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The Poetry Thread


uttoxram75

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Poetry is for gays

I've always made it known.

The connection between words and sex

It's easier to use the phone.

Now stop it now, before you start

The feeling will come to pass.

Carry on, and in time to come, you'll find you like it up the .......Charlie had a pigeon a pigeon a pigeon!

Post of the week :D

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I don't believe

Christmas Eve,

I shopped and cooked 'til weary.

Finally,

my duty done,

went out and got all beery.

I made my peace with friend and foe

and wished them all the best,

now to bed to hope and dream

of sticking it up forest.

I know, i know, its donny first,

a game that won't be easy,

but I can't wait, to Billy bait,

that tw@t just makes me queasy.

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In response to David Cameron's New Year message:

uttoxram75's New Year Message

The NHS is about to be sold

Have we really forgotten the lessons of old.

Do you want your life in the hands of a tout?

whose purpose in life is to make profit from gout.

Spin doctors here and spin doctors there

but we'll sack real doctors for the price of a share.

When the big corporations control your GP

your first consultation will be at Lloyds TSB

If your accounts up to date and your reasonably wealthy

your privatised doctor will ensure you stay healthy

The men at the top say its the only way

that the treatment you get will depend on your pay

I'm not surprised, its no real mystery,

That people from Eton have no sense of history

So please cast your minds back to World War Two

and the thinking from which the Health service grew

It was built on the labour and blood of our men

who fought for us all and will do so again

they came home from war in the hope of a land

that belonged to us all - not a privileged band

they wanted a country to provide for their folk

after freeing us all from the tyrants yolk

The NHS has served us all well

so **** off Cameron, its not yours to sell.

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JANUARY QUESTION TIME

Transfer window, are we bear or bull?

Is the glass half empty, or is it half full?

Will Commons stay, will he sign a new deal?

Is Stephen Pearson the new Gary Teale?

Will Nigel rebel, chuck his toys out the pram,

Will we get new owners? Ask Portugal Ram,

What sort of player can we sign with no money?

The five-a-side king, Mr. Duracell Bunny!

Does Boycie reside in Daveo's house?

Is he a rent boy or maybe his spouse?

Answers are needed to the questions I ask

or I'll go to the West Stand with a rug and a flask

Never again will I leap to my feet

but grumble and boo and stay in my seat

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:-)

Will we sign Hoskins? Or Lambert, or Moore?

Will Portugal Ram break down dear Tom Glicks door?

And threaten with pitchforks and weapons galore,

To punch dear said Tom down to the floor,

If Nigels funds don't increase anymore,

From a loanee from Bolton and a free from Southport.

Sadly that is what we've come to expect?

Despite having funds and limited debt.

Will Commons stay or will he just go,

To Everton, Wolves, and anyone low,

In the Premiership who can afford a few quid,

Of Whom we are going to be outbid.

As Kris does deserve his shot at success,

And with us he will only be left with stress,

Of propping a team whom he has outgrown,

So when he moves on I for one will not moan.

So I look to flair, from several leagues,

Like Sunu from Arsenal and Snodgrass from Leeds,

The last one ambitious but it's worth a go,

As if you don't ask, we'll never know.

Paterson would be a late christmas gift,

As he's a striker who can easily shift,

From first gear to third in the drop of a hat,

And does naught to sixty in three seconds flat.

But none of this matters, I am not the one,

Who can affect anything, my impact is none.

So consider this the thoughts of a young, drunken fellow.

Whos liver i'm betting has slowly gone yellow.

But sod it, i'm happy, and drunk as can be,

Revelling in the madness that is DCFC.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Banning of wums...

In respect to the recent weeding out of some deadwood......not to mention to keep in good books with the mods :rolleyes:

in our forum home, in our forum home...

we speak utter ******, we talk mostly tosh

were not intellectual and not very posh

but we all love a team that ain't got no dosh

in our forum homes...

in our forum home, in our forum home...

we'll be civil to reddogs as long as they state

that they belong to a team that we all love to hate

if they come on as wums they'll be banned before eight

in our forum home...

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The Internet is full on wums.

I heard it said today.

You post your views upon a board,

and then get told you're gay.

Now the mods are here to keep the peace.

They delete, move, and edit.

They call us tw@ts, internet warriors,

and don't give us any credit.

Well here's some advice for members on here

Behave and tow the line.

Be nice, be friendly, be thick skinned

then you'll get on fine.

But call the Yanks or slag off Gadsby,

or even call Eastenders Tanya.

You'll wish you hadn't you feckin wums

because we'll feckin BAN YER!

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