Mucker1884 Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 Nope... It wasn't me, Officer... I was at home all evening with my secretary... We worked late all evening... until around 11pm, then went upstairs to make love. She didn't leave until well gone 11:15... by which time, I was sleeping. So you see, officer, I have the perfect alibi, so get off my case! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mostyn6 Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 1 hour ago, Boycie said: Thanks for the correction. Hope you didn’t get porridge. didn't even get the chance to do the course. Straight £60 fine and 3 points. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comrade 86 Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 Bloody hell Moses, you lot are positively angelic. Think I'll take the 5th! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Kevin Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 How long you got? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jourdan Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 My nan dropped me off outside EMA in an unauthorised parking spot. Got the blood pumping that did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkFruitsRam7 Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 Not really. I don't see that many policeman about. The closest I got was when I had a piss in a bush outside the Accrington Stanley ground (facing away from other fans, obviously). A copper told me that I could be done for indecent exposure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 4 minutes ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said: Not really. I don't see that many policeman about. The closest I got was when I had a piss in a bush outside the Accrington Stanley ground (facing away from other fans, obviously). A copper told me that I could be done for indecent exposure! He must of felt sorry for you, was it very cold? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 Embezzlement, obtaining money by deception, fraud and breach of fiduciary duty, all between 2014 and last year. Settled out of court without a stain on my character, what do I win? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkFruitsRam7 Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 9 minutes ago, reverendo de duivel said: Embezzlement, obtaining money by deception, fraud and breach of fiduciary duty, all between 2014 and last year. Settled out of court without a stain on my character, what do I win? Hello, Mr Rush. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mucker1884 Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 17 minutes ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said: Not really. I don't see that many policeman about. The closest I got was when I had a piss in a bush outside the Accrington Stanley ground (facing away from other fans, obviously). A copper told me that I could be done for indecent exposure! 11 minutes ago, Boycie said: He must of felt sorry for you, was it very cold? A truer story does not exist... Late '80's I think... on our way to work on a Saturday Morning. A building site in Herts was the destination, and it was, if I recall, opening day of the footy season. As we headed South on the M1, it dawned on us that The Rams were away to Chelsea. Upshot was, we played an adult version of Truancy, and diverted straight through to that London, and headed for "The Bridge". This was the '80's. We worked (when we turned up!) on building sites. It was summer. And the footy was a last minute unplanned plan! For that reason, I was dressed in a scruffy tee shirt and equally scruffy shorts, down to just above the knee. Upon arrival onto the away terracing, the sun shone ever brightly, and with some force! We were early, so had the expanse of the away end to choose our spot... which ended up being a wall (or was it a railing thing?) towards the back. We sat on this wall, feet raised up on something(?), but in the meantime, due to the weather now being scorchio, I'd rolled up the scruffy short sleeves of my tee shirt, and the equally scruffy legs of my shorts, both as far as they'd roll. Now, I noticed the 6 or so coppers looking in my/our direction, from halfway down the terrace. Some looked stern, some looked amused, and one looked female! They left it a good ten minutes or so, before the female rozzer clearly drew the short straw, and approached me. As she looked me in the eye, her exact words were "Could you cover yourself up please?" I was a little baffled. Was she concerned about sunburn? She repeated her request, and my bafflement continued. At the third request, just as the remaining group of coppers began to fidget, giggle, and snigger, her eyes left mine, and looked down at my nether regions... along with a nod of her head, as if to guide my own eyes in a similar direction! It came to pass that Little Percy had popped out for some sunshine too! Did I mention I hadn't bothered donning underpants, as I dressed informally for work that morning! Yes, I did say Little Percy, and yes, I have already confirmed it was far from cold! Let's just say I don't think WPC Shortstraw volunteered to take a closer look, but she acted out her duties with impressive professionalism... which is more than one could say about her 5 male colleagues, who merely stood... pointing and laughing... whilst on duty... in uniform! B*s*ards! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angry Ram Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 3 hours ago, King Kevin said: How long you got? #metoo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angry Ram Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 Had to go to court for stabbing someone... Mistaken identity but still had to attend court only to be told ‘it wasn’t you was it’.. By the copper who supposedly arrested me. ******.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uttoxram75 Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 3 hours ago, King Kevin said: How long you got? 7 minutes ago, Angry Ram said: #metoo I'm outta here..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turk Thrust Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 Title should be Who's not Whose. But the only occasion I have had a brush with the law was when I was working on a British aid project in Sierra Leone. I was arrested by the military police and imprisoned in Wilberforce Barracks in Freetown ironically. I was accused of being an Arab spy. I thought afterwards that I could have raised an eyebrow a la Roger Moore and said "I'm from Derby not Abu Dhabi". I was there for 2 days with a bowl of greenish liquid for food, and cockroaches and geckos for company. The British High Commissioner had me released. I had an apology and a bottle of Star beer from a lieutenant Happy days! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePrisoner Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 15 hours ago, reverendo de duivel said: Embezzlement, obtaining money by deception, fraud and breach of fiduciary duty, all between 2014 and last year. Settled out of court without a stain on my character, what do I win? Nectar points scam? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamworthram Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 Speeding fine 30+ years ago. Also took part in an identity parade (as one of the innocent ones of course). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronRam 140.6 Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 17 hours ago, Turk Thrust said: Title should be Who's not Whose. But the only occasion I have had a brush with the law was when I was working on a British aid project in Sierra Leone. I was arrested by the military police and imprisoned in Wilberforce Barracks in Freetown ironically. I was accused of being an Arab spy. I thought afterwards that I could have raised an eyebrow a la Roger Moore and said "I'm from Derby not Abu Dhabi". I was there for 2 days with a bowl of greenish liquid for food, and cockroaches and geckos for company. The British High Commissioner had me released. I had an apology and a bottle of Star beer from a lieutenant Happy days! Been under caution from Military Police on a few occassions. Most notably when on ceremonial duties at Uxbridge Barracks a company of RAF Regt. had a crack at the title. Probably as close to actual terrace trouble as you'll get probably (not been THAT silly). Terribly one sided affair. An productive 48 hours were had cementing our reputation. Dragged out of my pit at 0300 for bollockings, interviews and toilet cleaning. Very similar occurred when top brass decided to move our unit to a Naval base at Fasland, Scotland. Couple of hairy nights in the NAAFI, new hierarchy established and the rest was gravy as they say. Halcyon days. Civil Feds. No comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ariotofmyown Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 Went out last Tuesday with lads from work. Had somewhere between 2 and 102 beers, then me and a colleague decided to drive home rather than use the taxis that my work had laid on for us. Ended up crashing and me and mate got charged with drink driving. Worst part was that boss was in back of one of the cars and now can't work for over a year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ossieram Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 Seems like we have more than our fair share of angels on here! I would post about my "brushes" with the law, but I reckon quite a few on here would put be me on ignore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mucker1884 Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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