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This weekend the top 6 teams in we are told, "the best league in the world", mustered 11 shots on target in the 4 games they were involved in; and several of those were so tame they barely count as shots.

410 minutes of football, 37 minutes between shots on target. No wonder crowds down,are booing and leaving early!

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Football will continue to become more boring the longer it is played.

There are only so many ways to score a goal, and at the highest level where managers have more in common with Field Marshalls than they do the noble gaffers of yore, and players become so elite they make less mistakes than a T-1000, they'll soon run out of new ways to score.

Every game will be nil-nil, unless the hand of VAR intervenes, the match deciding decisions handed over to the Twitterati to vote live on Sky Sports 9, the jar containing the preserved head of Jeff Stelling announcing that an eighth day of the week has been created to show live wall to wall coverage of all the nil nils throughout the Leagues of a United People's Europe.

TV packages will be created and sold to the fat, sweating masses, marketed as comedic alternatives to Mrs Brown's Boys offering them the chance to relive the heady days of Stockport 4-5 Bury in the Freight Rover Trophy 2nd round. "Look at that defending" they'll sneer, "If only the number 6 had stood 3 inches to the right, he'd have blocked that shot, gee they don't make TV like this anymore" they'll say. And all this for the low low price of ₩9.99 per month on top of your existing €24.99 paid directly to Mike Ashley's Sports World Network.

Hard to believe people used to actually cheer for a goal they'll say with the same disbelief as they have now when you tell them keepers used to pick up a back pass. Did they not realise they were celebrating something that only happened because a player made a mistake. Isn't it so much better now that we have eliminated 95% of errors from the Top Flight, and those 5% were only ones caused by the re-animated corpse of Richard Keogh made.

"What was the XG stats of that last game?" "0.006 for both sides - excellent, really shows how the game has improved from the days when there were regular 8-2 thrashings and end to end 5-5's".

Guardiola Jnr will have pioneered the art of the 7 man defence.

This is the way the world ends.


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@JoetheRam, that post is wasted tucked away in here. You should write for a living  - if you don't already.

I hate it when the ex-football player commentators on sky (who were presumably not the best as I have never heard of most of them) come out with "should have done better with that" when a quality striker just misses or a defender fails to intercept said striker's shot.

Frank has been talking about negativity this week and it's the example we are set by all sports commentators. It's boring and I hate it. But there are a lot of young listeners who hear it and copy it. You hear them all the while at Derby games. 

Then there's the grumpy old gits who compare every player to those we had in the 70s - who were, admittedly pretty damn good.  There's no wonder our fans are so hard to please! 

Football changes so quickly. Those same top teams this thread was about scored a shed-load of goals midweek.  No wonder we have record crowds, cheering and people demanding more! 

Funny game, football.

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