Coconut

We have absolutely no need to keep in touch with teams above us though, there are no prizes for finishing 19th rather than 21st! The only thing that matters is keeping the team in 22nd as far away from us as possible.

ANY points for a team below us is a disaster at this stage.

Huddersfield have the 2nd worst defensive record in the division. They've conceded 1.58 goals a game by with Keogh in defence, before they brought him in 17 games ago it was 1.46 Our defence has only conceded 1.14 goals per game across the whole season. Just saying.

There's a good reason he's known as Aiden McGreedy. (He isn't, I'm lying - he should be though)

Probably more like...

I miss those pointy things that used to get awarded to Derby County at the conclusion of a game of football.

I did really enjoy it when I had it the other week. Maybe it was just me being influenced by the spiel on the bottle but I did detect the slight chocolate note it describes. I've found a heck of a lot of the lesser renowned Belgian beers on BOE pretty disappointing tbh, but not that one.

I'm a Rooney Doubter but I'm not a Rooney Outer.

It was about as bad as I've ever seen. There weren't even any Derby players in view of the camera so duck knows who he was aiming for.

There could be one big useless reason for that..

Nah, what we be peak Derby, and peak EFL would be something like... This Alonso guy really is the real deal, his backers are genuine and have untold riches. The EFL though see some a small reason within their rules that they can disallow the takeover, it collapses & we go looking for another new buyer before ending up with an absolute walloper who despite passing all the tests (after all, the Sheikh did!) buys us and over the next couple of years proceeds to ruin us, sending us down to League 2. Meanwhile, 6 months after they refuse to sanction Alonso's takeover of Derby the EFL

What about if you take out points gained from CKR & Gregory's goals?

I think he'd have got more out of Bird, Sibley, Knight, Roberts & Jozwiak but I suppose the next question would be at what cost?

I almost think of this as a literal fact! I'm not actually convinced 'The Sheikh' is a real living person and that Mel ever actually spoke to him directly, but at least we know who this guy is and he's making himself accountable.

Selected for 27% of the time he's been available which is 18% of their total minutes in the championship, but yeah... 'regularly'