Dealing with loss of a pet

[Alph]

22 hours ago, ramit said:

An hour ago our neighbor and his friend rang our doorbell to let me know that our cat Baldur had been hit by car just outside our house.  I rushed to him to find him still with no apparent injuries except for bleeding from the mouth.  I heard a short car beep maybe 10 minutes before the doorbell rang, I guess that was it.

My wife and I have just buried Baldur in our garden.  We are hurting. 

Baldur never got to experience a full life, but we take comfort in that he got lots of loving while with us, he was part of our family.  Our son is away at university, we will break the news to him after classes today.  He came home for the weekend, so at least he had some time with Baldur recently.

That’s horrible man. Sorry for your loss mate. I can’t say anything useful but hope your coping

[Nuwtfly]

33 minutes ago, Alph said:

Aww mate, it’s so hard isn’t it. 
 

The thing about a good owner/dog is that there’s nothing you can do to make them hate you. They’ll let you beat them if that’s the type of person you are. Their loyalty is beyond anything a human could offer. Mine has been a marriage counsellor, mental health professional and security guard. He wasn’t a mate I text every month or meet up for a beer every Christmas. He wasn’t angry with me after I left the hallway light on or grumpy because he had a bad say. When you’ve lost that kind of friend then I think you’re allowed to be broken. Don’t feel under pressure to get over it just because it’s an animal. Sulk! 
 

There’s also a weird pressure that I wonder if @IlsonDerbyfelt? That it’s wrong to “replace” a pet? 
It felt dirty when we did it after my previous dog. It’s like you feel you’re widowed and rushing straight into dating! I remember the vets surprised look when two months later we walked in with a puppy. But it was the best thing ever. As I said, he went on to be the very best dog. 
 

So maybe consider filling that hole with a new pet? Maybe not. It depends I think on how you feel. I felt desperate to replace my previous dog due to the emptiness. This time I don’t feel the urge at all since the emptiness feels like something to celebrate him. 

It seems it’s helped ilson focus on something positive and now he’s able to give a happy life to lovely cats. So maybe it will help you? Don’t let that weird guilt block you if it’s what you do want. Well, I don’t think you should.

I definitely know where yourself and @IlsonDerbyare coming from. I can’t deny that I have an urge to just fill that empty hole with another collie. 

But there’s also that sense of just feeling like I’d be replacing him and I can’t bring myself to do that right now. I think I need to get further away from the event. Because of the nature of how he passed away as well I feel like if I got a new puppy I’d just be a nervous wreck at the moment about something happening to them. Hopefully that anxiety will lessen a time goes by. 

We are so lucky to have them. I just wish I got to have mine for longer. We imagined having him until he was 14/15 and what it would be like when we had kids, how he would find it, etc. Now it just feels like the little family has been torn apart a bit. 

The worst bit for me at the moment too is that it’s made me feel just so apathetic for life at the moment. I just don’t care. Feel really really down and just not bothered about anything - which I know will just make the situation worse. 

I have found it comforting reading some of the stuff on here, though. If others can get through it hopefully I’ll be able to. 

 

[Day]

Like you @Nuwtfly, my dog Jax has been my shadow, whatever room I'm in he's in from a puppy, I worked from home at the time and he grew up with us side by side. Luckily (touch wood) he's still healthy although as he approaches 10 in human years next year, I've already started to try and mentally prepare myself for when the time comes he's no longer with me, I have 2 friends who have lost family dogs recently and I can see the hurt in their faces.

When that day comes it will hit me like a truck, I'm not sure how I will cope in all honesty/ The little fella brings so much happiness to the house with his personality, the loss will be felt for a long long time.

I can't offer any tips, advice or words of wisdom, only sympathy as I know how it must feel.

[Stive Pesley]

5 hours ago, Alph said:

Mine has been a marriage counsellor

If I tried this with our dog it'd just be "when she gets on the sofa...hump her leg! GO ON! HUMP IT!" 

Sorry - just trying to lighten the mood 😻