GboroRam Posted April 24, 2020 Share Posted April 24, 2020 At least nobody has said they considered injecting zoflora. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mostyn6 Posted April 24, 2020 Share Posted April 24, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mostyn6 Posted April 24, 2020 Share Posted April 24, 2020 7 minutes ago, GboroRam said: At least nobody has said they considered injecting zoflora. I snorted toilet duck, does that count? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramsbottom Posted April 24, 2020 Share Posted April 24, 2020 36 minutes ago, GboroRam said: At least nobody has said they considered injecting zoflora. Can’t wait for the stories to come out in a couple of days of some Trump supporters killing themselves by injecting disinfectant. You know at least a couple of them are dumb enough to do it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comrade 86 Posted April 24, 2020 Share Posted April 24, 2020 1 hour ago, Van Cone De Head said: Not done it yet but I’ve started running a bit so I’m going to get a proper running lead and take Igor. I know it will be a disaster but I see these runner types with their border collies and Weimaraners fastened to these chord thingies and I’m going to get one and don’t care if I look ridiculous. Hmmmmm.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coneheadjohn Posted April 24, 2020 Share Posted April 24, 2020 48 minutes ago, 86 Schmokes & a Pancake said: Hmmmmm.... Like that but worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted April 24, 2020 Share Posted April 24, 2020 I've been pulled by a few dog's in my time. I soon learned that nobody does it better than myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uttoxram75 Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 On 22/04/2020 at 17:56, Geriatram said: Most Saturday nights after 8 pints of pedigree in the Mitre . The Mitre is no more......its been flattened ? https://www.derbytelegraph.co.uk/news/Derby-news/new-pictures-show-landmark-spider-4082928 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2tups Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 No idea why. But, once went with a Chelski supporting mate to Hillsborough. If we score I’ll sit on my hands, he said. Di Matteo, one nil. FFS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jono Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 Had an air pistol shoot out with my sisters BF. I was at least bright enough to wear Woolworths plastic sunglasses. Some weird markings on the skin and Mum went bonkers as pellets embedded in garden furniture The real really daft thing I did once .. young man + new company car .. country lanes high summer .. got in an amicable race with a random bloke in an RS2000. Great fun .. until I lost it big time and ended up hitting a wooden Manweb power pole. .. luckily no one injured. .. car a wreck. Copper came .. no one hurt, sober, insured so he says ..” is this your car sir” urrr well it’s a company car ... Oh he says, well good luck with your boss tomorrow, I’m going off shift now. Farmer arrives, looks at car with telegraph pole bisecting roof .. wheels splayed like a doxy and 50 metres of fence wiped out ..quote of the year “is it driveable” I have forever been embarrassed at how stupid it was .. I could have killed someone. .. I laugh, but I was actually ashamed. anyway circa 1980 a manweb power pole was £ 483 quid and I ended up in a Fiat 126 for 3 months which wasn’t fun going to Scotland for work on the M6 .. it slowed down in a head wind, never mind sharp summit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gone Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 Got out of a minibus on the A52 near Bramcote to have a pee on route to Forest after having several pints in the Prince of Wales in Spondon. It had stopped in Traffic. The traffic moved on and the mini bus went on it’s way leaving me stranded on the side of the road, my mates laughing their heads off at me and waving as it went into the horizon. The traffic eventually slowed and a car with a Forest scarf out the wIndow stopped, I knocked on the window and asked for a lift...... he gave me a lift (notice I didn’t say “one or ride”) and dropped me off right outside the away end. We lost 3-0, next day Gregory got sacked. The stupid thing was getting in a red dogs car and going to that game we were poo ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 On 22/04/2020 at 19:34, reverendo de duivel said: Johnny Russell smacked me in the balls pre season at Burton. It was going to hit a nipper on the row in front full in the face, so I shoved him out the way with both hands, and took the blow like a little bitch. I then ignored the bleeding and swelling long enough for the scrotum to become infected, resulting in emergency surgery some while after, leading to daily visits to the nurse and from the district nurse to clean and repack the wound. Didn't even get a signed shirt out of it! Still have Pac-Man shaped bowlocks to this day. Did you say to the doctor "Could you take away the pain but leave me the swelling"? It was my standard retort after my second vasectomy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 5 minutes ago, Eddie said: Did you say to the doctor "Could you take away the pain but leave me the swelling"? It was my standard retort after my second vasectomy. No, it was the veg that was swollen, not the meat. By veg, I mean button