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brave man jokes


derbydan

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Your dog and your wife, how do you know which one is your best friend?

Try locking both of them in the car boot. Come back after an hour and let them out then see which one's happy to see you.

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Little Jonny asks his father "Dad, why do brides wear white?" The father replies, "Son, all kitchen appliances come in white."

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A Jimmy Carr selection:

My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian...

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My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty."

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My girlfriend sat me down the other day for a chat. I say 'chat', it was her talking at me for six hours. I didn't realise that when men say they're 'spoken for' that's actually what they mean. She said "Jimmy, our relationship is at a crossroads. Down one road is struggle and hardship, but eventually, happiness. The other, well, that's a dead end." So I replied, "That's not a crossroads, that's a T-Junction"

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A big girl once came up to me after a show and said "I think you're fatist." I said "No, no. I think you're fattest."

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Originally posted by JoeMadRam;5047

A Jimmy Carr selection:

My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian...

-

My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty."

-

My girlfriend sat me down the other day for a chat. I say 'chat', it was her talking at me for six hours. I didn't realise that when men say they're 'spoken for' that's actually what they mean. She said "Jimmy, our relationship is at a crossroads. Down one road is struggle and hardship, but eventually, happiness. The other, well, that's a dead end." So I replied, "That's not a crossroads, that's a T-Junction"

-

A big girl once came up to me after a show and said "I think you're fatist." I said "No, no. I think you're fattest."

just quality

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