r4derby

Be present. Loving your child in the early stages is being there for cuddles, feeds, reading stories, singing songs, interacting on play mat etc. seeing the smile of your baby is amazing, every time. As they get older, be firm but fair. Don’t be quick to set ultimatums, but do follow through when you do. I remember my 3 year olds meltdown in Matlock about a piece of pear. Didn’t eat it, no ice cream. She cried for hours but I held firm. Next trip to Matlock she demanded pear first so she could get an ice cream (I didn’t take any!) she learnt the lesson. As I say though, try and stay away from ultimatums and extreme language. Hard when you’re tired and stressed! Your child will become who they are over time. By being with them every step of the way, they’ll hold you close and want you there. Congratulations mate

@GboroRam to be honest, loving and treating a little baby as your own for an amount of time is one of the biggest pleasures. That little boy will always be with me, same as the little one with us now. @David you’re already doing enough, based on the way you’ve communicated. Taking those 2 on and treating them as a father figure is so essential. Not everyone can do that. Well done for all you and your partner have done and will continue to do. There may well be grief at the end of the placement, whenever that is and however it happens. Do I regret doing it though? Not one bit

Yeah, had that a few days ago when in a foster carer had their 50th placement. Well done them, but it’s no more important than the carer who’s had 1 placement for a longer period of time.

@David such a fascinating read. Thanks for sharing your thoughts (especially the frustrations) My wife and I (and our 2 birth children) have fostered since the first lockdown. Some highs and some lows. One from birth to 18 months. He was amazing, but then he was ours for a year and a half. The ending was best for him, as he’s now in his ‘forever home’. However, if I’m being honest, it was also one of the hardest situations I’ve been in. The grief is real. I grieved the son I had lost, even though he wasn’t technically mine. It’s lovely seeing pics of him now, happy and healthy. We have another baby now. They’re doing equally well, but I can already feel myself attaching. It’s so tough, as you treat them like they’re yours. The meetings, forms and logs are all done by my wife (she’s the main carer, I’m a teacher) contact 3 times a week too! Right ball ache some weeks, especially the travel. It’s tough, fostering. Some very stressful times. As @sage says, the adults are the trickiest part. But my heart has got a couple more names in it. I am father to 2 children, but really it’s more than that.

Derby 1-1 Lincoln FRGS Mendez-Laing

Spirited (Apple TV) a favourite of my wife’s last year, got Apple TV just to watch this Christmas film again. It’s very good. Fun take on the musical and Christmas genres, whilst also having some heart. Jokes work well. I could we it becoming one of my regular December watches around Christmas time. Shame I have to get a streaming service to watch it (and can’t just buy the physical medium) Bisgaard/10 (fun to watch but didn’t realise it was also pretty good)

Orient 1-1 Derby FRGS Bird

Derby 2-1 Fleetwood FRGS Sibley

Derby have certainly gone on runs of good form in the late Autumn/early Winter in the past. It’s been noted by some managers successful of promotion in the past that a side need at least 2 good runs of form in a season to give themselves the best chance at going up. One is around the time we do it, the other run should be March onwards as the season starts to wrap up. That’s where our issues have been recently. I’d like to think our good run currently can carry on into the new year, but it will be important that this team pick up form again in the Spring

Derby 1-1 Bristol Rovers FRGS Barkhuizen

Derby 1-2 Barnsley FRGS Barkhuizen