Guest Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 I was just passing Moor Farm when I happened to spy our Nige. He was clubbing a few of the academy players for various alleged misdemeanours so I took the opportunity to pop in and ask him a few questions about life at Derby County and management in general. RamNut : Nigel....fantastic to meet you. Put the weapon down slowly and let’s have a sensible chat. Now....ten years at Burton, two years at Derby ....how are you taking to management....Which aspects of the job do you most enjoy? Nigel: Err ..... well there’s the training....the coaching.....putting the boot in.......the violence....the intimidation.....we tell ‘em fings and if they don’t get it then we.....errrrrr...nail their heads to the floor....or use electric shock.....or I might just take them to one side - all friendly like - and explain that I’m not best pleased ....and although I don’t want them to get hurt...err... unfortunately sometimes it’s necessary. I’m as upset as them....but errrr.... I suppose I most enjoy using the tazer.....that’s really good. We‘ve got the latest technology here. These players don’t realise how lucky they are......we have to explain that to them very slowly. RamNut : People have said....you’ve been a bit unfair on a few players Nigel : Unfair ? Errrr we are very fair.....hard ...but fair.....they all get treated exactly the same...with absolute contempt....like dogs.....I like to get them together and tell ‘em they’re all equally ****.... Poxey Moxey.... Ladyboy Leacock ...that polish pillock....then we get the cattle prongs out and we try to educate them. RamNut : you’ve been unlucky with injuries to players.... Nigel : yes well they errr....they do injure easily,......we’ve found that out...Anderson hasn’t played since we nailed him to the floor....Buxton....he’s still on crutches.....Steve Davies....well ....they’re still finding bits of him ...and there’s some players even we can’t find. I dunno......I dunno where we left ‘em. RamNut : I hear you want to bring in a couple of new players.... on loan? Nigel : yes well errrr.....the players we inherited were no good...errrr.....and then the players we signed were no good.....errrr....and now this lot are ***** too ....we’ve been literally tens of miles looking for new players.....We’ve been to Nottingham, Leicester....we might even have to go as far as Sheffield. RamNut : Well good luck for the rest of the season..... And with that he launched himself at me....twisted my hand behind my back, kneed me in the b-llocks, and nutted me. Great bloke though. Just like his Dad.....apparently I’d stepped onto the pitch. Oooops won’t do that again. Link to comment https://dcfcfans.uk/topic/5493-focus-on-rams-boss-nigel-cough/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
zippy Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Wha... hahahahahahahaha... Brilliant:D:D Link to comment https://dcfcfans.uk/topic/5493-focus-on-rams-boss-nigel-cough/#findComment-133220 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex W Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Better Quality. Link to comment https://dcfcfans.uk/topic/5493-focus-on-rams-boss-nigel-cough/#findComment-133221 Share on other sites More sharing options...
uttoxram75 Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 rubbish RamNut.....I preferred the ones you made up:eek: Link to comment https://dcfcfans.uk/topic/5493-focus-on-rams-boss-nigel-cough/#findComment-133222 Share on other sites More sharing options...
froggg Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 funny as fook....:eek: Link to comment https://dcfcfans.uk/topic/5493-focus-on-rams-boss-nigel-cough/#findComment-133223 Share on other sites More sharing options...
uttoxram75 Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 I was just passing Moor Farm when I happened to spy our Nige. He was clubbing a few of the academy players for various alleged misdemeanours so I took the opportunity to pop in and ask him a few questions about life at Derby County and management in general. RamNut : Nigel....fantastic to meet you. Put the weapon down slowly and let’s have a sensible chat. Now....ten years at Burton, two years at Derby ....how are you taking to management....Which aspects of the job do you most enjoy? Nigel: Err ..... well there’s the training....the coaching.....putting the boot in.......the violence....the intimidation.....we tell ‘em fings and if they don’t get it then we.....errrrrr...nail their heads to the floor....or use electric shock.....or I might just take them to one side - all friendly like - and explain that I’m not best pleased ....and although I don’t want them to get hurt...err... unfortunately sometimes it’s necessary. I’m as upset as them....but errrr.... I suppose I most enjoy using the tazer.....that’s really good. We‘ve got the latest technology here. These players don’t realise how lucky they are......we have to explain that to them very slowly. RamNut : People have said....you’ve been a bit unfair on a few players Nigel : Unfair ? Errrr we are very fair.....hard ...but fair.....they all get treated exactly the same...with absolute contempt....like dogs.....I like to get them together and tell ‘em they’re all equally ****.... Poxey Moxey.... Ladyboy Leacock ...that polish pillock....then we get the cattle prongs out and we try to educate them. RamNut : you’ve been unlucky with injuries to players.... Nigel : yes well they errr....they do injure easily,......we’ve found that out...Anderson hasn’t played since we nailed him to the floor....Buxton....he’s still on crutches.....Steve Davies....well ....they’re still finding bits of him ...and there’s some players even we can’t find. I dunno......I dunno where we left ‘em. RamNut : I hear you want to bring in a couple of new players.... on loan? Nigel : yes well errrr.....the players we inherited were no good...errrr.....and then the players we signed were no good.....errrr....and now this lot are ***** too ....we’ve been literally tens of miles looking for new players.....We’ve been to Nottingham, Leicester....we might even have to go as far as Sheffield. RamNut : Well good luck for the rest of the season..... And with that he launched himself at me....twisted my hand behind my back, kneed me in the b-llocks, and nutted me. Great bloke though. Just like his Dad.....apparently I’d stepped onto the pitch. Oooops won’t do that again. perhaps he could ask these two to help with his "motivational" talks...well, perhaps not at PP but Moor Farm should be ok! http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-12391946 Link to comment https://dcfcfans.uk/topic/5493-focus-on-rams-boss-nigel-cough/#findComment-133224 Share on other sites More sharing options...
