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I'm gobsmacked


Cisse

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I ran into a friend of mine today. He told me that our mutual friend had taken an overdose of drugs and alcohol and died. None of us even knew he used drugs or drank much.

He worked a lot, had a family (they knew of his problems), was always nice to people and helped them a lot and boom he is no more.

How can you totally fool everyone for years?

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PistoldPete2
1 hour ago, Cisse said:

I ran into a friend of mine today. He told me that our mutual friend had taken an overdose of drugs and alcohol and died. None of us even knew he used drugs or drank much.

He worked a lot, had a family (they knew of his problems), was always nice to people and helped them a lot and boom he is no more.

How can you totally fool everyone for years?

Sorry to hear this Cisse. Sometimes even the family are unaware of the problems, but even if they are its very difficult to know what to do to stop it happening.  

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Mate, unfortunately and sadly it’s all too common. People can give off saying they are ok, only to do what they do..... it’s so hard, but if you don’t know what they are going through, and they don’t say.... you can’t help..... it really is so sad 

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It happens.

My first 'proper' job (I had one beforehand that lasted 3 weeks which ended when I was sacked for being a know-it-all pillock) was as a replacement for someone known henceforth as 'Suicide Sid'. Now that's what you call dead man's shoes. The company was a pharmaceutical research facility and he basically took some stuff home with him out of the 'poisons cupboard' and ended it there and then.

Nobody had any inkling that anything was troubling him. I never knew the guy, and I can honestly say that I had never given him a moment's thought over the last 45 years or so - until I read this thread.

If it hadn't been for Sid, my life would have been totally different now. I wouldn't have moved into research (because the opening wouldn't have been there), I probably wouldn't have moved into IT (I cut my data processing teeth writing applications for the lab using a Commodore PET) and I certainly wouldn't have married the Memsahib (I met her working at the company) or had the kids I have and all the troubles and rewards they bring.

Sid indirectly made me what I am. Blame him.

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I read that suicide is the #1 killer of men under 45?

You can have a good day. Things go well at work, you've had a laugh, no traffic on the way home... a good day

But when you're left alone with the monster in your head it can rapidly decline. 

I've always found it's when I've been alone that you come under attack. Smiling and waving through every day life isn't even fake. Its genuine.

Sometimes your mind doesn't switch off though and as soon as you're available to get your arse kicked it's there. 

I think the solution is support as much as possible but if you don't reach out then nobody will know. And if nobody knows you feel even more alone in that dark place.

Sorry for your loss Cisse. 

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When I was younger one of the lads that played football for our team took his own life.  He was clever, popular and everyone liked him ( he was a pretry good footballer too!) 

Turned out he was a diagnosed schizophrenic but none of us knew. Neither the family or he wanted to talk about it. 

It's so important to keep asking how people are and to be there to listen if the answer isn't a good one. 

 

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