jono

and I bet they are young, have tattoos and can't read a map. The youth of today .. disgraceful not even knowing basic supermarket etiquette ! .. what do they teach in schools today tsk tsk.  Of course I blame the ( enter per gripe group here )

and I bet they are young, have tattoos and can't read a map. The youth of today .. disgraceful not even knowing basic supermarket etiquette ! .. what do they teach in schools today tsk tsk.  Of course I blame the ( enter per gripe group here )

Ignorant wankshafts that don't put the Next Customer wedge on the belt once they've loaded up their shopping!  Even worse if they watch you do it then don't thank you for it...  CU***!!!

But we are being very reasonable about it 

Oh come on Tony .. We all know if you buy a diamond black Frankfurter XLS .. You will also get a chizzled jaw, 6 pack, amazing bombshell girlfriend, a fat wallet that fills itself and a pair of Ray-bans. It worked for me.

I've got a spare push bike in my shed if your stuck ? But it's got gears and things ( and two flat tyres ) 

I've just thought of something that annoys me, the volume level on the TV.
Depending what we are watching we can have the volume as low as 20 or as high as 60 depending on how loud the TV channel decide to output the programme.  Surely it should work that you set a level of volume you need to comfortably hear the TV and that is the level of sound that comes out of the speakers?

It is virtually impossible for refs .. I remember seeing a clip of Wright Phillips seemingly taking a huge theatrical dive but an analysis showed he was at full speed, a defender stepped in his path but pulled out at the last milli second. Sean had already taken avoiding action and fell at full tilt. There was no contact but it looked like he dived when in reality he fell over when running at 10 10ths .. Not cheating, just physics .. But those that do it knowingly really get my goat. Yes exaggerate to make sure the ref saw it .. Fair doos .. But doesn't matter what shirt you are wearing I loath cheating. Somewhere on my profile there's a Corinthian reference. That's me .. Fair play but how do you combat the cheats when everyone is at it to a greater or lesser extent. 

Just to add that I hate the hypocrisy amongst most footy fans with regards cheating. Timewasting is an example. Derby do it I'm sure when they are winning with time running out yet fans aren't screaming at their own players for cheating. Opponent does it and all hell breaks loose. Many more examples.
Cheating is part of the game now and every team does it. Sometimes you'll benefit and sometimes not. Can see your point though jono. IMO a player who goes down claiming he's been assaulted and clutching his face should be sent off. It is not only cheating but shows a lack of respect for another human being and if it were me being accused then I'd go for litigation immediately.
Just like if someone had accused me of a crime I hadn't done and been proved. I'd have the liar in court. Same in the football cheating incidents claiming they've been assaulted and its proven on replays they are making it up.

On holiday, watching the people who work near the entrances to bars and clubs and their fake friendships with holiday makers. Hugs, high-fives, fist bumps. It sickens me.

A football one 
gamesmanship is kind of ok .. The nudge by a savvy defender versus the striker making sure the ref sees he was fouled. Even Franny Lee style rolling the extra yard to get the pen instead of a free kick. There is a give and take or do as you would be done by. Not pretty, not clever, I don't like it but it's part of competative sport I suppose and we can have a wry grin 
No what really really gets me is .. Ok you fell over theatrically, got the free kick but then you start clutching your face to get your opponent booked or sent off ... No no no ... There are lines that shouldn't be crossed .. Ever. 

I am banned from Waitrose for talking to the cakes

What are you going to do if we get a Waitrose in Derby ? It'll be just too much to handle 

To be fair I am like that when I visit Lidl

Spot on - people who are famous for being famous.
The people on those late Friday night comedy panel comedy shows, anyone on 'I'm a celeb get me out of here' type stuff. The judges on the X Factor/Britain's got Talent who are obliged to force out tears when someone comes in with the sob story. The offspring of genuinely famous sports people/chefs etc who are creatures of twitter.
The good news being that they all end up in the minor celeb graveyard - shopping channel at 2am.
I suppose these people have always existed but social media/the internet has given them a loud hailer, like people with nutty political views.

Celeb magazines .. With all the Christian name descriptions on the front page  "Kyle and Joanne's big bust up . The inside story"
Eh ? ..... Who are they ? What do they actually do ? 
do I care ? 
And then someone actually makes a living writing about them !!!!!!  ? 
Farce .. Pure farce 

Celeb magazines .. With all the Christian name descriptions on the front page  "Kyle and Joanne's big bust up . The inside story"
Eh ? ..... Who are they ? What do they actually do ? 
do I care ? 
And then someone actually makes a living writing about them !!!!!!  ? 
Farce .. Pure farce 

Dog owners who go off to work and are either oblivious to the fact or don't care that their pet spends most of the day barking and howling. No joke if you work nights or retired and at home during the day. I also feel so sorry for the dog.

Stating the obvious labels like the can of Mackerel I had this morning warning me that the said can I was about to open contained fish.
Bags of cashews that say may contain nuts!
I'm not making light of food intolerances but bleedin' nora!

The 'convenient' flaps on a sealed pack of, for example, ham that's supposed to make it easier to open that simply snap off.  Do any of them work, ever???

Why do teeth have to have nerves? Why can't they just be stuck in like lego bricks and when they crack it won't  friggin' hurt like hell!!

Swallows and Amazons 8/10
Took my mum as it seemed the best bet for someone 70+ at the cinema. Absolutely superb film structure and writing .Back to a different time. Don't think I read the books. Thought I might be bored, but in fact it was excellent and compelling from start to finish.
And an example that parents should let their kids go off and play so they can actually grow up, rather than not letting them out of their sight for the first 18 years.

Oh good .. This is on my list. I am a complete 100% sucker for B movie super sci fi.
i loved the original for all its corny lines .. When the pilots girl meets the presidents wife
.. "Dancer ? What sort ? ballet ?" ... "No, Exotic"
.. Then when they launch the alien craft "I got to get me one of these"
.. "Welcome to earth !" 
Lol 

Oh good .. This is on my list. I am a complete 100% sucker for B movie super sci fi.
i loved the original for all its corny lines .. When the pilots girl meets the presidents wife
.. "Dancer ? What sort ? ballet ?" ... "No, Exotic"
.. Then when they launch the alien craft "I got to get me one of these"
.. "Welcome to earth !" 
Lol 

Is that the one with all the Penguins in?