Stive Pesley Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 Congrats mate! What you will find is that the first two years (which you missed with your step-child) are very different. Especially the first year. A friend of mine summed it up when he described the first year as "pummelling". Really hard work and a grinding routine, plus the baby is ony capable of limited interaction so it will feel a lot less rewarding in the immediate sense that you're used to with a toddler - but incredibly rewarding in the long run. Just enjoy it - and take lots of photos/videos, because trust me in 5 years time you won't remember any of it with any clarity! Ramslad1992 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smyth_18 Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 It is an absolute disaster and leaves you longing for the simple times where you had so much less to worry about. A disaster i wouldn't change for the world. I look at him every day in pure amazement. This is what i was made for. ramit and Ramslad1992 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mostyn6 Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 my closest friends didn't give their kids dummies, and instead encouraged them to be chatty and talkative, now, my god-daughter is 19 and godson is 14 and they are absolutely awesome, I mean truly awesome. They can be cheeky, and charming in equal measure, but they are prepared for the most important thing in the world, interaction. They were well behaved kids and learned that speaking/communicating instead of screaming tantrums was the best way to get what they wanted, and as such were brilliant to look after, and very amusing when they were trying to get something they wanted. Obviously, some parents will want more peace and quiet, but as has been said, it's a quick life watching them grow, so get as much interaction and bonding as you can when they're learning. If I have kids, I will try to raise them as my godkids have been raised. ramsbottom, dcfcfan1 and ramit 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramslad1992 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 Thank you very much everyone, safe to say I’m excited beyond belief but also petrified! Thank you for all your advice (both serious and funny) ? ramit 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 Babies are all different of course and nothing is going to work all the time for everyone but for us getting ours into a routine for sleep & bed time (and sticking to it) as early as possible was fantastic. It can't be coincidence that our friends who complain that their young ones won't go to sleep or sleep through the night are the ones who say the bed time and routine varies wildly. She also loved to sleep being swaddled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramshankered Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 Not to steal RamsLad's thunder but I too am expecting (well my partner is) end of next month. Yet again DCFCfans turned up and delivers even when I'm not expecting it! ramit, Steve How Hard?, dcfcfan1 and 3 others 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mucker1884 Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 2 hours ago, Van Wolfie said: Babies are all different of course and nothing is going to work all the time for everyone but for us getting ours into a routine for sleep & bed time (and sticking to it) as early as possible was fantastic. It can't be coincidence that our friends who complain that their young ones won't go to sleep or sleep through the night are the ones who say the bed time and routine varies wildly. She also loved to sleep being swaddled. Yeah... around 6:30pm, so they're settled before the soaps come on! ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Kevin Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 (edited) When you put them to bed if they are not in pain ,well fed and clean under NO circumstances lift them when they cry.If you do and it is very tempting you are screwed for the rest of their childhood . Edited October 24, 2019 by King Kevin Congratulations Ramslad1992 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramslad1992 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Share Posted October 24, 2019 3 hours ago, Ramshankered said: Not to steal RamsLad's thunder but I too am expecting (well my partner is) end of next month. Yet again DCFCfans turned up and delivers even when I'm not expecting it! Not at all mate! Congratulations. You can give me the pointers with yours as mines not coming until end of May time. The midwife recommend a really good book called ‘men, love and birth’ which is a baby book written by a bloke for blokes essentially. It’s been really helpful so far. Good luck with everything ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcfcfan1 Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 On 21/10/2019 at 12:49, Mostyn6 said: my closest friends didn't give their kids dummies, and instead encouraged them to be chatty and talkative, now, my god-daughter is 19 and godson is 14 and they are absolutely awesome, I mean truly awesome. They can be cheeky, and charming in equal measure, but they are prepared for the most important thing in the world, interaction. They were well behaved kids and learned that speaking/communicating instead of screaming tantrums was the best way to get what they wanted, and as such were brilliant to look after, and very amusing when they were trying to get something they wanted. Obviously, some parents will want more peace and quiet, but as has been said, it's a quick life watching them grow, so get as much interaction and bonding as you can when they're learning. If I have kids, I will try to raise them as my godkids have been raised. Massively agree! Where I work kids and toddlers come in crying all the time. Can get loud and annoying, can make it much harder for me to concentrate and do my job to the best of my ability. But then I see other people tutting and giving the parent(s) dirty looks. I find it disgraceful Whats the solution? Lock the toddler in the cupboard and never bring them out in public? Stick a dummy on them for an "easier life" so you can have a few pints in peace? Nah, duck that. Take time and socialise them, and do the best to your ability. Best of luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrivateDerby Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 Can I join DCDC? She’s due end of Feb, our first... both bricking it. Ramslad1992, Ramshankered and Eddie Lewis 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FindernRam Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 Some simple light hearted rules to get you through the early days: 1. Mother is always right! Follow her instincts and life is easier. 