Boycie's Dilemma

[uttoxram75]

OH you Flithy Swine!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dutch_oven_(practical_joke)

Deserves a c & p (for those too idle to visit the link............)

A dutch oven is a fart chamber (a contained area of flatus) created by pulling a blanket over someone's head and breaking wind. The phrase is a slang description based on the cooking action of a Dutch oven where food is cooked and steamed inside a closed chamber. Performing a Dutch oven creates an area of foul-odored air in an enclosed space that must be inhaled.[1] This is done as a prank or by accident to one's sleeping partner.[2][3]

A related concept is that of the dutch wind, which does not involve creating a closed chamber over the head, but instead concentrating the fragrance under the covers and then allowing the concentrated scent to waft past one’s sleeping partner’s nostrils. The concentration creates an olfactory intensity akin to that which would occur with anal-nasal proximity, with no opportunity for the aroma to be diluted by air.

Did'nt fully understand the science behind the Dutch wind but it defo looks worth a try....

[Alph]

"The connection between relationships and performing a Dutch oven has been discussed in newspaper advice columns[4][5] and in advice books.[6]"

Slow day for the Daily Mail perhaps?

[Boycie]

used to know a lad who'd fart in bed, then spit up in the air, his missus would pull the duvet up as cover, then get the full force of the Guff.

Could be an urban myth though.

[uttoxram75]

used to know a lad who'd fart in bed, then spit up in the air, his missus would pull the duvet up as cover, then get the full force of the Guff.

Could be an urban myth though.

They'll have a laugh telling their grandkids that tale at their 50th wedding anniversary party..............:eek:

[froggg]

used to know a lad who'd fart in bed, then spit up in the air, his missus would pull the duvet up as cover, then get the full force of the Guff.

Could be an urban myth though.

disgusting:D

[RamNut]

the problem with farts is the realisation that the very molecules of the smell currently residing inside my nasal cavity were actually inside someone else's rectum only two seconds hence.

[froggg]

the problem with farts is the realisation that the very molecules of the smell currently residing inside my nasal cavity were actually inside someone else's rectum only two seconds hence.

kinell it gets even more disgusting:eek:

[Boycie]

Holding your index finger horizontally under your nose filters all bad odours away from your respiratory system.

[RamNut]

Holding your index finger horizontally under your nose filters all bad odours away from your respiratory system.

but then you eat it?

[ladyram]

I'm sick of farts.

I have to put up with Dav letting rip and burying my head under the duvet. While he falls about with mirth, I slowly die.

I may have to beat him (but knowing him, he'd enjoy that)

[Boycie]

Beat him with louder more violent farts you mean?

That's the ticket!

[ladyram]

I can't Boyce, I don't do farting, I'm a lady you see!

[Boycie]

Ladies can produce double the amount of farts, if you know what I mean.

'specially on the way to the bathroom.