Gay Championship footballer to ‘come out’

[TigerTedd]

3 hours ago, G STAR RAM said:

My point is you cant just read about something and say its racist language or behaviour. It needs context. The use of the n word by rappers being the perfect example.

Is the n word racist or not?

I believe it's possible for people to use language that other class as homophobic or racist but for it not to be racist behaviour.

Fair enough.

I think the ignorance being shown is by people trying to use football as a vehicle for promoting things that 90% of people attending could not give a flying duck about!

Maybe it's my age or just the way I was brought up but I think most people at a football match dont care about the colour or sexual orientation of players. 30 years ago maybe but not now.

But by this logic, we don’t need black awareness campaigns and equality measures because slavery has been gone for over 200 years and basically people aren’t really racist these days. 

Theres still a long way to go for a black baby to be born and not be instantly on the back foot compared to a white baby in exactly the same circumstances. Likewise with gay people. 

That awareness still needs to be raised, the equality measures still need to be enacted. 

It’s great that it doesn’t matter to you. But there’s a lot of homophobes out there for whom it does matter. My views have changed so much over the past 20 years that I can scarcely believe these people exist and assume everyone is as tolerant as me, but they really do exist, and intolerance is still the default setting for a lot of people.

even if they try their best to keep a lid on it, and it only rears it’s head in a heated moment at a football match where the n word or similar slips out. There’s a difference between taking the talk and really believing it.

i get what your saying, I really do. I used to argue til I was blue in the face that words are just words, and it’s how you say them or mean them that’s important. I argued so much that I tried to prove a point, whilst probably too drunk to make the point with any eloquence. Ended up shouting in a mates girlfriends face that she was a fat bitch, til I kind of forgot what point I was trying to make. She unsurprisingly ran off crying, and he nearly punched me. We haven’t really spoken since.

i was trying to be too cerebral about it. But really hurtful words are just hurtful. End of. 

 

[AdamRam]

29 minutes ago, G STAR RAM said:

Ok righteous one. Give yourself a pat on the back for never once using any language that someone may find offensive!

I already said that in the past I have said things that I’m not proud off, it would be very easy of me to say it was the done thing back in the day and it was only words but that would be an excuse and I openly hold my hands up and say I was wrong, my behaviour was appalling and I was part of a culture that was and still is unacceptable.

I believe I have learnt a lot since then, this is not being righteous, just knowing right from wrong.

[TigerTedd]

Wouldn’t it be amazing if this guy came out, and then at the very next match there were rainbow flags and all sorts and a massive round of applause when his name’s announced, totally drowning out any idiots. Sending out a massive message to any other gay footballers out there. 

Would be fitting for it to happen at PRIDE park. 

[PrivateDerby]

Never taken any interest in players WAGS, never tried to find out either, by I dunno? Waiting by their cars before or after a match or by looking them up on the internet or social media... just seems strange to me why fans would want or need to know? Why not just like them if they're good footballers? 

And what would get reported? Full on homophobic abuse? Yeah probably? Wolf whistles? Hmmm

Just play football and go home.

[SaffyRam]

4 hours ago, SchtivePesley said:

Just out of interest  -if this player were to come out, and they played at Pride Park - and then you attended the match and found yourself in the vicinity of someone using homophobic language repeatedly in that player's direction... what would you do?

 

I’m confident I would tell them to shut the duck up. You have to challenge these things so people gradually realise their behaviour’s unacceptable.

 

[DarkFruitsRam7]

1 hour ago, PrivateDerby said:

Never taken any interest in players WAGS, never tried to find out either, by I dunno? Waiting by their cars before or after a match or by looking them up on the internet or social media... just seems strange to me why fans would want or need to know? Why not just like them if they're good footballers? 

And what would get reported? Full on homophobic abuse? Yeah probably? Wolf whistles? Hmmm

Just play football and go home.

This doesn't have to benefit you though. It's something that will benefit a minority who might well need someone to look up to and be inspired by. Just because you don't care doesn't take away from it's importance one jot.

