ketteringram Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Those counselling sessions were a blessing and it lifted such a weight off my shoulders, really opened my eyes to who I am and who I think I should be. Counselling is astonishing stuff. I owe everything to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
froggg Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 All this disclosure on an open forum is superb, this is the only way to bring mental health into the main stream, normalise it by talking about it and accepting it's a part of life like any other illness, there is no shame in having a cold so why should it apply to disease of the mind. If you are depressed seek help....... it's out there. Live every day as though it matters. Enjoy life....... that's why we're here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SillyBilly Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Not sure if it was depression but my early and mid 20's were a blur of darkness. Think it was a combination of a mundane low paid job, lonliness in a place I knew nobody and a feeling of being left behind everybody else (friends getting married, having children etc.). However, looking back it was probably what a lot of people in their 20's experience, that transition from being young carefree towards having all these expectations to meet and bills to pay. I think we all have phases where we are "stuck in a rut", sometimes these periods drag on for years, I don't know if it was depression but, good gracious, I have sympathy with anybody who enters that frame of mind or worse. Don't look back with any fondess that is for sure. I never went to my GP or told a soul nor would I discuss it without anonymity, I guess that is the shame with these things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perky1106 Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Not sure if it was depression but my early and mid 20's were a blur of darkness. Think it was a combination of a mundane low paid job, lonliness in a place I knew nobody and a feeling of being left behind everybody else (friends getting married, having children etc.). However, looking back it was probably what a lot of people in their 20's experience, that transition from being young carefree towards having all these expectations to meet and bills to pay. I think we all have phases where we are "stuck in a rut", sometimes these periods drag on for years, I don't know if it was depression but, good gracious, I have sympathy with anybody who enters that frame of mind or worse. Don't look back with any fondess that is for sure. I never went to my GP or told a soul nor would I discuss it without anonymity, I guess that is the shame with these things. Thank you for sharing this as it's very reassuring. I'm 24 and going through this at the moment. Having to look after myself and pay my own way is something I've really struggled with and the mundane job I was in triggered a lot of anxiety. Hopefully it is something that will pass like it did for yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i-Ram Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 All this disclosure on an open forum is superb, this is the only way to bring mental health into the main stream, normalise it by talking about it and accepting it's a part of life like any other illness, there is no shame in having a cold so why should it apply to disease of the mind. If you are depressed seek help....... it's out there. Live every day as though it matters. Enjoy life....... that's why we're here. I agree with all the positivity on this thread, and my only observation on this post is just to challenge the word disease. The brain is an organ, just like the heart, the liver, etc. etc. You would assume that every sensible individual on this forum would consult a doctor or specialist if they had a life threatening heart or liver complaint. But when the brain is not functioning properly, and when you think about it a lot can potentially go wrong with this "miraculously complex" organ, isn't it surprising how many don't seek treatment or indeed medication to achieve a fix? Having a counsellor is great, although for that to really work you have to be open an honest with them as to what is causing the trauma, anxiety and/or depression. And whilst I am not a big advocate of tablets in this "Valium Age" for many (including myself) one small pill a day is enough to effect a chemical change in the brain that ensures that the "happy juices" are flowing again. To be honest my doctor doesn't think the strength of the pill I am taking now is of any need or benefit, but even if it is just a placebo benefit I am pleased that I have pulled myself away from the anxieties I experienced for a number of years. Look after your brain, and your brain will look after you. Tell your true friends and your true friends will look after you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SillyBilly Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Thank you for sharing this as it's very reassuring. I'm 24 and going through this at the moment. Having to look after myself and pay my own way is something I've really struggled with and the mundane job I was in triggered a lot of anxiety. Hopefully it is something that will pass like it did for yourself. No worries - I was done for DD at 23 which started a period of close to 2 years of hell. I used to get up at 5am in the morning and get back at 8.30pm (horrific local public transport) in a job I hated and what is more, I knew I had to be thankful for it. I shudder looking back. I had nothing to look forward to and had given up to some extent. And this was supposedly, as I was told, intended to be "the best years of my life". Glad to say it wasn't. Things turned around though, perhaps more by luck than invention. Funny how life changes. I'm not much into this inspirational quote BS but the Steve Jobs quote strikes a chord with me - "you can't connect the dots moving forward, you can only connect them looking backwards". I take that to mean, all those **** jobs, lonely days etc. weren't wasted but actually were your "hard yards" for your better life. That was my 20's. Best of luck in the future chap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mafiabob Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 This is a truly amazing thread.... Helping me no end. Thankyou guys and gals x Andy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RLACML Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Do you think that it's more of a problem in Britain than elsewhere? What with the whole 'stiff upper lip' culture and all. No idea on statistics, but was just interested to see what some of you thought Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badlands Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Do you think that it's more of a problem in Britain than elsewhere? What with the whole 'stiff upper lip' culture and all. No idea on statistics, but was just interested to see what some of you thought Western society in general i'd say. There seems to huge pressure on people to live a perfect life. Perfect job, perfect partner, perfect looks, perfect clothes, perfect car, this list goes on. Thus if you suffer from elements of perfectionism ( which i do to a extent ) then it can constantly feel like your under achieving, which can fuel periods of depression. I've just got out of a particularly bad few months, bought on by a combination of bad news, being treated poorly by people i thought much better of, and finishing uni / the feeling of already being stuck in a job i hate. All of this on top of underlying self esteem issues and you've got a perfect recipe for a **** time. Fortunately, whilst arguably still considered a taboo subject, there's loads of help out there. I didn't go to the doctors but