Gritstone Ram Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 Why wait ages to see a doctor when you can self diagnose online? I should have died at least 4 times. You look up a head ache and end up with heart disease. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladyram Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 You look up a head ache and end up with heart disease. That or the Bubonic plague ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 Well I have penile dysfunction. I only went on with a watery eye? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCFCfranco Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 http://www.reactionface.info/sites/default/files/images/1311948270220 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uttoxram75 Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Our Health service has now gone down the route of Switzerland with Dignitas type assisted suicide establishments. There's one near me called Stafford Hospital............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bcnram Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Our Health service has now gone down the route of Switzerland with Dignitas type assisted suicide establishments. There's one near me called Stafford Hospital............ By suicide you would think that it would be at the patients request. At Stafford Hospital I don't think the patients had a say in their premature demise 'http://www.dcfcfans.co.uk/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':(' /> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Every time i go to the docs they tell me that i can't see my doctor - he's probably dead - but i can see some other numpty. Last time i went, the doc was a young fat bird straight out of college who asked me if i suffered from hay fever. I said, no....i've had allergy testing and i can categorically state that i don't suffer from hay fever. She gave me a prescription in the time honoured fashion to signal that yer time is up. What was it? Yes ......a £7 remedy for hay fever. One of the doctors i saw before that had me spellbound. Her arrrse was so big that i reckon it needed planning permission. It was like one of those big wide loads that close two lanes of the motorway and needs a police escort. I couldn't help thinking about it for years afterwards. I half expected Norris McWhirter to appear with a copy of the Guinness book of records. Then of course there was the time my father was in hospital for an ulcer. A young doctor took me mother aside and confided to her that he had bad news, apparently me Dad had total kidney failure. Next day she asked another doctor about it and he said ' who told you that? his kidneys are fine....mind you he has got cancer'. Cancer? he was told he had a cyst? Easy mistake to make i suppose. Kidneys, cancer, cyst, hay fever, big fat aarrse, .....whatever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rams71 Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Im off to the quacks today anyway i rang up and the bint on the phone says who is your doctor? i replied i dont know cos ive not been here for 10 years she said ok come down at 11:50 Probably get some witch doctor or someone whos watched a few episodes of Diagnosis Murder or Quincey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derbydan Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 My doctor is ok (french tho) but the nurse i usually see is beautiful! Illusion was ruined the other night tho saw her in Asda with her boyfriend 'http://www.dcfcfans.co.uk/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':rolleyes:' /> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrivateDerby Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Our Health service has now gone down the route of Switzerland with Dignitas type assisted suicide establishments. There's one near me called Stafford Hospital............ Good job mines North Staffs, it's much better... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrivateDerby Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Does anyone else refuse to tell the receptionist anything when she shouts "I can't give you an appointment unless you tell me what it is" I know they have to prioritise but i think she's just a nosey cow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gritstone Ram Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Im off to the quacks today anyway i rang up and the bint on the phone says who is your doctor? i replied i dont know cos ive not been here for 10 years she said ok come down at 11:50 Probably get some witch doctor or someone whos watched a few episodes of Diagnosis Murder or Quincey Careful who you're calling a bint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uttoxram75 Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Does anyone else refuse to tell the receptionist anything when she shouts "I can't give you an appointment unless you tell me what it is" I know they have to prioritise but i think she's just a nosey cow. They have no right to do that at the STD Clinic...... 'http://www.dcfcfans.co.uk/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ph34r' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':ph34r:' /> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrivateDerby Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 They have no right to do that at the STD Clinic...... 'http://www.dcfcfans.co.uk/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ph34r' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':ph34r:' /> Exactly, next time I'm just gonna describe the symptoms in detail, that'll teach her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Does anyone else refuse to tell the receptionist anything when she shouts "I can't give you an appointment unless you tell me what it is" I know they have to prioritise but i think she's just a nosey cow. Just tell her you have begun to hear voices and have an irrational desire to kill women...... It might work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrivateDerby Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Bloody hell RamNut haven't you seen the verbal abuse of NHS staff posters? They'll put me away mate, I only wanted my dissolvable stitches out because they didn't do what they're supposed to do... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Bloody hell RamNut haven't you seen the verbal abuse of NHS staff posters? They'll put me away mate, I only wanted my dissolvable stitches out because they didn't do what they're supposed to do... Its not abusive.....works for me anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddie Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 My wife's got a non doctor. I wonder whether that's where Kraftwerk got their inspiration for the naming of the wonderful 'Man-Machine' album Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rams71 Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 Might as well put a leech on it for all the good she was Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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