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Management speak


Phoenix

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Piece is a new one.

 

I work on projects and instead of 'keeping things consistent right throughout the project', we're now 'keeping things consistent right across the piece'.

 

Y'onabaat?

 

Breaking the project down into a series of sprints, silly, then applying consistency across that cycle. I bet you don't know your agile from your extreme - try asking your scrum master.

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Always liked the term project creep, like the Gantt chart was trying to shuffle out of the door unnoticed....

 

Scope creep is something that needs to be stamped upon.

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Breaking the project down into a series of sprints, silly, then applying consistency across that cycle. I bet you don't know your agile from your extreme - try asking your scrum master.

 

Trying 'wagile' at the moment - elements of waterfall combined with an agile approach.

 

What has this world become.

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Trying 'wagile' at the moment - elements of waterfall combined with an agile approach.

 

What has this world become.

 

At the end of the day, it's still a world. It's the people in it who need to find new ways of justifying their existence.

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At the end of the day

 

"End of play" is another office line I hear..."can you get this over to me for end of play?". ''I'd hate to know what these people do for fun.

 

If I had a quid every time my "coordinator" (HR Lacky) says "a will and a want" I'd be in Monaco right now.

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When I first moved from the labs into IT (and in those days we obviously couldn't spell because we called it DP), a term used for something that was 'work in progress' was "Ongoing development situation" (yes, it was an American organisation).

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I remember those days. You had to build an extension to house the monolithic computer, with £250K,s worth of air conditioning.

Punched cards and all that. We had a program (that's IBM for programme) called a random buzzword generator.

 

Basically there were 3 pools of words, the 1st two technical-sounding adjectives, the third, some technical sounding nouns.

The generator would pick one word from each pool.

 

'Ongoing development situation' would be a typical example. 'Electronic magnetic peripherals' might be another.

 

Having said that, one of the punch girls did have magnetic peripherals.

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