Wolfie Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 It's the cars' fault. I've driven Rovers, VW's & Audis in the past and been quite normal, pootling around and being quite patient and courteous to ther drivers. Bought my first BMW last year and changed. The cars are just so bloody good and demand to be driven. A bit like getting on an unbroken horse and expecting it to saunter around the paddock. I'm going to be swapping mine early next year and can't see me going anywhere else but BMW again. Other makes are just all so average and numb to drive in comparison. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duracell Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 Audis are just as bad, and Range Rover Evoques, which seem to follow the same pattern. One thing I've learned about living in Nottingham is that the BMW drivers are extra special there. They drive white ones with black wheels and tinted windows. I wonder what those sorts do for a living? They seem to do some sort of special courier service for something, but I don't know what it is they sell. Maybe that will always be a mystery to me. And congratulations on the birth of Isla Signia, Alpha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 we've gone with Isla. She'd be called Daisy if we hadn't have got a dog that came with that name a few years back. What about Rover? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alph Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 If you think one two year old is naughty try twins , they could take Moskow . So when people say "two is no harder than one" to folks having twins... They're lying barstools? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ovis aries Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 Just speaking from my own experience , I have twin granddaughters ,they are now nearly four ,but from two onwards up to just lately they have been mustard, they just do what they want, kick up every time things don't go their way. You can forget naughty room or any of that modern ******, they just take it in their stride,they are impervious to it . my old gran would have thumped the s hit out of me, but that's not the thing nowadays. Don't get me wrong I love them to bits , but If I had any hair I would have pulled it out at times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladyram Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 This had to have some hidden message in it as I think I'll need BMW now... All those things to achieve but just can't with my Mondeo. Mondeos make great tanks yer know. Perfect for pulverising badgers with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alph Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 Mondeos make great tanks yer know. Perfect for pulverising badgers with. Doesn't Dav have thing for Badgers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i-Ram Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 Hi, just a few quick reminders for anyone who's recently purchased a BMW that you don't need to give way to anybody at junctions or roundabouts. Also due to the really low speed limits it's perfectly understandable if you want to really get right up tight to the car ahead. This will shave at least half a second off your journey and if there's a crash then hopefully the children passengers in the car ahead will cushion your blow and take most of the impact. Now for overtaking. If you feel that the car in front needs to know who's boss then remember you're perfectly within your rights to overtake. Anywhere at anytime. **** it, use some pavement. If you feel like you aren't able to drive like a complete tw@ then maybe you should look for work as a taxi driver and get in some valuable experience of being a **** before making the step up to a BMW. At the end of the day it takes a certain type of driver to get behind the wheel of such a machine and if you can adequately satisfy your wife or you don't have to sit down to piss then you may never be worthy. Stopping is for pussies!! Well you do need to speed up you soppy ****, driving at 15 miles hour in your Skoda estate, constantly looking over your left hand shoulder gurning away at objects in the back. Keep your bloody eyes on the road. And what's all these stickers on the back of your car - my little princess, baby on board, keep clear precious load. God sakes man, we've all had kids, but we don't need to go round advising everyone of our virility. And if the stickers weren't so fu&@ing small I wouldnt have to get so close to the back of your car to read the ******* stickers would I? You are a fu&@ing menace on the road mate. When you were giving your Mrs a bit of your virility, you would been better off retaking your driving test. Oh, and get some proper glasses. You can't see a thing out of those fake Raybans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladyram Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 Doesn't Dav have thing for Badgers? Oh he loves them dearly, he does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alph Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 It's the cars' fault. I've driven Rovers, VW's & Audis in the past and been quite normal, pootling around and being quite patient and courteous to ther drivers. Bought my first BMW last year and changed. The cars are just so bloody good and demand to be driven. A bit like getting on an unbroken horse and expecting it to saunter around the paddock. I'm going to be swapping mine early next year and can't see me going anywhere else but BMW again. Other makes are just all so average and numb to drive in comparison. Burn him! Ban him! At least change his avatar to a picture of massive penis!! Please tell me you don't park in the parent and child parking bays at supermarkets?! You do, don't you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladyram Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 In the dictionary, readers, under 'roadrage' it says 'see iram'. Do try not to get too carried away.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alph Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 Well you do need to speed up you soppy ****, driving at 15 miles hour in your Skoda estate, constantly looking over your left hand shoulder gurning away at objects in the back. Keep your bloody eyes on the road. And what's all these stickers on the back of your car - my little princess, baby on board, keep clear precious load. God sakes man, we've all had kids, but we don't need to go round advising everyone of our virility. And if the stickers weren't so fu&@ing small I wouldnt have to get so close to the back of your car to read the ******* stickers would I? You are a fu&@ing menace on the road mate. When you were giving your Mrs a bit of your virility, you would been better off retaking your driving test. Oh, and get some proper glasses. You can't see a thing out of those fake Raybans. I would absolutely love it to rain on your next holiday. You know every time you overtake anybody or even when they just see you in the rear view? You're being called many vile names. You can't stop us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i-Ram Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 In the dictionary, readers, under 'roadrage' it says 'see iram'. Do try not to get too carried away.. In the dictionary, readers, under 'LadyRam' it says a Ram naturally with all the attributes of a Ewe except for the plumbing. A true LadyRam does not need surgery or makeup to look like a Ewe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mafiabob Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 Congrats Alpha! Don't worry I've got a couple of lads going great guns at football.... I maybe able to get the Derby County wonder kid.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alph Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 Congrats Alpha! Don't worry I've got a couple of lads going great guns at football.... I maybe able to get the Derby County wonder kid.... Thanks man Either a German speaking CB? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Contain Nuts Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 Can anyone help solve the mystery of people who drive around with their fog lights on ALL YEAR ROUND. Do they think it looks impressive? Have they forgotten to turn them off? Or do some cars simply force you to keep your lights on all the time? ps, even though there's a valid reason to have xenon headlights, any time I see a car with them on it immediately makes me think the driver must be a ********, whatever the car. I also think you must be wrong in the head to drive a Smart car, and Minis are stupid too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mafiabob Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 Thanks man Either a German speaking CB? Ones a cultured defensive midfielder..... The younger one is just a thuggish Centre half.... Neither German.... But have Greek ancestry.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alph Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 Can anyone help solve the mystery of people who drive around with their fog lights on ALL YEAR ROUND. Do they think it looks impressive? Have they forgotten to turn them off? Or do some cars simply force you to keep your lights on all the time? ps, even though there's a valid reason to have xenon headlights, any time I see a car with them on it immediately makes me think the driver must be a ********, whatever the car. I also think you must be wrong in the head to drive a Smart car, and Minis are stupid too. Ah the Mini. I'm either a girl or a gay guy. The world is too bright so I need sunglasses 24/7. My car smells of fake tan and I'll take a iced skinny flavoured latte please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alph Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 Ones a cultured defensive midfielder..... The younger one is just a thuggish Centre half.... Neither German.... But have Greek ancestry.... Ok, we need to make sure the older one is getting to as many Derby games as possible. If I was you I'd just drop the other one off at West Ham and see how it goes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mafiabob Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 Ok, we need to make sure the older one is getting to as many Derby games as possible. If I was you I'd just drop the other one off at West Ham and see how it goes Both already ST holders.... I would hazard a guess at the youngest being banned first.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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