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Antisocial neighbours - anyone else suffered?


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I have a neighbour that if I went into too much detail would break the swear filter on here!!

Verbal assault, physical assault, false reports to social services for child abuse. All the police do is tell you take a log of events. The physical assault was the most recent. Restrained myself as she's a woman but her husband is just as bad. Rang the police as soon as it happened and said they needed to send an officer asap. Got told they were busy as I'd understand, to which I replied it's 7pm on a Wednesday, so no I don't.  Explained that if they didn't send someone I was going round to murder them both. Used the word murder several times to provoke a police response. 8 days and 3 phone calls later I got a call back, but to this day no visit!

Turns out another bordering property, a single mum with 2 kids has had all the same things as me and a hell of a lot worse!

I went round to offer her support and gave her my details, just in case her dad couldn't get there quick enough in the future.

The police told her to take a log as well.

This has been going on for years with us both.

I can handle the mind games and the verbals, but the moment she brought kids into it changed the game.  Had a new £600 CCTV system installed a few weeks ago, just to give my wife some additional assurance.

Had many a friend offer to sort it for me as the police won't or can't, but I don't want to stoop to that level.

Looked into moving but as she now has ASBO's and its been reported to the police, we would have declare this to the new buyers, which usually means 10/15% knocked off the house value.

There's a hundred other things as well, but this has just done it for me. 

I genuinely hate the pair of them.

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23 hours ago, reverendo de duivel said:

I had something similar, 20 odd years ago. 

Kept getting cryptic notes pushed through the door every Wednesday, started off rambling nonsense, but gradually got more threatening. 

One day I happened to be home, heard the letterbox go and looked to see what it was, another note. Went outside to see what if anyone was around, but the street was deserted, it was snowing though so I could follow the footsteps which seemed to go next door, I'd never even seen who, if anyone, lived there.

Called the police, and a few days later they sent someone round. We showed him the notes we'd been sent and I told them I thought it may be next door. The coppers had a look, and said although the notes were disturbing there probably wasn't anything criminal about them. We agreed tbh, and they left us a card to contact them if it carried on. 

We woke up the next morning to another note 'Way too much paranoia, now you'll die'. Whoever was sending the notes was obviously close enough to be watching, which was a terrifying thought in your own home. 

Called the cops, who said it still probably didn't meet the threshold for intervention, and recommended I stay at home on a Wednesday and try to catch the person in the act.

We hatched a plan, my Brother in Law came over Tuesday night and stayed over, then Wednesday morning I'd make out I was taking the missus to work as normal, but park around the corner and sneak back into the flat via the back window.

The missus went to bed Tuesday night as normal, and between the two of us we did a large bottle of Bombay, for Dutch courage I suppose.

Everything went as planned Weds morning, apart from the massive hangover! 

I was sat waiting when the letterbox went, flung the door open and collared the bugger. It was the bloke next door.

His house alarm then triggered, and he begged me to let him switch it off, but I wanted the neighbours looking out on the commotion, and calling the police, even though my Bro was already on it.

We lived in maisonettes, us downstairs and him next door upstairs, so I pushed him back down the gap between the buildings and asked him WTF he was playing at?

I told him he'd put me and the missus through 6 months of misery, and the little swine smirked, so I smacked him one in the temple, not a proud moment.

He asked if he could get his cigarettes out of his inside jacket pocket, I didn't see no harm in that so let him. About 30 minutes later the police turned up, he immediately moaned I'd twatted him, which I denied despite the egg like lump on his head, and I explained my side of the story. Then the officers we'd spoke to previously turned up and took control of the situation, calmed him down and sat him in the back of the car, then went to turn his alarm off.

A few minutes later, the PC came to talk to me. While turning off the alarm, he'd taken a gander round the flat. The fella next door had pushed all his wardrobes against the windows, to keep the devil out, and had a wall decorated with pictures of me and the missus identifying us as evil with our eyes gouged out etc! We'd never even clapped eyes on him.

The PC explained that unless he agreed to be sectioned, he'd probably be home that night and we should stay alert, which frankly terrified us.

An hour later, we received a call from the same officer, who told us that when he was searched at the station they'd pulled out 6 butchers knifes from the same jacket pocket his cigarettes where in! On the plus side, this meant he would be unlikely released that evening, but he couldn't guarantee anything long term, and we should stay vigilant.

We didn't hear anything more from the police after that point, no statement taken or anything, so spent the next few days in fear of seeing a light on or movement next door. 

It was pure luck the missus mentioned it to a colleague at her work, who's husband was a high up in the force. Within a few hours, we'd found out he'd been sectioned for 28 days in a secure facility. Then a week later he took a bath with a plugged in iron, to bring the tale to a wretched conclusion.

Care in the community they called it, but he'd not received care for far too long.

