LesterRam Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Today DCFC would like to introduce a new member of staff, in conjunction with the Samaritans, we would like to introduce Burt... Burt will be available for all Derby City fans before, during and after all games so we really work on our problems that arise from being a Derby City fan, we shall be covering these topics during our sessions: Week 1. Booooooo reduction, this increases blood pressure, anxiety and depression and requires remedial action so is covered in the first week. Week 2. Manager bonding* session, we hug our new manager until we are satisfied that he or her is 100% committed to our cause, blood from said manager will be required (maximum 3 pints, otherwise a blood infusion will be required and a defib) please note: Outside Burt's remit to administer defib. Week 3. Strip Naked, our manager should strip naked to prove he has no marks of the devil, Forest tattoos or religious symbols supporting one religion (football is religion). Week 4. Tactical Awareness: we as fans are 100% tactically aware, each selection should be debated before a panel of 29k, each "X Factor" type device shall be located under your chosen seat at the IPro, "A" Yes, "B" No and "C" instant dismissal are the options on these devices, Please Note: we are working on a short, sharp electric shock treatment for players underperforming and this will be "D" on your panel. Week 5. Our Final Analysis: Burt will sit us down individually and ascertain if we are really the worst fecking load of moaning bathroom stewards in this division or not. Bonding* isn't bondage and should be treated as such Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintRam Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 The **** is this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big-andy Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 26 minutes ago, LesterRam said: Today DCFC would like to introduce a new member of staff, in conjunction with the Samaritans, we would like to introduce Burt... Burt will be available for all Derby City fans before, during and after all games so we really work on our problems that arise from being a Derby City fan, we shall be covering these topics during our sessions: Derby City ??????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LesterRam Posted August 10, 2016 Author Share Posted August 10, 2016 15 minutes ago, big-andy said: Derby City ??????? yeah apparently the terms and conditions of Bradley Johnson's signing was we renamed the club, didn't nobody tell you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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