[G STAR RAM]

14 hours ago, Nick_Ram said:

If you think any football fan using the N word even once to describe anyone on the football pitch is ok, you're wrong.

Please don't ever come to Pride Park again. You're not welcome. 

From all non-racist DCFC fans.

Where did I say I think it is ok?

I just said I would not report anyone who said it once in the heart of the moment. I wouldn't want someone to be banned from football for saying something they didn't really mean.

I'm a non racist DCFC fan thank you and just as welcome at Pride Park as you are thank you.

I think you're racist and sexist and are only making this point because I'm a white male. That's literally how easy it is to accuse someone of being these things with no evidence and no context.

[Sidd10]

48 minutes ago, G STAR RAM said:

Where did I say I think it is ok?

I just said I would not report anyone who said it once in the heart of the moment. I wouldn't want someone to be banned from football for saying something they didn't really mean.

I'm a non racist DCFC fan thank you and just as welcome at Pride Park as you are thank you.

I think you're racist and sexist and are only making this point because I'm a white male. That's literally how easy it is to accuse someone of being these things with no evidence and no context.

[Sexydadbod]

I guess we will see tomorrow if this is genuine or another WUM. They’ve been a lot of these sort of things over the years to exploit people’s emotions and its ended up someone trolling. 

Best hope that Rakitic doesn’t come across this footballer if it’s genuine, if you know, you know.

[Sexydadbod]

17 hours ago, TigerTedd said:

Wouldn’t it be amazing if this guy came out, and then at the very next match there were rainbow flags and all sorts and a massive round of applause when his name’s announced, totally drowning out any idiots. Sending out a massive message to any other gay footballers out there. 

Would be fitting for it to happen at PRIDE park. 

Silly idea imo, I know you mean well but where do you draw the line? There will be people who then say then why don’t we have all black flags to celebrate those who are black or other coloured flags to celebrate those of other ethnic minorities? What about other things that need to be exposed? Did you know prostrate cancer kills one man every 45 minutes, how many of you knew that(and that’s just one many different variations of cancer)-how many anti cancer banners do football crowds hold? Rather than rainbow just have banners to say no to all forms of discrimination and illnesses, singling one form out suggests it’s more important than other when it’s not.  

[TigerTedd]

37 minutes ago, McLovin said:

Silly idea imo, I know you mean well but where do you draw the line? There will be people who then say then why don’t we have all black flags to celebrate those who are black or other coloured flags to celebrate those of other ethnic minorities? What about other things that need to be exposed? Did you know prostrate cancer kills one man every 45 minutes, how many of you knew that(and that’s just one many different variations of cancer)-how many anti cancer banners do football crowds hold? Rather than rainbow just have banners to say no to all forms of discrimination and illnesses, singling one form out suggests it’s more important than other when it’s not.  

Bad example, there are lots of those little stick men badges to heighten awareness of men with cancer. 

Maybe all sky pundits and managers could where a pride flag. 

Not saying it would be a weekly event, but if this guy does come out, a one time event to show him and others that he’s coming out into a world where the majority are supporting him would do wonders for making it more mainstream. 

Statistically there must be loads of gay footballers, itching to be allowed to be themselves. 

[Sexydadbod]

2 minutes ago, TigerTedd said:

Bad example, there are lots of those little stick men badges to heighten awareness of men with cancer. 

Maybe all sky pundits and managers could where a pride flag. 

Not saying it would be a weekly event, but if this guy does come out, a one time event to show him and others that he’s coming out into a world where the majority are supporting him would do wonders for making it more mainstream. 

Statistically there must be loads of gay footballers, itching to be allowed to be themselves. 

