Eddie Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 28 minutes ago, MuespachRam said: Pay off Keogh in 1 penny pieces and make him drive (oh sorry he cant) to the club every week to collect his next 1 pence. Buy the stadium off Mel and sell it to my wife, then get her to sell it back to me, then sell it to my son, then back to me, then to me son, then get him to sell it to my wife, then back to me and keep doing this on and on and on live on TV in the car park at Boro in Steve Gibsons parking spot.. Put on a gig at Pride Park with Paul Heaton headlining it and the Wedding Present as support, give all the tickets away and get @Inverurie Ram to be the host of it all. Send over a crate of Belgium beer to @Eddie, a pink kit to @B4ev6is and some koi carp to @David The rest I would just waste on stupid stuff. Cheers, mate. MuespachRam 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mucker1884 Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 7 minutes ago, Unlucky Alf said: Order myself the best funeral coz i'd die laughing, And on my headstone would be engraved "here rests Unlucky Alf here sure was unlucky" Actually put a laughing reaction, but then sat back, and realised that deep down, that was rather sad. Brought a tear to my eye. I feel for yer, buddy! ? Ram-Alf 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yani P Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 56 minutes ago, TexasRam said: Buy the club, debts and all. Make myself Manager (Wayne can stay as an advisor), stay up this season with loads of points to spare and win the FA Cup. Promotion unbeaten next season win another FA cup win and a decent run in Europe. Third season win the Premier league and have an open bus tour round Derby, stopping of in Middlesbrough outside Steve’s house to show him our pots and pans. Now where’s that ticket ? so in summary...you would buy a copy of championship manager.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ossieram Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 I'd probably get drunk and wake up in the morning totally skint after paying Derbys debts and hiring hit men for Gibson and Mr popodopalus. RoyMac5, Rev, uttoxram75 and 2 others 1 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramslad1992 Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 I’d give £10 mil to the air ambulance £10 mil to the TOF’s charity £10 mil to the Nottingham Neo-natal unit. pay off all the clubs debt and any families. I’d buy property and rent it to the vulnerable for a nominal charge. take the kids to Disney world. ive got 2 tickets ? cstand, Rev, RoyMac5 and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodypecker Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 Hire an accountant in perpetuity, to closely scrutinise the accounts of Middlesbrough and Wycombe Wanderlust. In the event of FFP and P&S transgressions, the legal brief would be to bombard the EFL relentlessly with legal challenges to delay resolution of the proceedings. Vengeful, yes, but it would be great to see them suffer! I would also bribe PL referees taking charge of Leeds & Villa games to ensure the matches are fixed to ensure defeats, those clubs ultimately being relegated to face EFL charges for their FFP breaches during their successful Championship seasons. Yes, I know that's all daft and wouldn't happen (and there's many more interesting things to spend money on, anyway) but then, the thread is supposed to be a laugh, innit? gfs1ram 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 A few years ago, I was working at Irish Life in Dublin. Our office was right next door to the lottery office. One weekend, a woman won something like €120 million on the Euro lottery and when I wandered down to the office on Monday morning, the area outside the Lotto office had one or two press people and photographers hanging around, just waiting for the winning ticket-holder to turn up and make their claim / collect their wheelbarrow of dosh etc etc. My mate Adrian and I went out for a couple of scoops and a sandwich at Briodys at lunchtime (as you do - that Murphy's won't drink itself, you know) and on the way back down Abbey Street - which was by now rammed with reporters and TV people, just waiting to catch a glimpse of the winner - Adrian said, quite loudly, "Don't these eejits know about the back entrance to the Lotto office?" - at which point, half a dozen of the scoop-getters-in-waiting disappeared around the corner, up Marlborough Street. When we got into the office, I asked "What back entrance?" and Adrian said "There isn't one. I just wanted to know if they knew that." Rev, MaltRam and uttoxram75 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 3 minutes ago, ossieram said: I'd probably get drunk and wake up in the morning totally skint after paying Derbys debts and hiring hit men for Gibson and Mr popodopalus. You'd get really good hitmen for that price, they probably wouldn't see it coming. I'd prefer cheaper incompetent blunderers, who'd make it more painful and a lot less quick, maybe resorting to a corkscrew, Chinese burns or a maybe a penknife to achieve their aims. I'd spend what I saved on another hitman to dispose of the initial amateurs, before they talked. Not that I've given this a lot of thought, you understand? Mucker1884, RoyMac5, ossieram and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seths-cap Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 Take over the club and invest the rest in building a squad to get us promoted, realise that not even 200 million could do that and then avoid contact with my manager, fans and local media. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost of Clough Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 1 hour ago, hintonsboots said: Make a bid for Middlesbrough and then take them down to the National League North. Buy Boro, buy Allsop for £60m to settle Derby's debt, give him a 10 year contract on £1m a month, then leg it... Coneheadjohn and Carl Sagan 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gee SCREAMER !! Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 10 minutes ago, Rev said: You'd get really good hitmen for that price, they probably wouldn't see it coming. I'd prefer cheaper incompetent blunderers, who'd make it more painful and a lot less quick, maybe resorting to a corkscrew, Chinese burns or a maybe a penknife to achieve their aims. I'd spend what I saved on another hitman to dispose of the initial amateurs, before they talked. Not that I've given this a lot of thought, you understand? Rev 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronRam 140.6 Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 I'd clear the debt and apply a 100 year caveat that DCFC shoukd pay me a very small percentage of INCOME anaually for the entirety of that period. Say 2% which I think is about 600k currently. If we are as big as we say we are it's a pittance. I just want to see football, not balance sheets, the slimey businessmen can deal with that, without the football being adversely affected. Anything over the initial loan can go into locL grass roots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamworthram Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 36 minutes ago, Ramslad1992 said: I’d give £10 mil to the air ambulance £10 mil to the TOF’s charity £10 mil to the Nottingham Neo-natal unit. pay off all the clubs debt and any families. I’d buy property and rent it to the vulnerable for a nominal charge. take the kids to Disney world. ive got 2 tickets ? god, some people are so selfish ? Ramslad1992 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gone Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 1 hour ago, Yani P said: so in summary...you would buy a copy of championship manager.. If I’d be Manager it’s be reality. 2 years with Spondon Rovers and 4 years with Alvaston Cavaliers, I’m a fountain of football knowledge from that upbringing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramslad1992 Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 13 minutes ago, Tamworthram said: god, some people are so selfish ? All jokes aside id probably keep £5 mil for myself and my family to live comfortably and my kids to live comfortably, the rest I’d give away. money isn’t everything, i’m not rich but I’m very lucky that I have a roof over my head, food on the table and 3 amazing children that think I’m the best thing in the world. there’s people in this world that needs that £106 mil a lot more than I do ? Would still be nice though wouldn’t it? ? Rev, archram, TooFarInToTurnRed and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 53 minutes ago, Ramslad1992 said: All jokes aside id probably keep £5 mil for myself and my family to live comfortably and my kids to live comfortably, the rest I’d give away. money isn’t everything, i’m not rich but I’m very lucky that I have a roof over my head, food on the table and 3 amazing children that think I’m the best thing in the world. there’s people in this world that needs that £106 mil a lot more than I do ? Would still be nice though wouldn’t it? ? The idea of spending it is probably nicer than the reality of dishing it out! Would be nice to find out, mind. Ramslad1992 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gee SCREAMER !! Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 I'd buy a load of prime single malt and set fire to it to keep the house heated this winter. Cheaper than gas . Just need another 111 million to pay the drivers wage to get it delivered. cstand 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bald Eagle's Barmy Army Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 Nobody needs £111 million, especially from having hardly anything before. 111 people could have a million each and the world would be a better place. Sweetness34 and Mucker1884 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B4ev6is Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 If I had 111m I would give some to roony here you go and infest this into the team even if was 40m I say to him dont worry about paying it back just go and get us promotion with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uttoxram75 Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 Retire. Sort the family out. Same for a few close friends. Talk to the administrators and ensure the Rams will survive until a buyer is found. Buy a brand new, top of the range minibus for the Uttoxeter massif and pay for all their season tickets for the next 30 years along with free beer on match days. Pay for taxis for the Etwall/Mickleover boys so they don't have to drink and drive on match days ? Did I say retire? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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