2. If Mum is not around and you desperately need advice, talk to her Mother, NOT yours. See rule 1. She gets her methods from her mother. 3. Crying babies are normal, check nappy, wind, temperature. Fixes most events 4. Screaming is not normal, lethargy is worrying, get medical advice. 5. Spend time with the little one, ooh and coo, make faces let you inner infant out and enjoy it. P.S The sleepless nights bit is temporary, it eases off for a bit, starts up again around teething and continues till they leave home at 18! Ramslad1992 and Wolfie 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smyth_18 Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 6 minutes ago, PrivateDerby said: Can I join DCDC? She’s due end of Feb, our first... both bricking it. There's no denying it's bloody hard. But you will never feel a love like it and it will all be worth it. Promise! Ramslad1992 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smyth_18 Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 2 minutes ago, FindernRam said: continues till they leave home at 18! That's a blast from the past! Leaving home at 18. Even uni doesn't count as leaving home does it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FindernRam Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 20 minutes ago, Smyth_18 said: That's a blast from the past! Leaving home at 18. Even uni doesn't count as leaving home does it? Didn't want to depress him too much. My eldest left at 18, came home a weeks later and stayed still she got married! Smyth_18 and dcfcfan1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mucker1884 Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 45 minutes ago, FindernRam said: 3. Crying babies are normal, check nappy, wind, temperature. Fixes most events A Helpful Link... for the latter two. FindernRam and Ramslad1992 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramshankered Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 15 hours ago, Ramslad1992 said: Not at all mate! Congratulations. You can give me the pointers with yours as mines not coming until end of May time. The midwife recommend a really good book called ‘men, love and birth’ which is a baby book written by a bloke for blokes essentially. It’s been really helpful so far. Good luck with everything ? Likewise mate – big congrats! Admittedly I've not done a whole lot of reading – that books sounds good tho. I'll grab it on Audible so I can listen to it while I'm building baby furniture! I dunno what your hospital offers, but if they do a antenatal classes take them – we had 4 x 2 hour classes that were immensely helpful (and free). We've paid 100 big ones for Baby Bump Club (a.k.a unofficial NCT) and they're essentially giving us the same info we've already had for free. Gawd-bless the NHS. Ramslad1992 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramsbottom Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 Whenever me & the Mrs find out someone is expected, we congratulate them, then immediately inform them that 90% of raising a baby is an absolutely soul sucking ball-ache of the highest order. But you can make it easier by doing two things. Firstly, get as much sleep as is humanly possible, cus you're really gonna miss it when it evaporates. Secondly, whatever you do, no matter how much you want to, DO NOT engage with them in any way when you're changing their nappy, or giving them a feed at night. Baby's sleep patterns are learnt over time, you start making goo-goo noises and making faces at them at 3 in the morning, they think it's play time, and their body clock adjusts to suit. This is something we learnt the hard way, as the lad didn't sleep through the night until he starting going to school. PS. All this breast is best business is betty swollocks in our opinion, our lad is very switched on at school and was off the wife's milkers after a week or so, of trying, and mostly failing, due to the complications @dog refers to. PPS. Make sure you & the Mrs are on the same page when it comes to telling them NO. It saves vast amounts or arguing for the rest of your lives together... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramsbottom Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 On 21/10/2019 at 12:49, Mostyn6 said: my closest friends didn't give their kids dummies, and instead encouraged them to be chatty and talkative, now, my god-daughter is 19 and godson is 14 and they are absolutely awesome, I mean truly awesome. They can be cheeky, and charming in equal measure, but they are prepared for the most important thing in the world, interaction. They were well behaved kids and learned that speaking/communicating instead of screaming tantrums was the best way to get what they wanted, and as such were brilliant to look after, and very amusing when they were trying to get something they wanted. Obviously, some parents will want more peace and quiet, but as has been said, it's a quick life watching them grow, so get as much interaction and bonding as you can when they're learning. If I have kids, I will try to raise them as my godkids have been raised. This. Our lad had a dummy for about a month and he's a proper gobby so & so. I also thinks it's how you talk to them as well. Wherever possible I've never dumbed conversations down, and talked to him as I would an adult. Helps with their vocabulary and they're able to understand stuff quicker. Mostyn6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumpy Git Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 If you have a lad, tell him to grow his facial hair as soon as possible and with a bit of luck, he'll be able to pop to the corner shop for your fags before he's 16 Mucker1884, Steve How Hard? and Mostyn6 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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