The problem is that there the risk of “politicising the game in the eyes of uefa”, Celtic fans did anti war flags with the situation in the Middle East and got fined and condemned for being too political. As

As I said , where do you draw a line. I personally don’t think homophobia is as much of a problem in the UK at least in comparison to how it was 30 years ago so it doesn’t warrant a big event rainbow, sure you will have the odd homophobic here and there but that’s natural as you will always people who look differently towards others, no matter how much you campaign against it. It’s impossible to change someone’s mentality.

You have that discrimination in many different forms, for example, how many people have said something about religion for example , like about Christianity or Islam, or said “God doesn’t exist”, is that not being discriminatory to people who have strong religious faiths? I was brought up with the mentality to respect different beliefs, respect everyone. 

The majority of everyone in this country knows about the situation gay people used to face in this country, for me, there’s a risk if you give something too much exposure then it would put people off and annoy people and takes away from the original message-respect and equality. I don’t mean that offensively, just how it likely is. You just have to see the “toxic masculinity” advert Gillette. I think they tried to make was to try and get rid of negative Male attitudes but it ended up conveying it in a way that it made all white men look like dicks and many men were put off by the advert due to misandry.  I personally would like to see things not many people know about being exposed in this country to help spread the message to people who are in the dark.

[Sexydadbod]

12 minutes ago, McLovin said:

The problem is that there the risk of “politicising the game in the eyes of uefa”, Celtic fans did anti war flags with the situation in the Middle East and got fined and condemned for being too political. As

As I said , where do you draw a line. I personally don’t think homophobia is as much of a problem in the UK at least in comparison to how it was 30 years ago so it doesn’t warrant a big event rainbow, sure you will have the odd homophobic here and there but that’s natural as you will always people who look differently towards others, no matter how much you campaign against it. It’s impossible to change someone’s mentality.

You have that discrimination in many different forms, for example, how many people have said something about religion for example , like about Christianity or Islam, or said “God doesn’t exist”, is that not being discriminatory to people who have strong religious faiths? I was brought up with the mentality to respect different beliefs, respect everyone. 

The majority of everyone in this country knows about the situation gay people used to face in this country, for me, there’s a risk if you give something too much exposure then it would put people off and annoy people and takes away from the original message-respect and equality. I don’t mean that offensively, just how it likely is. You just have to see the “toxic masculinity” advert Gillette. I think they tried to make was to try and get rid of negative Male attitudes but it ended up conveying it in a way that it made all white men look like dicks and many men were put off by the advert due to misandry.  I personally would like to see things not many people know about being exposed in this country to help spread the message to people who are in the dark.

Without politicising this thread too much, I think this is a good way to “unite” people who are Gay and feel left out and those who are discriminatory against people who are Gay, a fight against a common cause with the same goals in mind e.g calling out the pedophillia and sexual abuse at the top with Kevin Spacey and Jeffery Epstein. Kevin spacey for example came out as “gay” to try and make people feel sorry for him, the cynic in me suggests that was to make people feel sorry for him and is mocking normal law abiding citizens who are genuinely gay

[Anon]

On 21/07/2019 at 22:56, G STAR RAM said:

Why am I fair game for being abused for being fat or bald but someone else not fair game for it for whatever reason?

Theres no forum rules against logic as far as I'm aware.

I think the fat issue is a bad example. Aside from a tiny percentage of people with certain medical conditions being overweight is a choice, whereas being attracted to a particular gender isn't.

Being bald isn't a choice, but I think context is important here. Where I grew up you ran the risk of getting a kicking for being slightly effeminate, never mind what people would do if they actually thought you were gay. As far as I'm aware people suffering from hair loss have only ever been subjected to mockery as opposed to physical violence. I understand it's frustrating to see certain groups receive protection from mean words, but I guess I can understand why it's more important to encourage gay acceptance than bald acceptance.

