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Message to the team


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1 hour ago, Penelope Pendrex said:

Paul Clement enters the room.

"What you reading, Bradley? Show me."

Johnson re-opens the laptop and shows his boss.

Paul Clement puts his hand to his chin. His eyes flicker with life.

"Bradley, he's right. He'd dead right. Get the others and get them in here. It's clear now - we have to stop 'faffing'."

Only after returning to his office for an afternoon cuppa did Paul suddenly pause in reaction... Had he just really seen one of his playing staff reading!! 

" Wow" gulped Paul inwardly... 

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25 minutes ago, StockholmRam said:

Probably when Mel's new best bum chums Boycie and Daveo arrive... 

Im not good at writing gay though... Utch?!! 

The fact that you know your ability level in that field suggests you've tried it before. How's the pay? 

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Team talk. Righto. here goes.

Now then lads go out there and do your damnedest. Get stuck in and and there's a slice of orange waiting for you at half time.try to pass the ball. See if you can maybe manage to have a shot, and if not, well, don't worry. There is still plenty of time and lots of games to go. Don't get anxious and ratty with each other. Try your best and if its not good enough, well then we might just have to accept it sometimes. Its probably no-ones fault. With the best will in the world it only takes the bounce of a ball, or a referees whistle , or a linesmans flag, or a slippery pitch. Anything can happen. Knock em dead eh.

incey. You're a big player for us. You've got a famous dad. Keep trying to put that ball on your own left foot. It will come off eventually. Even if it takes until the last minute of the last match before the coming of the next ice age. You can do it son. You can set yourself up for one of those shots of yours. Never mind the others. It only takes a second to score a goal and you're not wearing the flashy boots for nothing. 

Chris. You're a big lad. You never know it could go in off your backside. Thats all it takes. Remember bobby charlton? i bet he scored a few scruffy goals in his time. In off his @rse whilst he was waving a leg at it. They don't all have to be goal of the month son. Imagine you're shoving your way to the bar and its a minute to last orders. Get in there and you never know, the ball might actually arrive. We surprise ourselves sometimes.

Richard. You're a scary looking lad. Use that to our advantage. Instead of upsetting the mascot, get into their centre forwards mrs's face. Do that thing with your arms that makes it look like you're carrying the shopping. They'll not score if you're doing that and pulling a face. 

Right lads. Game on. Remember- a draw is not necessarily a bad result. It depends what others do.  

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8 minutes ago, RamNut said:

Team talk. Righto. here goes.

Now then lads go out there and do your damnedest. Get stuck in and and there's a slice of orange waiting for you at half time.try to pass the ball. See if you can maybe manage to have a shot, and if not, well, don't worry. There is still plenty of time and lots of games to go. Don't get anxious and ratty with each other. Try your best and if its not good enough, well then we might just have to accept it sometimes. Its probably no-ones fault. With the best will in the world it only takes the bounce of a ball, or a referees whistle , or a linesmans flag, or a slippery pitch. Anything can happen. Knock em dead eh.

incey. You're a big player for us. You've got a famous dad. Keep trying to put that ball on your own left foot. It will come off eventually. Even if it takes until the last minute of the last match before the coming of the next ice age. You can do it son. You can set yourself up for one of those shots of yours. Never mind the others. It only takes a second to score a goal and you're not wearing the flashy boots for nothing. 

Chris. You're a big lad. You never know it could go in off your backside. Thats all it takes. Remember bobby charlton? i bet he scored a few scruffy goals in his time. In off his @rse whilst he was waving a leg at it. They don't all have to be goal of the month son. Imagine you're shoving your way to the bar and its a minute to last orders. Get in there and you never know, the ball might actually arrive. We surprise ourselves sometimes.

Richard. You're a scary looking lad. Use that to our advantage. Instead of upsetting the mascot, get into their centre forwards mrs's face. Do that thing with your arms that makes it look like you're carrying the shopping. They'll not score if you're doing that and pulling a face. 

Right lads. Game on. Remember- a draw is not necessarily a bad result. It depends what others do.  

And Bradley... Remember lad it's County.. C O U N T Y

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less touches

pass faster

get forward and introduce yourselves to the opponents half. There's a bloke in there called Chris, he works for us. He doesn't bite and if you run past him then it doesn't mean Preston get a goal.

Sorted. Easy

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1 hour ago, RamNut said:

Team talk. Righto. here goes.

Now then lads go out there and do your damnedest. Get stuck in and and there's a slice of orange waiting for you at half time.try to pass the ball. See if you can maybe manage to have a shot, and if not, well, don't worry. There is still plenty of time and lots of games to go. Don't get anxious and ratty with each other. Try your best and if its not good enough, well then we might just have to accept it sometimes. Its probably no-ones fault. With the best will in the world it only takes the bounce of a ball, or a referees whistle , or a linesmans flag, or a slippery pitch. Anything can happen. Knock em dead eh.

incey. You're a big player for us. You've got a famous dad. Keep trying to put that ball on your own left foot. It will come off eventually. Even if it takes until the last minute of the last match before the coming of the next ice age. You can do it son. You can set yourself up for one of those shots of yours. Never mind the others. It only takes a second to score a goal and you're not wearing the flashy boots for nothing. 

Chris. You're a big lad. You never know it could go in off your backside. Thats all it takes. Remember bobby charlton? i bet he scored a few scruffy goals in his time. In off his @rse whilst he was waving a leg at it. They don't all have to be goal of the month son. Imagine you're shoving your way to the bar and its a minute to last orders. Get in there and you never know, the ball might actually arrive. We surprise ourselves sometimes.

Richard. You're a scary looking lad. Use that to our advantage. Instead of upsetting the mascot, get into their centre forwards mrs's face. Do that thing with your arms that makes it look like you're carrying the shopping. They'll not score if you're doing that and pulling a face. 

Right lads. Game on. Remember- a draw is not necessarily a bad result. It depends what others do.  

Jase?  It's called Football.  Clue's in the name, lad.

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1 hour ago, Alpha said:

less touches

pass faster

get forward and introduce yourselves to the opponents half. There's a bloke in there called Chris, he works for us. He doesn't bite and if you run past him then it doesn't mean Preston get a goal.

Sorted. Easy

...and don't forget to pick him up off the ground as you go past...

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