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Get a really high paid job


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Are you a sociopathic, misanthropic, idiot hated and despised by everybody and completely unemployable. Then why not become a select group referee for £75,00 a year.

Applicants must never have played football at any level, and have no knowledge or interest about it.

Being fat and unfit are not necessary, but are an advantage. Special consideration given to bald people, in fact no one with a full head of hair will be considered.

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