'm disliked by many in my industry because I'll call out the bs. NLP has a lot of value, especially on the linguistics side, but a lot is nonsense. Likewise, hypnotherapy can be useful. But not if it's a guy reading a script out of a book. That totally misses the point. I'm so far off topic now, but I feel strongly about an industry I work in that can't figure out how to help itself. Personally I'd like to see regulation, I'm just not sure how you'd enforce it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSD Posted June 28, 2018 Share Posted June 28, 2018 Some fantastic posts on this subject. I think for me, I’ve accepted I’m going to always be a little shy and not Mr outgoing party man. That’s just my personality, I don’t want to change who I am. I knew from an early age I was never going to be the popular person at school. I had friends but I like to keep myself to myself, without being rude and obnoxious. 20 years on, it’s still the same case. It took me years to get over the bullying I got at school. I never insulted any kids, I was just quiet and harmless. I kept thinking, it’s a problem with me and it wasnt. Years later, I spoke to some people who used to pick on me and realised they had just as many issues as me. And that’s when the lightbulb turned on. Everyone has problems, it’s not just me in my bubble. Accepting that helped me grow in confidence. Some folks are just better in social situations. Being polite and asking simple questions will give people the impression you care, even if you don’t. People like to feel important so just ask the simple small talk BS questions. If they want to be rude that’s fine. That’s not your fault at all. I am a lot more reserved when it comes to colleagues and work. I used to work in some god awful places, draining any motivation and confidence I’d built over time. I’m looking for a job again now and I know all the office crap I’ll have to face. It still makes me nervous, but I keep my chin up for my girlfriend and family who have been my rock through some bad times. My advice is accept who you are, embrace it and social things will improve slowly but surely ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PistoldPete2 Posted June 28, 2018 Share Posted June 28, 2018 On 26 June 2018 at 15:26, Lambchop said: I think this is key, and only you can know what's helpful or not for you. I was diagnosed with severe and persistent anxiety and PTSD following a prolonged period of stress at work. I've also since learned that my stress levels were particularly high due to instinctively masking autistic traits that I didn't even know I had. Most of the time you wouldn't know. I'm 'high functioning' in the sense that I have an active social life, I'm professionally qualified etc, but because of years of forcing myself into situations which caused high anxiety levels, I'm now at the burnout stage where that is no longer possible. I manage it by being very selective in what I take on. Some days are absolutely fine, others I can't get out the door. It's really helpful to understand and recognise your own processes, and make sure you meet your needs for 'down' time. For me, this means regular periods of silence and solitude, accepting myself as I am and not getting caught into trying to live up to other's expectations. I play music, meditate, and walk as a balance to dealing with anxiety provoking situations. Everyone is different and peoples anxieties are different. I Have had anxiety , similar to PTSD. Doctor told me avoidance is not the answer, and I agree up to a point. You need some stress in your life. Just don't overload yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alph Posted June 28, 2018 Share Posted June 28, 2018 Deleted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alph Posted June 28, 2018 Share Posted June 28, 2018 Deleted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted June 28, 2018 Share Posted June 28, 2018 7 minutes ago, Alpha said: Deleted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alph Posted June 28, 2018 Share Posted June 28, 2018 1 minute ago, reveldevil said: Are you saying he's too laid back, and needs more stress? Ffs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcfcfan1 Posted June 28, 2018 Share Posted June 28, 2018 Ive never suffered from Anxiety myself, but as a pharmacist (hopefully if I pass my exam) in August, I see lots and lots of young teenagers/adults taking medication for it, lots and lots of prescriptions for generalised anxiety/social anxiety disorders I may just be guessing but this "virgin shaming, Alpha male, attention seeking" culture is destroying a lot of men. And its really really sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob The Badger Posted June 29, 2018 Share Posted June 29, 2018 On 28/06/2018 at 15:11, Alpha said: Ffs The whole thread there seems to be missing, so I'm diving in at my peril and forgive me if I have missed the point. We all need stress in our lives. In his seminal book 'Flow' Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi talks about peak performance and how it is achieved not through the absence of stress, but having just the right amount. Not that I'm saying being laid back is wrong per se, it definitely isn't, just that it rarely leads to high performance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PistoldPete2 Posted June 30, 2018 Share Posted June 30, 2018 22 hours ago, Bob The Badger said: The whole thread there seems to be missing, so I'm diving in at my peril and forgive me if I have missed the point. We all need stress in our lives. In his seminal book 'Flow' Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi talks about peak performance and how it is achieved not through the absence of stress, but having just the right amount. Not that I'm saying being laid back is wrong per se, it definitely isn't, just that it rarely leads to high performance. Yes and the thing with anxiety after trauma as I found is that it can make you worry about everything, so don't drive, always fearing the worst will happen. Avoidance only feeds these irrational fears , better to tackle the fears head on if you can... Easier said than done of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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