martin Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Great stuff again mate, looking forward to these carrying on into the future! Link to comment https://dcfcfans.uk/topic/5493-focus-on-rams-boss-nigel-cough/#findComment-133225 Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorksopRam Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Really doesn't do it for me at all, I didn't even smile. But well done for doing them anyway. Link to comment https://dcfcfans.uk/topic/5493-focus-on-rams-boss-nigel-cough/#findComment-133226 Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcfcdavecov Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Really doesn't do it for me at all, I didn't even smile. But well done for doing them anyway. That made me laugh.... ps. im not stalking you. Link to comment https://dcfcfans.uk/topic/5493-focus-on-rams-boss-nigel-cough/#findComment-133227 Share on other sites More sharing options...
SillyBilly Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Really doesn't do it for me at all, I didn't even smile. But well done for doing them anyway. I swear you say that on every one of these "FOCUS" threads. We know now so you don't have to comment on the next one. Keep it up RamNut, best one yet. First line had me laughing out loud. Link to comment https://dcfcfans.uk/topic/5493-focus-on-rams-boss-nigel-cough/#findComment-133228 Share on other sites More sharing options...
footymadme Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 pity I was just passing Moor Farm when I happened to spy our Nige. He was clubbing a few of the academy players for various alleged misdemeanours so I took the opportunity to pop in and ask him a few questions about life at Derby County and management in general. RamNut : Nigel....fantastic to meet you. Put the weapon down slowly and let’s have a sensible chat. Now....ten years at Burton, two years at Derby ....how are you taking to management....Which aspects of the job do you most enjoy? Nigel: Err ..... well there’s the training....the coaching.....putting the boot in.......the violence....the intimidation.....we tell ‘em fings and if they don’t get it then we.....errrrrr...nail their heads to the floor....or use electric shock.....or I might just take them to one side - all friendly like - and explain that I’m not best pleased ....and although I don’t want them to get hurt...err... unfortunately sometimes it’s necessary. I’m as upset as them....but errrr.... I suppose I most enjoy using the tazer.....that’s really good. We‘ve got the latest technology here. These players don’t realise how lucky they are......we have to explain that to them very slowly. RamNut : People have said....you’ve been a bit unfair on a few players Nigel : Unfair ? Errrr we are very fair.....hard ...but fair.....they all get treated exactly the same...with absolute contempt....like dogs.....I like to get them together and tell ‘em they’re all equally ****.... Poxey Moxey.... Ladyboy Leacock ...that polish pillock....then we get the cattle prongs out and we try to educate them. RamNut : you’ve been unlucky with injuries to players.... Nigel : yes well they errr....they do injure easily,......we’ve found that out...Anderson hasn’t played since we nailed him to the floor....Buxton....he’s still on crutches.....Steve Davies....well ....they’re still finding bits of him ...and there’s some players even we can’t find. I dunno......I dunno where we left ‘em. RamNut : I hear you want to bring in a couple of new players.... on loan? Nigel : yes well errrr.....the players we inherited were no good...errrr.....and then the players we signed were no good.....errrr....and now this lot are ***** too ....we’ve been literally tens of miles looking for new players.....We’ve been to Nottingham, Leicester....we might even have to go as far as Sheffield. RamNut : Well good luck for the rest of the season..... And with that he launched himself at me....twisted my hand behind my back, kneed me in the b-llocks, and nutted me. Great bloke though. Just like his Dad.....apparently I’d stepped onto the pitch. Oooops won’t do that again. you have nothing better to do....... strange when " so called supporters " can take the p out of they're own club like that , you have to Question the mentality of it :mad: now , if it was aimed at the poisened dwarf ...well , i might have a big grin on my face as he , particularly at the moment is getting on my tits... Link to comment https://dcfcfans.uk/topic/5493-focus-on-rams-boss-nigel-cough/#findComment-133229 Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastKentRam Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Liked this one Link to comment https://dcfcfans.uk/topic/5493-focus-on-rams-boss-nigel-cough/#findComment-133230 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roofio Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 You tried writing for BBC3? Link to comment https://dcfcfans.uk/topic/5493-focus-on-rams-boss-nigel-cough/#findComment-133231 Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorksopRam Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 I swear you say that on every one of these "FOCUS" threads. We know now so you don't have to comment on the next one. Keep it up RamNut, best one yet. First line had me laughing out loud. Steady on, this is only the third. He's a big boy, I'm sure he'll be alright. But thanks for the concern. Link to comment https://dcfcfans.uk/topic/5493-focus-on-rams-boss-nigel-cough/#findComment-133232 Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 You tried writing for BBC3? I wouldn't have a clue how to get into that. It would be fun though. Link to comment https://dcfcfans.uk/topic/5493-focus-on-rams-boss-nigel-cough/#findComment-133233 Share on other sites More sharing options...
EdinburghRam Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 You tried writing for BBC3? is that a compliment or criticism? Link to comment https://dcfcfans.uk/topic/5493-focus-on-rams-boss-nigel-cough/#findComment-133234 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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