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Time for some reflection


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Over the last 48 hours a few things have happened forum wise, which has made me think and persuaded me to put my thoughts down.

Overall I consider us to be a generally happy, easy going community, and I know compared to other football forums this one is right up there for being a welcome space to share thoughts (whether it be about the Rams or a great many other subjects). Not perfect, but pretty damn good all the same.

One of the things that made me think was a brief one-to-one discussion between @David and myself as we waited for other quiz members to join us last Saturday. I hope David that you don’t mind me sharing (and this is not verbatim, just my broad recollection) but asking after his welfare one of the things he said was that there are too many times he gets stressed having to wake to see what shitstorm might have occurred on the forum during his period of downtime. In fact he suggested his period of downtime has increased recently as a consequence.

There have been a couple of other private matters too, which I will not share, but it has pulled some strings together for me.  I think also joining the forum gathering on a Saturday afternoon has been beneficial, as you realise what really nice people share in our community. Pop in sometime and join in with the chat and quiz.

Anyway, a point I wanted to make was that an Internet forum can dehumanise individuals if you let it. Behind the keyboard is an individual who you do not know, or if you do it’s perhaps not very well. That individuals life will not be perfect, whose is? But for each who post it is a perhaps a space that they use to get away from the pressures or humdrum of real life. Each individual might have some concerns, anxieties, ill health, money problems, work issues, family difficulties, etc., etc. We don’t know do we? What is likely is that the last two months might only have increased the concerns and anxieties, and we should be mindful of that as we read posts, and respond to posts.

Now I am no saint, I know that. I can be acerbic at times and posters might not like my idea of humour. I also like to yank a few chains, but it is typically of individuals who I think I have got to know over the years. But I am going to think more in the coming weeks of what I post, and I am encouraging others to do so too. Take a few seconds more before pressing that send button.  

Ok, < group hug > and as you were.

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I agree,  the forum,  well no, a couple of threads in the Jim Smith room, have vexed me in the last couple of weeks but hey, I’ve got a quick fix for it.

If those with their superiority complex (and you know who you are) leave it elsewhere before logging in, voila...the bickering and sniping will disappear. Happy days.😀

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Good post @iRam 

I can get very opinionated, and yes I am reasonably confident of my opinions and not apologetic About them, but it does get heated sometimes and I really get unsettled if I have a spat with someone I normally get on well with in the forum In general, the politics Thread is interesting and a useful Place to exchange views and argue in the true sense of the word, but the anonymity or screen of distance can turn any of us in to a keyboard warrior - it isn’t always productive or constructive and I’m no saint 

 

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@i-Ram

i think that is a great post. Hopefully a few people do moderate their behaviour.

I used to listen to all creeds and opinions, but increasingly I chose to just stick people on ignore if they launch some sort of stupid attack or excessively facetious comment. I’m now up to 35 on ignore which is amazing, but they don’t get there without having done something that was uncalled for. Some of them used to be amongst my favourite posters, but I can’t be bothered with them now. Usually if one dishes out a bit of grief, the usual little band wade in too.

i was tempted to join the forum meet up, but there are a few on there who have made the ignore list, who I’m not sure I really want to meet, which is a shame because generally I would like to meet as many as poss. Whenever I have met people off the forum they have all been great. people seem to behave differently face to face than they do behind a keyboard.

I’m glad you have recognised your own tendency to yank a few chains. You can be funny but I put you in the “handle with care” category. 

Quote

Now I am no saint, I know that. I can be acerbic at times and posters might not like my idea of humour. I also like to yank a few chains, but it is typically of individuals who I think I have got to know over the years. But I am going to think more in the coming weeks of what I post, and I am encouraging others to do so too. Take a few seconds more before pressing that send button.  

Anyway, well said. And happy quizzing whether I make it or not.

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I think you're right, @i-Ram, in that posting is sometimes a way to let off steam. I know I've been a touch more aggressive in recent months, which is perhaps a reflection on the pressure I put myself under to perform well in uni exams (I know that sounds trivial, but everyone's issues are relative to their own lives). I think I actually bit at you the other week, for which I apologise.

Also, @RamNut, am I on your ignore list? I'll take any silence as a yes.🤣

 

Edit: Forgot to add, you were very different to what I expected on Saturday, George Clooney included!

Edited by DarkFruitsRam7
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6 minutes ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

I think you're right, @i-Ram, in that posting is sometimes a way to let off steam. I know I've been a touch more aggressive in recent months, which is perhaps a reflection on the pressure I put myself under to perform well in uni exams (I know that sounds trivial, but everyone's issues are relative to their own lives). I think I actually bit at you the other week, for which I apologise.

Also, @RamNut, am I on your ignore list? I'll take any silence as a yes.🤣

 

Edit: Forgot to add, you were very different to what I expected on Saturday, George Clooney included!