have found these two books extremely helpful in recent weeks; http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Chimp-Paradox-Management-Confidence/dp/009193558X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1408300887&sr=8-1&keywords=the+chimp+paradox http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Low-Self-Esteem-Melanie-Fennell/dp/1849010684/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1408300932&sr=8-1&keywords=self+esteem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cisse Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 Do you think that it's more of a problem in Britain than elsewhere? What with the whole 'stiff upper lip' culture and all. No idea on statistics, but was just interested to see what some of you thought It's not only Britain. And actually it's espicially the people with this lip attitude that most often gets sick with depression. I've done it myself. Twice. When I first time went to the doctor he said that I was suffering from extreme stress and one of the causes was that I wouldn't ask any help and wasn't ready to accept any if offered. He said that his office was full of people like me. He said that if I didn't change my attitude I would probaply end up back at some time. Guess what, he was right. As the doc asked about my family background he said that since our family has a lot of people who suffers from migraine it was probable that I could suffer from the lack of Serotonin in my brain. Which has proved to be the case. The second time I did end up to this doc I accepted the help for that and have been feeling better for the last year. I'm done with the whole stiff upper lip. I hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mafiabob Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Do you think that it's more of a problem in Britain than elsewhere? What with the whole 'stiff upper lip' culture and all. No idea on statistics, but was just interested to see what some of you thought Yes I do, as there's still plenty of people think that if you have money, all the talent and luck in the world you shouldn't be depressed or have it bad etc. I did a bit of searching on various forums and social media sites and quite frankly, there's a load of peoples minds you will never change. Also people who get airtime on certain radio shows and TV spots who like to court controversy don't seem to help. Don't mind people having a differing opinion on this subject, but I don't like it when they just dismiss it as irrelevant and just troll to get a reaction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McRamFan Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Amazing thread, I am sure people will find this very supportive. Thanks to all that shared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cisse Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 Amazing thread, I am sure people will find this very supportive. Thanks to all that shared. Just wait until the puns start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McRamFan Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Just wait until the puns start. Comedy is a good medicine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GboroRam Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Comedy is a good medicine But not as good as actual medicine, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cisse Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 Comedy is a good medicine Laughing is excellent for people. Creates endorphines for your body. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McRamFan Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 But not as good as actual medicine, I guess. Studies say that a good old belly laugh can do you some good, its having some serious research money put into it, albeit in the USA. http://www.helpguide.org/life/humor_laughter_health.htm A friend of mine that lives in Chicago was given the suggestion to go to a comedy club as he had mild depression, he said it helped, and avoided the drugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perky1106 Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 No worries - I was done for DD at 23 which started a period of close to 2 years of hell. I used to get up at 5am in the morning and get back at 8.30pm (horrific local public transport) in a job I hated and what is more, I knew I had to be thankful for it. I shudder looking back. I had nothing to look forward to and had given up to some extent. And this was supposedly, as I was told, intended to be "the best years of my life". Glad to say it wasn't. Things turned around though, perhaps more by luck than invention. Funny how life changes. I'm not much into this inspirational quote BS but the Steve Jobs quote strikes a chord with me - "you can't connect the dots moving forward, you can only connect them looking backwards". I take that to mean, all those **** jobs, lonely days etc. weren't wasted but actually were your "hard yards" for your better life. That was my 20's. Best of luck in the future chap. Thanks again. I came very close to a D&D when I went out on an absolute bender, also at age 23. I was found passed out in the middle of town but luckily the Police took me to a drunk tank rather than throwing me into a cell at St. Mary's Wharf and giving me a charge. I felt held by the ******** at my current job because I had been unemployed for six months before and was worried it would be the best thing I'd ever get despite my employer treating me poorly and making me work unsociable shifts. I made the brave decision of quitting because it just got much. However I have a house and bills to pay for which has put me in a **** load of debt. My own fault yes but I still think it's better than sticking with that job where I felt psychologically imprisoned. I start a new job on Tuesday. It's gonna be tough paying back what I owe but I guess things can only get better. Thank goodness for football and Stevie Mac's return. Seeing Derby return to the top has kept me going to some extent. Blogging has also helped as has going for long walks into nature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BondJovi Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 There seems to huge pressure on people to live a perfect life. Perfect job, perfect partner, perfect looks, perfect clothes, perfect car, this list goes on. Thus if you suffer from elements of perfectionism ( which i do to a extent ) then it can constantly feel like your under achieving, which can fuel periods of depression. That I feel is a major issue. Almost as though as instead of building a life of being comfortable in your own skin, there is some perfect life you have to aspire to. My counsellor reckoned I had an air of perfectionism, in a way that I would not put myself forward for the fear of being wrong, the fear of my choice not being the correct one, putting me off trying hard because I was always disappointed with what I had achieved. I have had to try and relearn that it is ok to make mistakes, that it is ok to get it wrong. That has nothing to do with parental pressure in my case, it was all ideas I put on myself. Even on this board, I sometimes find myself holding in an opinion for fear of it being picked apart. It is madness but there is no way I could ever be happy if I kept believing that way, it is a work in progress. I would never have considered myself a perfectionist beforehand, but it makes sense to me now. It is important to talk! Important for me so I do not slip back into default mode. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cisse Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 Voice your opinions BondJovi. And others too. Half the fun is to notice that others are wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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