Carnero Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 10 minutes ago, Steve How Hard? said: I'm no expert in this department but if she broke it in half then would she not then have two floaters? Right you are. I was assuming the offending item was just too long to manipulate it's heavy bulk around the u-bend. Silly me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1of4 Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 Just push it round the u-bend wash your hands, job done or job gone as the case may be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 Its not so strange....... I worked with a bloke once who reluctantly told us a story about when he was staying with his aunt and uncle, one morning one of them was in the bathroom and he was bursting for a s****. As there was only one bog, he decided to rush downstairs wearing only his underpants, go into the back garden, drop the pants, s**** behind a bush? Wipe his @rse on his underpants, and put them in the dustbin?? Only to find that the door had shut behind him and he was locked out. same bloke went for an interview ....with his equally wierd mrs waiting in the car. they arrive at the potential employers office which was a former big house with a garden. he went in for his interview leaving her sat in the car. He was ushered into a big room to be interviewed, with his potential new boss sat facing him in front of a big picture window providing a panoramic view of the garden behind. meanwhile his wife wants to go a pish but is too embarrassed to go to the reception and ask to use the loo? she was wired strange too. she decided to nip into the garden and go for a pish behind a bush?? whilst he is being interviewed facing his future boss, with a big view of the garden beyond.....he sees his mrs go running across the lawn and disappear behind a bush. Unfortunately she'd been spotted he continued to watch as the reception staff chased after her and dragged her out from behind the bush to find out what she was up to. all whilst he is trying to maintain a calm, confident demeanour same bloke again goes to an works do / xmas drinking session in a pub....in sheffield. gets bladdered decides to walk home because he's pished, and head for the very same aunt / uncles house decides to cut through some woods, trips in a drunken stupor, and ends up falling down a steep muddy bank. Later wakes up in bed fully clothed to find he's got dog s**** up all the inside of his jumper and all over the sheets Same bloke again buys a house with his mrs, and moves in, has never met the neighbours but wants to make a good impression. first day....decides to combine painting the attic bedroom with consuming a few celebratory bottles of red has had nothing to eat starts to get pished and feel sick. Ends up on the floor with the room spinning. Eventually rushes to the dormer window and sends - what according to his own account - was a truly magnificent stream of projectile vomit falling several stories to splatter away on the patio below. Looks out to see his new neighbours sitting on their adjoining patio looking up at him to see who just splattered them with puke. There was another wierd story too, buts so rude i can't even tell it... take a bow tony calcott. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteHorseRam Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 10 hours ago, Moist One said: he didn't actually tell the world, and he never named her. He set up a crowdfunding page to pay to repair the window. Read the story ffs! I think the geezer has been quite chivalrous about it! I have read/watched the story thanks. Setting up a crowdfunding page ... that will cool the story down. She must be curling up and dying. The nature of the internet is that it always flushes names out pretty fast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day Posted September 8, 2017 Author Share Posted September 8, 2017 7 hours ago, RamNut said: I worked with a bloke once who... Whenever I see opening lines like these I automatically believe they are talking about themselves. For that reason I will never look at your posts the same way again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1of4 Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 9 hours ago, RamNut said: Its not so strange....... I worked with a bloke once who reluctantly told us a story about when he was staying with his aunt and uncle, one morning one of them was in the bathroom and he was bursting for a s****. As there was only one bog, he decided to rush downstairs wearing only his underpants, go into the back garden, drop the pants, s**** behind a bush? Wipe his @rse on his underpants, and put them in the dustbin?? Only to find that the door had shut behind him and he was locked out. same bloke went for an interview ....with his equally wierd mrs waiting in the car. they arrive at the potential employers office which was a former big house with a garden. he went in for his interview leaving her sat in the car. He was ushered into a big room to be interviewed, with his potential new boss sat facing him in front of a big picture window providing a panoramic view of the garden behind. meanwhile his wife wants to go a pish but is too embarrassed to go to the reception and ask to use the loo? she was wired strange too. she decided to nip into the garden and go for a pish behind a bush?? whilst he is being interviewed facing his future boss, with a big view of the garden beyond.....he sees his mrs go running across the lawn and disappear behind a bush. Unfortunately she'd been spotted he continued to watch as the reception staff chased after her and dragged her out from behind the bush to find out what she was up to. all whilst he is trying to maintain a calm, confident demeanour same bloke again goes to an works do / xmas drinking session in a pub....in sheffield. gets bladdered decides to walk home because he's pished, and head for the very same aunt / uncles house decides to cut through some woods, trips in a drunken stupor, and ends up falling down a steep muddy bank. Later wakes up in bed fully clothed to find he's got dog s**** up all the inside of his jumper and all over the sheets Same bloke again buys a house with his mrs, and moves in, has never met the neighbours but wants to make a good impression. first day....decides to combine painting the attic bedroom with consuming a few celebratory bottles of red has had nothing to eat starts to get pished and feel sick. Ends up on the floor with the room spinning. Eventually rushes to the dormer window and sends - what according to his own account - was a truly magnificent stream of projectile vomit falling several stories to splatter away on the patio below. Looks out to see his new neighbours sitting on their adjoining patio looking up at him to see who just splattered them with puke. There was another wierd story too, buts so rude i can't even tell it... take a bow tony calcott. Hi RamNut or should I call you Tony? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarboroughwa Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Even a VIP... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WharfedaleRam Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Log in for the next instalment! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteHorseRam Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 On 08/09/2017 at 00:25, RamNut said: take a bow tony calcott. After the 5-0 win last night, I imagine in his excitement he loaded up on hard boiled eggs and sprout curry and found a police car bonnet to **** on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 12 hours ago, WharfedaleRam said: Log in for the next instalment! Alright....i'll tell you the other one because i thought it was funny. same bloke....whilst at college fancies this girl and is part of a group with her who are out for drinks. end of the night he offers to walk her safely home. She's not keen but he persists. Eventually she says ok they get to her place and he says he's a bit cold and wet and would it be possible to come in for a coffee. Again she's not keen and tries to persuade him against it but he persists she says ok but after that you'll have to go. in they go, he has his coffee and then he says that he thinks he's missed his last bus and its too far to walk and its raining. would it be ok if he stayed the night he says he'll just sleep on a chair She's not keen but again he persists. eventually she gives in and he gets the chair and a blanket. His starts his teeth chattering and groaning and tells her he's really cold and uncomfortable. Would it be ok if he slept on her bed? he'll just sleep on top of the covers. He won't get in.....but he's so uncomfortable. She's not keen and but he says there will be no funny business eventually she gives in and he gets on the bed Then....he bursts out laughing and just about manages to tell us that he ended up copulating with the young lady via her rectum But he can't remember her name so he says..... "i'll ring the wife. She'll know. Because we were all at college together" everyone says " don't be daft, she'll want to know why your talking about this girl and its bound to cause trouble". he won't listen and he phones her up. She wonders why he's phoning her from work. he says " who was that girl in our group...the arty one with the brown hair?"(or whatever) and everyone can hear his mrs screech.... YOU MEAN THE ONE YOU SHAGGED UP THE ARRSE!!! "no i didn't" he whimpers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve How Hard? Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 3 hours ago, RamNut said: he says " who was that girl in our group...the arsey one with the brown hair?"(or whatever) FTFY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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