I am absolutely dreading this announcement though because I predict the results will be utterly cringeworthy. Said player will come out (the pointless dramatic build up doesn't do much to dispel certain stereotypes about the gay community either). Much praise for bravery will be given. 95% of fans will either react positively or not care. 5% of fans will react like neanderthals and at some point there will be chants/shouts/and definitely negative comments on social media denigrating said footballer. The media will choose to focus completely on this negative reaction from a tiny proportion of fans. There will be multiple news stories claiming, "Football has a problem with homosexuality". Hector Bellenderin will tweet something insufferably woke, just in case anyone forgot what a virtuous fedora tipper he is. Rainbow laces will abound. Some team will release a special pride rainbow kit.

[DarkFruitsRam7]

9 minutes ago, Anon said:

Hector Bellenderin will tweet something insufferably woke, just in case anyone forgot what a virtuous fedora tipper he is. 

From what I’ve heard, he’s an absolutely lovely bloke in person. What don’t you like about him?

Apart from his fashion sense being strange, I don’t see why you’d have such a strong opinion on him?

[Ghost of Clough]

11 minutes ago, Anon said:

I think the fat issue is a bad example. Aside from a tiny percentage of people with certain medical conditions being overweight is a choice, whereas being attracted to a particular gender isn't.

Being bald isn't a choice, but I think context is important here. Where I grew up you ran the risk of getting a kicking for being slightly effeminate, never mind what people would do if they actually thought you were gay. As far as I'm aware people suffering from hair loss have only ever been subjected to mockery as opposed to physical violence. I understand it's frustrating to see certain groups receive protection from mean words, but I guess I can understand why it's more important to encourage gay acceptance than bald acceptance.

I am absolutely dreading this announcement though because I predict the results will be utterly cringeworthy. Said player will come out (the pointless dramatic build up doesn't do much to dispel certain stereotypes about the gay community either). Much praise for bravery will be given. 95% of fans will either react positively or not care. 5% of fans will react like neanderthals and at some point there will be chants/shouts/and definitely negative comments on social media denigrating said footballer. The media will choose to focus completely on this negative reaction from a tiny proportion of fans. There will be multiple news stories claiming, "Football has a problem with homosexuality". Hector Bellenderin will tweet something insufferably woke, just in case anyone forgot what a virtuous fedora tipper he is. Rainbow laces will abound. Some team will release a special pride rainbow kit.

P.S. It's not orange ?

[Anon]

8 minutes ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

From what I’ve heard, he’s an absolutely lovely bloke in person. What don’t you like about him?

Apart from his fashion sense being strange, I don’t see why you’d have such a strong opinion on him?

He strikes me as being a sanctimonious git.

[DarkFruitsRam7]

1 minute ago, Anon said:

He strikes me as being a sanctimonious git.

Why?

[Sexydadbod]

5 minutes ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

From what I’ve heard, he’s an absolutely lovely bloke in person. What don’t you like about him?

Apart from his fashion sense being strange, I don’t see why you’d have such a strong opinion on him?

I think most people are just fed up , like Anon said, about Bellerin thinking he’s “woke”, growing his hair long to throw it in the face of toxic males who think you need short hair to be a man, spreading the idea that being a vegan makes you better and reaches your full potential , saying that Arsenal fans feed off Arsenal losing and acting like a woke feminist appearing with his hero Megan rapinoe. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with those things, but it doesn’t seem genuine if you compare it to how he was before , people think he’s doing it for popularity. Compare this “woke” Bellerin to the Bellerin jack the Spanish-cockney lad when he just came into the Arsenal first team.

[Anon]

3 minutes ago, McLovin said:

I think most people are just fed up , like Anon said, about Bellerin thinking he’s “woke”, growing his hair long to throw it in the face of toxic males who think you need short hair to be a man, spreading the idea that being a vegan makes you better and reaches your full potential , saying that Arsenal fans feed off Arsenal losing and acting like a woke feminist appearing with his hero Megan rapinoe. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with those things, but it doesn’t seem genuine if you compare it to how he was before , people think he’s doing it for popularity. Compare this “woke” Bellerin to the Bellerin jack the Spanish-cockney lad when he just came into the Arsenal first team.

This. I think he's about as sincere as a Walmart greeter.