Sliding doors

[dog]

What crucial time in your life would you go back to and what advice would you give your younger self?

[i-Ram]

1 hour ago, dog said:

What crucial time in your life would you go back to and what advice would you give your younger self?

Birth.
As I came whistling down the the vaginal freeway I should have vowed to discover a lot, lot more vaginal freeways than I actually did.

[ilkleyram]

1 hour ago, dog said:

What crucial time in your life would you go back to and what advice would you give your younger self?

First marriage. Run.

[Bob The Badger]

2 hours ago, dog said:

What crucial time in your life would you go back to and what advice would you give your younger self?

I'd go back 5 minutes and tell myself not to respond to this post because I'm knackered and need to go to sleep. 

I'd be asleep now if i had. What a tragic waste. 

[ramit]

It's better to become at peace with all the mistakes, the frequent stupidity, the bad choices, the missed opportunities, the embarrassing cringe worthy moments than regret any of it, for it has made you who you are today.

I realize that may be a terrible thing to say, but there you are, it's still the better option.

[Ram-Alf]

September 1974, I caught a local youth in a compromising situation with my girlfriend, A smack in the mouth for him and a break up ensued with her, He set the local bully on me and 4 times on separate occasions I got smacked for my troubles.

The next time I was going to be hit was in my local, He came in with 3 mates and warned if I was still there by the time he came back a beating was on the cards, I was shaking like a sh!tting dog, What do I do stay and get slapped or leg it home, I stayed, A couple of hours later they came in, A finger pointed at me as a warning, I got up with my empty pint pot and launched it on his head.

He was out like a light, I legged it to Newcastle scared stiff, I rang home...the police were there, I was told he's in a Coma but not life threatening(he passed away in his late 50s I was told), Please give yourself up...I did, Court case ensued in March 75 and I was sent to North Sea Camp a detention centre, A change in life that was never expected.

You learn things about life/yourself in there, 1st thing is defend yourself...in the next bed to me was a big youth his name is Neil Malpass a boxer(look him up on Youtube)he taught me a thing or 2...I won 2 and lost 1 fight, Still have a broken nose and a chipped tooth to remind myself from 50 years ago from the loss 😉

I came out an angry man but a fitter man, I took up fighting at football matches and in town, Met a girl, We got married I was 19 she was 18, 1st Child came along 6 months later😁 in 1976

I often wonder what my life would have turned out like if I hadn't seen what I saw in 1974.

Oh and the youth I smacked that started it all off in 1974, He's now with my Ex Wife...you couldn't make this sh!t up ☺️

 

[Crewton]

I've had a few sliding doors moments where, if I'd done something different, or someone else had done something different, I might not be here to tell the tale. 

As for changing past decisions to bring a potentially better outcome, I wouldn't change anything on a personal level because things have turned out well enough, though perhaps some of the nights of excess could have been skipped from a health pov.

[Tyler Durden]

This should really be on the Depression, Anxiety thread but the worst thing anyone can do is continually ruminate on events, potential poor decisions in their lives, it will consume you. I know this from self experience. 

[Stive Pesley]

At 18 I was in a relationship with a girl who I'd known since we were at school, and we split up when I was 24 because she fancied playing the field a bit more and was worried that if we stayed together she'd have only ever had one boyfriend!

6 months later I was in a new relationship and suddenly the ex has a bout of severe regret and begged me to get back together. I vividly remember being sat in her car and having to decide. Chose to stick with the new girlfriend.

A year later I was a dad !

A year after that the new girlfriend ran off with another bloke and left me as a single dad...

Easily the lowest point of my life and I was so full of despair that I'd made the wrong decision in the car that night (the original ex-girlfriend had long moved on by now). Some dark times and a lot of meaningless awful and very  brief relationships ensued.

4 years later though I met someone else that changed everything and we've now been together over 20 years with another child and now a dog too. 

I wouldn't be where I am now if I hadn't been through all that, so the advice is obvious. Even the worst things that happen  to you are a catalyst for the good things that lie ahead. Never look back with regret, just learn from your mistakes and move on

 

 

[silverback]

Life has many watershed moments, these determine paths taken and resultant flashbacks.

You make your choice based on the known facts at that time, I never look back and think "what if," that is the road to madness.

You choose, you move on, and you keep moving forward, even if you fall flat on your face, you need to get up and keep going.

You learn from all experiences good or bad but don't let them define your life, become their master and build a solid life you can look back on with some pride, knowing that what ever choices life has given you, you have coped.

[Eddie]

The decisions I made in the past, whether right or wrong at the time, are the reason I am who I am today.

I did type a load of regrets, excuses and what ifs - but then deleted them. Changing something in the past invariably leads to changes in the future, and I'm happy - or at least comfortable - being who I am.

[ariotofmyown]

My grandad's drive was on a slope and my aunty have driven down to visit. I was a baby and had just finally gone to sleep in my pram, when for some reason, my mom decided to take me back out of pram and wake me up. A few moments after this, the handbrake on my aunt's car failed, and the car rolled down the slope, smashing my pram into the garage door into bits.

