TobyWanKenobi Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 As some of you may know, I am a total saddo and love statistics, so I thought I would share some of the important stats about our current squad, and we can discuss the impact that this has on our league credentials. AGE. The average Derby County player is currently 24.47 years old. However this would change, should you include several of our youths who are yet to make an appearance (because I don't knwo their date of birth). A middle of the road age. Interestingly, the combined squad age is 782, which is older than many things, including the motor car, the jet engine and the United States of America. Our oldest player is Ben Davies at 32 years of age, who shares his date of birth with Turkish acting prodigy Özgür Çevik. Our youngest player to have registered an appearance is of course Mason Bennett, who shockingly was born of the day that Dana Hill died, who played Audrey Griswald in National Lampoons European Vacation. HEIGHT As Lee Grant joins, he becomes our joint tallest player, equaling the towering Adam Legzdins at 193cm, or 6 feet and 4 inches in old people language. Interestingly, if you were to clone an army of Grants and Legzdins, it would take 184,668,394 clones standing on each others heads to get to the moon, when at its shortest distance. The average player height is a respectable 183cm (6 feet) with our clubs shortie award going to little Jamie Ward at a hilarious 165cm (5 feet 5) inches, which would be considered tall, if he was from Bolivia, where the average height is 160cm. You would need just over 216 million Jamie Ward clones to reach the moon. APPEARANCES/GOALS The current player who has represented the club the most times is John Brayford, with 117 Rams appearances, with Shaun Barker close behind on 105, with a surprised Jeff Hendrick in 3rd place with 94 appearances. Our current leading goalscorer is Theo Robinson with 23 goals in a total of 83 appearances, with shortarse Jamie Ward close behind on 16 in 78 and Craig Bryson hitting 11 goals in 85 games. The average current Derby player has played 35 games for the Rams, and scored nearly 3 goals, making Conor Doyle feel terribly below average, but Jake Buxton more than double both of these numbers. A true club legend. I now invite you to share your important Derby County player statistics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoungUttoxRam Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 The only bit I acknowledged was " Jake Buxton more than double both of these numbers. A true club legend." Well said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheron85 Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 FACT: St Jake Buxton (The People's Champion) has recations so fast that if you were to fire a bowl of fruit at him with the speed of a bullet he would not only avoid it, but leave a lovely fresh fruit salad hitting the wall behind... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smyth_18 Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Jake Buxton is actually a human being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoungUttoxRam Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 FACT: St Jake Buxton (The People's Champion) has recations so fast that if you were to fire a bowl of fruit at him with the speed of a bullet he would not only avoid it, but leave a lovely fresh fruit salad hitting the wall behind...i heard, don't quote me on this it may be just a rumour, but he walked past 3 women 9 months ago by Greggs and all three have conceived a child today that look identical to Sir Jake. The man is god like, just not great at picking romantic scenes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheron85 Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 i heard, don't quote me on this it may be just a rumour, but he walked past 3 women 9 months ago by Greggs and all three have conceived a child today that look identical to Sir Jake. The man is god like, just not great at picking romantic scenes. See I heard that too... But that he'd walked past a Greggs in Derby and the women were in Burton... I've also heard he can turn water into Pedigree... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cannable Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 They say there's no longer life on Mars. Jake did that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheron85 Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Jake Buxton is actually a human being. That's just lies... St Bucko is either a super-advanced pan-dimensional being... or one of the X-men Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TobyWanKenobi Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Some say that he invented toast, and that he actually has three testicles. All we now is, he's called Jake Buxton. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCFCfranco Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Jake Buxton doesn't do push ups. He just pushes the earth down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuff264 Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 FACT: St Jake Buxton (The People's Champion) has recations so fast that if you were to fire a bowl of fruit at him with the speed of a bullet he would not only avoid it, but leave a lovely fresh fruit salad hitting the wall behind... Is he a Saint now? I thought he was just Sir Jake Buxton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheron85 Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Is he a Saint now? I thought he was just Sir Jake Buxton He was Sainted by the out-going Pope in a very low-key ceremony... They even brought Elvis out of retirement to sing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hans Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 When Buxton had surgery on his groin, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuff264 Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 He was Sainted by the out-going Pope in a very low-key ceremony... They even brought Elvis out of retirement to sing... Buxton Sainted the Pope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperSheep Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 God doesn't exist... Only bucko. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperSheep Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 P.s this should be renamed the off-topic thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCFCfranco Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Jake buxton can slam a revolving door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheron85 Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 P.s this should be renamed the off-topic thread. Bucko can make any thread relevant... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperSheep Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Might tweet bucko and see if I can persuade him to make an account. It would make my year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smyth_18 Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Jake Buxton actually invented water. Proof: Buxton water. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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