Ewe Ram

Just because you use upper high school words doesn't mean it's not rude, if used in a certain context. The same goes for she.
I take that stick out of my @rse and stick it up your nose.

Last night i drove to the airport to pick up friends returning from Spain.  i really like watching people reunited, the joy and love there for all to see, while blissfully unaware of anyone else around.  Brings a smile to face every time.

I'm happily married, early 40's & certainly no Brad Pitt but do try & look after myself.
I've never cheated and never will but I have to admit it does give me a spring in my step when I get checked out at the gym or out & about.

Tell them to get god to fix it. Should be able to do that in a micro second. If he/she/it exists.

UB40, whom I have seen before and they were good to be fair but I wouldn't keep my dog in that dump 

Crappy music venues. 
I went to a gig (or concert if you like) at Rock City and I have not seen anything on that level of disgusting in a while. The 'beer' was coloured water in a paper cup or a 2 pint bucket. The 'coke' was not like any kind of coke ever, it was the right colour but that was it. The floor was so sticky I couldn't pick my feet up (genuinely not exaggerating), the ladies toilets had only a couple with doors on and some charmer had cleared their throat spat it on the wall. Just gross! The sound quality sounded like listening to music from your next door neighbours. All for £30 a ticket. Ok not the most expensive but that venue needs bloody fumigation. It's not even kitsch or ironic, it's vile. 

You won't find pedigrees in a shelter, so it is unlikely the dogs there will be inbred. I understand about shedding for people with allergies, but otherwise I'd like to highlight a brilliant invention that has just been released.

It's pretty high tech so it might cost a bit.

Designer dogs. Cockerpoo, Labradoodle type things. I'm the kind of person that can't understand people travelling the width of the country to spend £800 on a pooch when there's so many in rescue centres. Dogs aren't ornaments and I'm sure they were once called mongrels. 

Designer dogs. Cockerpoo, Labradoodle type things. I'm the kind of person that can't understand people travelling the width of the country to spend £800 on a pooch when there's so many in rescue centres. Dogs aren't ornaments and I'm sure they were once called mongrels. 

Designer dogs. Cockerpoo, Labradoodle type things. I'm the kind of person that can't understand people travelling the width of the country to spend £800 on a pooch when there's so many in rescue centres. Dogs aren't ornaments and I'm sure they were once called mongrels. 

ahhh name dropping

People who think they are special because they know someone famous. 
I have a friend up north who refers to her ex as 'the rock star' (never heard of him), she knows someone from Geordie Shore (? Never watched that) and her friend knows Gazza. Now her cousin is in a boy band, God help us, her Facebook pic is of her with him and she moans how girls hate her. This is supposed to impress us? Jeez. 

People who think they are special because they know someone famous. 
I have a friend up north who refers to her ex as 'the rock star' (never heard of him), she knows someone from Geordie Shore (? Never watched that) and her friend knows Gazza. Now her cousin is in a boy band, God help us, her Facebook pic is of her with him and she moans how girls hate her. This is supposed to impress us? Jeez. 

I'd add to that people who are inconsolable when someone famous dies who they don't even know nor have never met. Bugs me.
Like when Princess Diana died. I understand that in her case she was well loved by many people but enough for hordes of folk to travel to London from all over the land and stay in hotels and stuff at great inconvenience and cost?
Give me a break. They just wanted to get on telly sobbing.
I find it almost inexplicable how the death of someone you don't know or have never met can bring on so much emotional outpouring. Talk about mass hysteria.

I agree. But I'm a pacifist and don't like confrontation 

you're waiting in a queue for ages and the women in front of you finally gets served and when it comes to pay they take 5 minutes trying to find the purse in the bag, then getting it out, then opening it up, then faffing with change, then counting it, then dropping some, then picking it up, then counting it again, then finally handing it over.
Having the money ready might be a good idea for the sanity of the rest of us.
 

That's useful thanks! I have been known to get a tissue and pretend to blow my nose. This morning a woman at the gym had obviously eaten 3 ton of garlic and I had to move treadmills 

That's useful thanks! I have been known to get a tissue and pretend to blow my nose. This morning a woman at the gym had obviously eaten 3 ton of garlic and I had to move treadmills 

Isn't that because people sit & drop bags on the end of the bed - and presumably then complain about dirty bedding?!.
On a related note: What is it with women and putting bloody cushions on the bed? Drives me insane at home. 

When your barber first offers to trim your eyebrows is another unwelcome sign.

Smelly people. Whether they're stinking you out with Lynx, cheap perfume, b.o or vile fag breath and reeking clothes they should be ashamed. Yes, I face the public and have to cover my face sometimes 

And while we are on that topic ... I like swear words but I loath misuse and overuse of swear words. 
if you hit your thumb with a hammer then an expletive is perfectly acceptable. At a distance in a stadium, away from kids  flinging an insult a a player isn't the end of the world either. But peppering every other word in a scentence with the F word is just crude and pointless. Using what should be powerful words for minor gripes is pretty pathetic too. (IMO of course )

I've noticed that listening to 5Live since I've had a car with DAB instead of crappy AM. You can pretty much hear their nose hair rustling now.

I've just thought of something that annoys me, the volume level on the TV.
Depending what we are watching we can have the volume as low as 20 or as high as 60 depending on how loud the TV channel decide to output the programme.  Surely it should work that you set a level of volume you need to comfortably hear the TV and that is the level of sound that comes out of the speakers?

Women and make up:
stupid crayon eye brows that make you do a double take, like wtf is that on your face? 
'Contouring'. What? You paint your face so it looks like you have cheekbones or a chiselled chin and no flab. I saw a girl at the match and from the front she looked like a model but from the side she looked like a hamster. It messed with my head. And she had the blackest thick eyebrows ever. Dumb. 
Pouty fat 'bee stung' lips. Eh? Who wants them? Drawn round the edge and plumped up like they'll pop. Makes me ashamed to be female with these air heads about. 
Oh and leggings with a short tshirt. Put it away, who wants to see what you had for your dinner.