[Stive Pesley]

11 hours ago, ariotofmyown said:

My grandad's drive was on a slope and my aunty have driven down to visit. I was a baby and had just finally gone to sleep in my pram, when for some reason, my mom decided to take me back out of pram and wake me up. A few moments after this, the handbrake on my aunt's car failed, and the car rolled down the slope, smashing my pram into the garage door into bits.

Blimey - we could do a whole new thread on near death experiences!

[Alph]

There’s so many regrets and mistakes for me that it’s bloody depressing to think back on which ones to start with. 

[Mucker1884]

13 hours ago, ariotofmyown said:

My grandad's drive was on a slope and my aunty have driven down to visit. I was a baby and had just finally gone to sleep in my pram, when for some reason, my mom decided to take me back out of pram and wake me up. A few moments after this, the handbrake on my aunt's car failed, and the car rolled down the slope, smashing my pram into the garage door into bits.

No mate.  You need the garage door thread.  This is the sliding door thread.

Jeez!  🙄

[Ghost of Clough]

On 22/09/2024 at 10:41, Ram-Alf said:

September 1974, I caught a local youth in a compromising situation with my girlfriend, A smack in the mouth for him and a break up ensued with her, He set the local bully on me and 4 times on separate occasions I got smacked for my troubles.

The next time I was going to be hit was in my local, He came in with 3 mates and warned if I was still there by the time he came back a beating was on the cards, I was shaking like a sh!tting dog, What do I do stay and get slapped or leg it home, I stayed, A couple of hours later they came in, A finger pointed at me as a warning, I got up with my empty pint pot and launched it on his head.

He was out like a light, I legged it to Newcastle scared stiff, I rang home...the police were there, I was told he's in a Coma but not life threatening(he passed away in his late 50s I was told), Please give yourself up...I did, Court case ensued in March 75 and I was sent to North Sea Camp a detention centre, A change in life that was never expected.

You learn things about life/yourself in there, 1st thing is defend yourself...in the next bed to me was a big youth his name is Neil Malpass a boxer(look him up on Youtube)he taught me a thing or 2...I won 2 and lost 1 fight, Still have a broken nose and a chipped tooth to remind myself from 50 years ago from the loss 😉

I came out an angry man but a fitter man, I took up fighting at football matches and in town, Met a girl, We got married I was 19 she was 18, 1st Child came along 6 months later😁 in 1976

I often wonder what my life would have turned out like if I hadn't seen what I saw in 1974.

Oh and the youth I smacked that started it all off in 1974, He's now with my Ex Wife...you couldn't make this sh!t up ☺️

 

Kind of reminds me of a path I took which under unrelated circumstances cost me £20k and a few of my pearly whites. However, if that didn't happen, there's no chance I would be with my wife and have two awesome kids.

As much as I regret the actions I made at the time, I'm also glad I did.

As @Tyler Durden stated, this could be merged with the depression (etc..) thread. on that thread a few years back, I discussed my depression and 'gambling' habits (hence the £20k) but I also dealt with that through excessive drinking which resulted in my 6'6" rugby playing flat mate punching me in the face a couple of times and knocking a few teeth out. I can't deny thinking over a 'what if' scenario from time to time. Whilst I've found ways to deal with my periodic depression, I haven't found a way to get past thinking over those past scenarios.

[May Contain Nuts]

To point out the obvious I'd probably force myself to go to the GP about the angina symptoms when they first occured 6-7 years ago rather than waiting until recent events.

[Bob The Badger]

On 25/09/2024 at 10:54, Alph said:

There’s so many regrets and mistakes for me that it’s bloody depressing to think back on which ones to start with. 

You've made good decisions, too, mate.

Otherwise, you'd not be here. Seriously. 

[Bob The Badger]

I think every Derby supporter had a sliding doors moment when Deni Smith put Charlie George into the Paddock. 

We quite possibly would have done the double that year and things irrevocably changed, even for fans who weren't even born

I don't want to say BC was a sliding doors moment because it was always going to happen.

 

 

 

[Normanton Lad]

We’ve got some rum coves on here – football hooligans, jailbirds, etc. I‘ve always been a careful person and I’ve lived a quiet, undramatic life. Some of those I’ve known have had very eventful lives. Two of my close relatives were murdered. A friend and someone I worked with were murdered. Two people at my place of work were murderers. As regards advice to a younger self only two things come to mind.

First, around about 1980 I was standing in the queue outside the Odeon on London Road to see 10 with Bo Derek when a passing stranger said “Don’t bother. The film is rubbish.” I didn’t listen and that was about 90 minutes of my life wasted. Seven was also a waste of time. The filming was so dark I couldn’t work out what was going on. Fellini’s Eight and a half was equally mystifying. My advice would be to avoid any film with a number in the title – unless it is by Kurosawa.

The second thing happened a few days ago when I posted on the 9/11 thread for the edification of some of the low knowledge types on here. That thread has just disappeared. Does anyone know why?  If I could go back a few days I would tell myself "Don't post anything on politics. It only upsets the blue pill types.”