For months later, I'd see him everywhere I looked, the same shock on his face that I'd hurt him, and feel the same disgust that I did all over again. 

A few months later we bumped into his parents clearing out the flat, a nodded head acknowledgement with no words, but I can still now see the fire in his mother's eyes as we crossed paths.

 

Hell's teeth man that's a harrowing little story!

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8 minutes ago, Beetroot said:

Hell's teeth man that's a harrowing little story!

It's a bit much.

The weird thing is that a few months later we'd moved out, just after my mother in law moved next door but one.

Then a year later my brother in law moved into the very flat the fella had lived in! 

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The widow of my best mate lives next door to a couple with 6 kids. The man of the house is a drug dealer. He leaves the house every night at 10pm and does what drug dealers do until about 2am when he returns home and proceeds to wake the whole household up.

The 65 year old woman is woken most nights by crying kids and screaming adults. She's scared to call the police because she has to live next to them and is on her own.

She has a son (who is a a huge bloke but lives 6 miles away), who has threatened the dealer if he ever does anything to his mum, so far, he has been polite and well behaved mostly but she is on edge all the time. Luckily other neighbours and friends look out for her and between us she gets a visit every day, even if its just a socially distanced chat at the back door, or the gate in good weather.

The police are fully aware of the dealers movements,  but never turn up when they are called to a fracas outside the house with druggies shouting at all hours. One night two car loads were outside smashing the dealers car with hammers, the police popped round in the morning, 8 hours later, to respond to one of the neighbours 999 calls.

Drugs are openly sold in broad daylight, i've witnessed it on several occasions while i've been talking to her at the gate.

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@uttoxram75, sorry to hear that.

Frustrating isn't it?

All most folk want to do is keep their heads down and get on with others, keep their nose clean and live quietly.

Then you end up living next to the tossers who don't give two hoots about anyone else.

You think plod would be dying to help, that's what they're there for, but in my experience they don't give a monkeys.

Tell them that next time the neighbours act up you'll batter them, and they read you the riot act about taking the law into your own hands, but it's almost impossible to get them to do anything themselves.

 

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In our housing community in Spain, we have the next door neighbor from Helvetia.  She plays music loudly, she has cars parked in front of her house sometimes all day long, which is strictly forbidden, but makes a huge noise if anyone else has a service car for a few minutes parked outside their residence.  People try and assist her with things she needs done and for one day she is peaceful, but the next giving people the finger.  She accuses folks of the most ridiculous things, doesn't have a nice word to say about anyone.  The housing committee will no longer accept any of her complaining calls.  She has some serious issues.  While my friend and i were working on my house, she was a constant pain in the arse, hosed us with water two times for daring to chat while drinking coffee midday on my property.  My wife suggested that a male friend is what she desperately needs to quiet down, but no one is up for it.  We have considered hiring a fella for the job, but realize it would be expensive and honestly we can't bring ourselves to doing that to some hapless guy.

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@Mostyn6sorry to hear this. In this current climate i imagine it can be very frustrating that individual circumstances like your own seem to get swallowed up. It almost feels now as if there is a level of bad news people can absorb at the minute and anything else is dismissed as irrelevant or not as important (not saying current events are not tragic).

With all the will in the world, if schizophrenia was as easy to cure as simply talking to the woman or sending gifts, the world would be a much happier place. 

I'd suggest noise canceling headphones (understand if you live alone they can make you feel vulnerable).

Maybe if there's nothing you can do to help her mental health, keeping note of her usual habits (sounds creepy but there's a purpose) and if she is silent for a suspicious amount of time or breaks her usual habits then call for help in case she's harmed herself? 

Regardless, as sad as it is, you need to look after yourself first and foremost, there's already one person suffering, we don't want to make it two, and if you don't look out for your own mental health, you won't be able to help her. 

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  • 1 month later...

So, an update:  

a few weeks ago, the noise was so bad and things were smashing, I called the emergency services and said I was concerned for my neighbours well being. About ten minutes earlier, I’d knocked on her door and asked (through the closed door) if she was okay and needed help, her response was “I cannot hear you...  argharghaaaaaaaaggghhhh”.

This was about 10:30pm. Fifteen mins later the police pressed my buzzer. They must have buzzed my neighbour’s first cos she suddenly went quiet. I pointed out her front door and played them a recording I had made about 20 mins earlier. 
 

The police knocked on her door for about 10 mins and refused to leave until she opened the door and they could see she’d not harmed herself. Eventually she opened the door and said she was okay and insisted she needed no help! This infuriated me. 
 

The very next day, I emailed the landlord making the accusation that she can control her behaviour, as she never made a noise after the police came, and as such, this isn’t a mental illness thing as much as it’s anti social behaviour. 
 

So, a few weeks have now passed. It transpired that she has no diagnosed mental illness, the landlord has spoken to her doctors and she’s never even been assessed or medicated for schizophrenia, and she has history for anti social behaviour. 
 

