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The great Conor Sammon debate...


Albert

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Oh c'mon. "alopecia totalis"? Pfft

I would however like to apologise to RamNut. Mr RamNut, for my poor grammar in response to his excellent questions. "Cus your near" is no way to respond to someone who is clearly intelligent and in all probability handsome.

I apologise for my 'street talk'. Maybe growing up an orphan effected me.

One of the Orphans was you?....... 'http://www.dcfcfans.co.uk/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ph34r' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':ph34r:' />

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Oliver Twist like orphan!! ffs.

This thread is becoming a pi55 take. What started off as a serious discussion has now become rather childish. I'm much too mature for this thread. Like RamNut. We're intellectuals innit.

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answers....ok these are the answers based on research, prejudice and knowledge gained from sniffing things.

question 1

why is conor sammons bald?

is it because he is solar powered ? er.....no

is it because he has alopecia? er.......no

i expect that its because he's a fish.

hair is associated with mammals, the same as breasts and obesity.

whereas he's a fish......therefore we can confidently predict that he has no breasts either.

question 2

has he/she always been bald?

yes? no?

well...the problem here is that conor sammons appear quite suddenly in the fossil record with few clues as to what they may have evolved from.

The first known example was discovered in Kilmarnock by scouts looking in small ponds.

It had a triangular shaped mouth and was very stripey.

Later on, another example was discovered in Wigan.

It had the same mouth parts but didn't have the stripes, leading to speculation that the Scottish specimen was a juvenile with some sort of camouflage or protective markings.

Some suggest that these modern specimens are evolved from an earlier armoured version which had external bony plates and spikey bits. These features were probably lost as the animal evolved to move faster and shed its outer casing.

It gradually came to rely on speed and grimmacing for success rather than the heavy armour which was shed as it grew anyway.

So answer..... no

smoothy baldness is most likely a modern feature of this animal.

question 3

would he play better with a thatch.

well In the 70s and 80s a decent barnett would be a definite advantage as the game was slower.

Some of the best players were extremely hairy e.g. George Best, Carlos Valderrama or Graham Paddon.

Derek Hales was very hairy but absolutely shiit, so its no guarantee.

However a decent thatch might also help in attracting a mate....like a big mane or fancy plumage.

I expect he will have to develop an alternative strategy such as collecting bright shiny things or drawing all over his left arm.

question 4

is he a closet ginger?

what d'you mean ginger?

a ginger beer?

you likely to get a belting if you ask him that

question 5

why do birds suddenly appear? everytime you are near?

well....they think they are going to get fed don't they. like chickens or vultures.

birds also like to get touch tight at corners, set plays and during migration.

sometimes they wander about as if not interested....pecking the ground....and then they make a sudden dash for the near post.

don't be fooled by them.

final scores.....Alpha Signia 1 Mary Hinge 1

looks like extra time and penalties for you two.

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