Yes

for the comment you dished out when I was just joking with b4 that I couldn’t hear him in the ground. 

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6 minutes ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

I think you're right, @i-Ram, in that posting is sometimes a way to let off steam. I know I've been a touch more aggressive in recent months, which is perhaps a reflection on the pressure I put myself under to perform well in uni exams (I know that sounds trivial, but everyone's issues are relative to their own lives). I think I actually bit at you the other week, for which I apologise.

Also, @RamNut, am I on your ignore list? I'll take any silence as a yes.🤣

Edit: Forgot to add, you were very different to what I expected on Saturday, George Clooney included!

With 35 on ignore, there must be a reasonable chance you are on Ramnut’s list. I was surprised I wasn’t.  All of us are on under stress one way or another, unless of course we have a major lottery winner amongst us. Exam pressure is a very real pressure, particularly at your age where you wish to progress a very specific, and competitive, career path. Best of luck with your studies/results.

As for how I look, try to imagine me without glasses (I need them to read) and without a lockdown haircut. I don’t think it is too difficult to see the Clooney resemblance.

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Let me put this into perspective for you ,I was chatting to my neighbour over the road who is 92 lives on her own, drives and is an all round top woman .

We we discussing shall we say the sensitivities of the generations below her "I'll tell you what stress /pressure is ,it's when I was doing my ironing and the Germans were bombing me "

The ficking lockdown ,exams etc etc are absolutely a cakewalk to the generation that when through the war, even now we have never had it so good [except the 60s and 70's imo]

 

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10 minutes ago, King Kevin said:

Let me put this into perspective for you ,I was chatting to my neighbour over the road who is 92 lives on her own, drives and is an all round top woman .

We we discussing shall we say the sensitivities of the generations below her "I'll tell you what stress /pressure is ,it's when I was doing my ironing and the Germans were bombing me "

The ficking lockdown ,exams etc etc are absolutely a cakewalk to the generation that when through the war, even now we have never had it so good [except the 60s and 70's imo]

 

I imagine this was aimed at me.

I wasn't saying exam stress is the hardest thing in the world (in fact I admitted that it was trivial). I myself have dealt with situations that are far tougher, more upsetting and challenging than exams in recent years (though obviously not as tough, upsetting and challenging than being bombed). I was merely pointing to a factor in my life at that time that perhaps contributed to a slightly raised level of hostility in my posts. I'm sure you're not immune from silly actions caused by stress/pressure/anxiety that, when put into context, seem completely insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It happens to us all.

Edited by DarkFruitsRam7
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6 minutes ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

I imagine this was aimed at me.

I wasn't saying exam stress is the hardest thing in the world (in fact I admitted that it was trivial). I myself have dealt with tougher, more upsetting and challenging situations than exams (though obviously not as tough, upsetting and challenging than being bombed). I was merely pointing to a factor in my life at that time that perhaps contributed to a slightly raised level of hostility in my posts. I'm sure you're not immune from silly actions caused by stress/pressure/anxiety that, when put into context, seem completely insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It happens to us all.

Not aimed at you at all , but it does highlight the sensitivities mentioned in my post .For what it's worth I think you are a credit to your generation and your posts are balanced and well thought out .In short you sound a good guy.

Edited by King Kevin
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2 minutes ago, King Kevin said:

Not aimed at you at all , but it does highlight the sensitivities mentioned in my post .Foe what it's worth I think you are a credit to your generation and your posts are balanced and well thought out .In short you sound a good guy.

Thank you, much appreciated.

I just wanted to point out that we all have things going on that effect us all in our own ways. You are right though, in that it's important to step back sometimes and realise that others have gone through and are going through far more challenging situations. It's part of moving forward.

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1 minute ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

Thank you, much appreciated.

I just wanted to point out that we all have things going on that effect us all in our own ways. You are right though, in that it's important to step back sometimes and realise that others have gone through and are going through far more challenging situations. It's part of moving forward.

I know mate ,perhaps it's my age and I've been round the block too many times but it takes a lot to knock me back /get me down, etc .I just think positively and unless it's really poo be grateful for what I've got .

Still not sure if I've articulated it properly but I hope you know what I mean ,I do think this forum is a bit glass half empty ish in it's outlook .

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9 minutes ago, King Kevin said:

I know mate ,perhaps it's my age and I've been round the block too many times but it takes a lot to knock me back /get me down, etc .I just think positively and unless it's really poo be grateful for what I've got .

Still not sure if I've articulated it properly but I hope you know what I mean ,I do think this forum is a bit glass half empty ish in it's outlook .

It takes a lot to get me down too! I generally don't let outside events affect me too much, but maybe I allow it to creep in sometimes when I post on here (probably due to a combination of anonymity and only getting a tiny picture of what other posters are like in real life).

I completely understand what you're saying. You're quite right, I think we are a bit negative on here when perhaps we aren't so in real life.

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