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Man Utd Preseason, the return of the fan


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3 minutes ago, ariotofmyown said:

We'll be booing them from the first misplaced pass onwards.

Important to look out for the first couple of touches from any trialists playing. We can that judge them on this forever more.

It's important to get the team ready for the vocal constructive criticism which will carry them through the season.

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1 minute ago, RadioactiveWaste said:

It's important to get the team ready for the vocal constructive criticism which will carry them through the season.

FAN TRAINING MANUAL

Edition 1 

Revision 001

All Staff to read and co sign with manager

Author R A Waste (HR Director)

?

 

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Right then, almost ready 

Sitting in the east stand so anti sun baseball cap (right way round) ready. Sunglasses ready.

Departure in 37 minutes

Change for any parking charges .. in place 

Ticket in back pocket .. checked 3 times

2 masks cos I’ll drop one for sure. 
 

feeling really weird, how long since I went down London road, turned left, looked for parking spot near the lamp shed ? What’s the river bank going to be like ? will a 3/4 empty stadium be soulless ? 
 

Que sera sera … COYR …. Best foot forward 

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4 minutes ago, jono said:

FAN TRAINING MANUAL

Edition 1 

Revision 001

All Staff to read and co sign with manager

Author R A Waste (HR Director)

?

 

Example 4.2.1

"A midfielder attempts to play a long pass towards the winger, however, the ball goes over the head of the winger and out of play for a throw in to the other team. This presents several options for the fan to express valid learning potential.

a. A cry of "useless" (optional emelleshent) - this allows the midfielder to understand that the attempted pass not reaching the intended recipiant has not helped them team. This is important because he may otherwise have laboured under the delusion that this wasn't the case.

b. A loud groan. See above

c. "Wingers name - duck off you *lady parts*" This will helpfully allow the winger to know it was his fault for not recieving the pass and thus creating a goal scoring oportunity. With time and repetition such encouragement will indeed make said winger taller."

 

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4 minutes ago, RadioactiveWaste said:

Example 4.2.1

"A midfielder attempts to play a long pass towards the winger, however, the ball goes over the head of the winger and out of play for a throw in to the other team. This presents several options for the fan to express valid learning potential.

a. A cry of "useless" (optional emelleshent) - this allows the midfielder to understand that the attempted pass not reaching the intended recipiant has not helped them team. This is important because he may otherwise have laboured under the delusion that this wasn't the case.

b. A loud groan. See above

c. "Wingers name - duck off you *lady parts*" This will helpfully allow the winger to know it was his fault for not recieving the pass and thus creating a goal scoring oportunity. With time and repetition such encouragement will indeed make said winger taller."

 

Note .. since the 1961 edition certain items have been removed

7.5.1 “Get your hair cut” 

7.3.2 “you big girls blouse” 

7.6.5 Questioning the ongoing presence of the referees parents 

 

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2 hours ago, angieram said:

If Man Utd really wanted to do Wayne Rooney a favour, they would have given up their worldwide TV rights for one friendly and let DCFC get the revenue on this occasion.

There's my dilemma sorted right there one of them there steaming passes I assume comes with complimentary beer, sufficient for me to be steaming.... ?

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