She’s now received a letter and eviction proceedings have been kicked off. 

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2 hours ago, Mostyn6 said:

So, an update:  

a few weeks ago, the noise was so bad and things were smashing, I called the emergency services and said I was concerned for my neighbours well being. About ten minutes earlier, I’d knocked on her door and asked (through the closed door) if she was okay and needed help, her response was “I cannot hear you...  argharghaaaaaaaaggghhhh”.

This was about 10:30pm. Fifteen mins later the police pressed my buzzer. They must have buzzed my neighbour’s first cos she suddenly went quiet. I pointed out her front door and played them a recording I had made about 20 mins earlier. 
 

The police knocked on her door for about 10 mins and refused to leave until she opened the door and they could see she’d not harmed herself. Eventually she opened the door and said she was okay and insisted she needed no help! This infuriated me. 
 

The very next day, I emailed the landlord making the accusation that she can control her behaviour, as she never made a noise after the police came, and as such, this isn’t a mental illness thing as much as it’s anti social behaviour. 
 

So, a few weeks have now passed. It transpired that she has no diagnosed mental illness, the landlord has spoken to her doctors and she’s never even been assessed or medicated for schizophrenia, and she has history for anti social behaviour. 
 

She’s now received a letter and eviction proceedings have been kicked off. 

Surely there must be something wrong with her? Surely nobody is that weird?

Edited by DarkFruitsRam7
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5 minutes ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

Surely there must be something wrong with her? Surely nobody is that weird?

clearly there is, but if she's not willing to accept help, then it's her own fault. Why should her neighbours suffer? 

I was fuming cos I was told that they stopped her meds/care, but when the rozzers were at her door, she should've accepted/asked for help, considering she was smashing the place up for about an hour prior

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It's golden nowadays if you having friendly caring neighbours. When I lived in Manchester a few years ago, moving up there was a tough time. Living in the same area all my life and I was going to move away with no friends and no nearby family. I had an elderly couple in the flat next door and they were so helpful and gave me an overview of the area, invited me in for tea. In return I helped them move their heavy furniture up stairs to their flat. I imagine that's how neighbours used to be back in the day before many people turned into complete morons.

Sadly now I live back in Derby, we've got awful neighbours. Very rude, disrespectful to other people particularly when we've tried to have conversations with them. Loud music is probably one of the most common gripes with neighbours. I have no problem having music on at weekends. However, when it is passed a certain time of night, the music needs to be turned down. This is an early 1900s terrace as well, it's not like we have thin walls. 

I feel like I can't have a simple conversation with neighbours with them getting riled up. It's a clear lack of common decency. It's made me determined to buy a detached house!

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18 minutes ago, Grumpy Git said:

It probably wasn't so much the actual shooting, but the fact it was a sawn-off and he had a mk ll Jag on the drive?

Haha. 

Not quite but I remember we had some townies move in next door and on their first day as they tended their garden, he emerged blasting away. 

Their faces were a picture! 

The shed at the end of his garden had a sign saying 'beware - you are within twelve bore range.' 

Never had anything stolen. 

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6 hours ago, Angry Ram said:

Must be horrible to have bad neighbours.. On the flip side, we got new neighbours about a year ago. Indian family who are absolutely the nicest people. They have been stars locally making sure that everyone in our cul-de-sac has everything they need during lockdown. 

I understand you are moving buddy? Far right activist apparently 😂

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On 21/11/2020 at 12:58, Mostyn6 said:

So, an update:  

a few weeks ago, the noise was so bad and things were smashing, I called the emergency services and said I was concerned for my neighbours well being. About ten minutes earlier, I’d knocked on her door and asked (through the closed door) if she was okay and needed help, her response was “I cannot hear you...  argharghaaaaaaaaggghhhh”.

This was about 10:30pm. Fifteen mins later the police pressed my buzzer. They must have buzzed my neighbour’s first cos she suddenly went quiet. I pointed out her front door and played them a recording I had made about 20 mins earlier. 
 

The police knocked on her door for about 10 mins and refused to leave until she opened the door and they could see she’d not harmed herself. Eventually she opened the door and said she was okay and insisted she needed no help! This infuriated me. 
 

The very next day, I emailed the landlord making the accusation that she can control her behaviour, as she never made a noise after the police came, and as such, this isn’t a mental illness thing as much as it’s anti social behaviour. 
 

So, a few weeks have now passed. It transpired that she has no diagnosed mental illness, the landlord has spoken to her doctors and she’s never even been assessed or medicated for schizophrenia, and she has history for anti social behaviour. 
 

She’s now received a letter and eviction proceedings have been kicked off. 

Tbf i've displayed similar behaviour most Saturdays between 3 and 5 recently.  

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