mushroom, obviously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TramRam Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 On 22/04/2020 at 18:51, TramRam said: Had training with my local pub football team, Trainers were dirty so washed them in the kitchen sink, Put them out to dry, 4-5 hours later still wet, So decided to put them in the microwave, 2 minutes later, Kitchen stinking of burnt rubber, A size 8 trainer came out a size 6 Turkish slipper. Never thought it was stupid until 2mins later ? Well it's done for. After all these years of faithfull service, Being obidient to the core, Seeing at least 5 Governments in office, World conflicts, Our glorious English football team never to win a majour honour, Not quite seeing out Covid-19, My Microwave died this Morning...But, I have bought a new one from Asda today ☺️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FindernRam Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 On 30/04/2020 at 21:37, reverendo de duivel said: No, it was the veg that was swollen, not the meat. By veg, I mean button mushroom, obviously. what worried me at my vasectomy was 3 things: Surgeon was called John Thomas He said bet your glad you're my third patient today, means I've got my eye in. FOLLOWED by Did you have two when you came in? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSD Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 Driving a quad bike whilst drunk and hitting a tree stump. Landed head first into the adjacent hedge. Thankfully my mate accepted the £100 offer to fix the dents. That was a great night, 18/19 year olds thinking we were invisible. I did wear a helmet though Mum..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i-Ram Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 I as about 21 I would guess, as I passed my driving test when 20. I was captain of our second eleven Cricket team, which was mainly a colts team - I think I was the fourth eldest. Coming back after a game with 3 or 4 teenagers in the car, I got into a boy racer pursuit - not sure why, other than to show off I guess - and I completed a pretty safe overtaking manoeuvre until I realised almost too late that I was approaching what was almost a 90% corner ahead. How I got round that corner I still don’t know but I had to cut it very early and would have totalled anyone on the other side. Fortunately there wasn’t. I still think for a short while I was only on 2 wheels, and when I managed to stop the car a few hundred metres on I remember the other car passing giving me the ‘Collymore wave’. I could have ended a minimum of 5 young lives that evening, and I still have flashbacks today when I witness a bit of dangerous driving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbadbob Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 10 minutes ago, SouthStandDan said: Driving a quad bike whilst drunk and hitting a tree stump. Landed head first into the adjacent hedge. Thankfully my mate accepted the £100 offer to fix the dents. That was a great night, 18/19 year olds thinking we were invisible. I did wear a helmet though Mum..... Bet your mate didn't see that coming Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uttoxram75 Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 11 hours ago, i-Ram said: I as about 21 I would guess, as I passed my driving test when 20. I was captain of our second eleven Cricket team, which was mainly a colts team - I think I was the fourth eldest. Coming back after a game with 3 or 4 teenagers in the car, I got into a boy racer pursuit - not sure why, other than to show off I guess - and I completed a pretty safe overtaking manoeuvre until I realised almost too late that I was approaching what was almost a 90% corner ahead. How I got round that corner I still don’t know but I had to cut it very early and would have totalled anyone on the other side. Fortunately there wasn’t. I still think for a short while I was only on 2 wheels, and when I managed to stop the car a few hundred metres on I remember the other car passing giving me the ‘Collymore wave’. I could have ended a minimum of 5 young lives that evening, and I still have flashbacks today when I witness a bit of dangerous driving. I gave you a like, not for what you did but because i've been there myself at that age and realise how lucky we are to be here! Although I wasn't the driver I was a passenger who encouraged the driver to drink while attending a Rams game at Shrewsbury in the early 80's. We drank before the game and several stops on the way home. On the way back we missed a bend, hit the earth bank head on and bounced back into the road to be hit by another car behind us. Two in the front went through the windscreen - luckily they were not wearing seatbelts as the engine ended up where their legs would have been - and us two in the back were trapped in a crushed mini. We all walked away with cuts and bruises somehow but for sheer stupidity it ranks up there..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkFruitsRam7 Posted September 26, 2020 Share Posted September 26, 2020 @David and I have now both carried out scooter-related acts of stupidity. After a few pints in early-morning Budapest, I thought it would be a good idea to recreate the famous Titanic scene with a female friend on an electric scooter in the pouring rain. Needless to it ended up with a trip to hospital, a few scrapes for me and a fractured elbow for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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