Gay Championship footballer to ‘come out’

[BaaLocks]

2 hours ago, Alpha said:

I just hope he's as strong as he is brave. 

And I just hope that if the bloke next to me gives him grief I'm strong enough to tell them to shut the 'f' up...

[TigerTedd]

22 minutes ago, G STAR RAM said:

I wouldnt report someone at a football match for homophobia because I'd have no idea whether someone is homophobic just because they shout something at a football match.

I dont think everyone that shouts 'you fat bar steward at a goalkeeper' hates fat people or people without fathers so I wouldnt report them either.

If equality is the aim then all abuse at football matches should be outlawed.

Would you report someone for using the n word and chucking bananas at a black player though? Nah, he’s probably not racist, just saying something at a football match, it’s different innit.

Without over trying to over analyse it, people will say things at football matches to try to hurt or otherwise disorientate the opposition. That means taking something they may feel insecure about and picking at that scab. 

Call a footballer bald or fat, and you’ll only get so far. At the end of the day, they’re the one making a living as a professional athlete and going home to a stunning wag. 

Call someone out for one of those protected characteristics, and you’re crossing a line. It’s something that’s going to have deeply effected them, their decisions, the way people perceive them, throughout their lives.

But abuse will happen, it’s unfortunately inevitable, and it’s the reason no one in football has come out yet, despite it being pretty much statistically impossible that every footballer is straight. 

It will take one footballer to take that step, and take the abuse that will come with it, in order to blaze the trail for others. 

But this is the same attitude as ‘why does it matter if the manager is black? I’m not in the slightest bit racist, so I couldn’t care less what colour he is. Why make a big deal of it?’

if you’ve got friends or relatives who are gay, and who have struggled to find acceptance, even if it’s only to accept themselves, even if they’re coming out into a totally tolerant and supportive family, then you’d know what a big deal this could be. To have a mainstream footballer come out, and show millions of gay kids that it’s okay to be gay and play or enjoy football will be a big deal. 

I’d be surprised these days if anyone exists that doesn’t at least know someone or have a family member who is gay. And if you don’t know anyone who is gay, it’s not that no one around you is gay, statistically, someone is bound to be, the question is, why haven’t they told you?

I really hope this is real, and not a fake account or whatever. It will be a long road to total acceptance and gay footballers being so normal it doesn’t even matter anymore, but that road has to start somewhere, with some brave bar steward. 

[G STAR RAM]

19 minutes ago, TigerTedd said:

Would you report someone for using the n word and chucking bananas at a black player though? Nah, he’s probably not racist, just saying something at a football match, it’s different innit.

Without over trying to over analyse it, people will say things at football matches to try to hurt or otherwise disorientate the opposition. That means taking something they may feel insecure about and picking at that scab. 

Call a footballer bald or fat, and you’ll only get so far. At the end of the day, they’re the one making a living as a professional athlete and going home to a stunning wag. 

Call someone out for one of those protected characteristics, and you’re crossing a line. It’s something that’s going to have deeply effected them, their decisions, the way people perceive them, throughout their lives.

But abuse will happen, it’s unfortunately inevitable, and it’s the reason no one in football has come out yet, despite it being pretty much statistically impossible that every footballer is straight. 

It will take one footballer to take that step, and take the abuse that will come with it, in order to blaze the trail for others. 

But this is the same attitude as ‘why does it matter if the manager is black? I’m not in the slightest bit racist, so I couldn’t care less what colour he is. Why make a big deal of it?’

if you’ve got friends or relatives who are gay, and who have struggled to find acceptance, even if it’s only to accept themselves, even if they’re coming out into a totally tolerant and supportive family, then you’d know what a big deal this could be. To have a mainstream footballer come out, and show millions of gay kids that it’s okay to be gay and play or enjoy football will be a big deal. 

I’d be surprised these days if anyone exists that doesn’t at least know someone or have a family member who is gay. And if you don’t know anyone who is gay, it’s not that no one around you is gay, statistically, someone is bound to be, the question is, why haven’t they told you?

I really hope this is real, and not a fake account or whatever. It will be a long road to total acceptance and gay footballers being so normal it doesn’t even matter anymore, but that road has to start somewhere, with some brave bar steward. 

Chucking a banana yes as I think it's most likely a premeditated act.

Using the N word? Depends if it was persistent or just a one of occasion.

Got a family member who is gay. I dont care. My kids dont care. Never seen or heard anyone who has a problem with it.

Does it mean that I never use any words that some people would think make me homophobic? No.

Would they be bothered if they heard me use words that others would class as homophobic? No.

It just seems to me that the people that get most offended by these issues are people that have no understanding and just want to be offended everything so they can show the world how much they care about everyone.

I think I like 90% of football fans couldn't care less about players sexuality. The other 10% will be prejudiced whether they are at a football match or in a shopping centre. Not sure why football always seems to get singled out. Actually I do know but wont bother going there on this thread.

[Comrade 86]

Isn't it funny how those who claim to have no interest whatsoever in other folk's sexual orientation and how they are treated, often seem to be the ones posting the most on any related threads! It was always quite evident in the old Pub threads too.

I suppose to keep them happy we should acknoledge that paunchy, bald, old white chaps need protection too as they can often be subject to the worst kind of bigotry. Many are too fearful to even leave their houses lest the hetero-bashers get hold of them. I for one am sick of reading about middle-aged accountants who have been beaten senseless, just becuase they are straight and good at sums. It boils my blood tbh. Once we have these poor chaps sorted, then we can worry about these pesky minorities with their never-ending demands for equality. 

[SSD]

Gay, Bi, Straight, none of my business. Give me your all on the pitch, that's what matters. Couldn't give a damn about the sexual orientation of any player.

[AdamRam]

2 hours ago, 86 Schmokes & a Pancake said:

Isn't it funny how those who claim to have no interest whatsoever in other folk's sexual orientation and how they are treated, often seem to be the ones posting the most on any related threads! It was always quite evident in the old Pub threads too.

I suppose to keep them happy we should acknoledge that paunchy, bald, old white chaps need protection too as they can often be subject to the worst kind of bigotry. Many are too fearful to even leave their houses lest the hetero-bashers get hold of them. I for one am sick of reading about middle-aged accountants who have been beaten senseless, just becuase they are straight and good at sums. It boils my blood tbh. Once we have these poor chaps sorted, then we can worry about these pesky minorities with their never-ending demands for equality. 

You beat me to it, without opening this post I would have put money on certain posters defending the actions of people as acceptable being included within it. 

[SaintRam]

9 hours ago, G STAR RAM said:

 

Using the N word? Depends if it was persistent or just a one of occasion.

 

[G STAR RAM]

3 hours ago, SouthStandDan said:

Gay, Bi, Straight, none of my business. Give me your all on the pitch, that's what matters. Couldn't give a damn about the sexual orientation of any player.

Be careful, saying that you dont care but also commenting on the issue is frowned upon by certain sections...

[SaintRam]

6 minutes ago, G STAR RAM said:

Be careful, saying that you dont care but also commenting on the issue is frowned upon by certain sections...

I don't think that's likely. Not caring is not caring.

What's "frowned upon" is not understanding that using homophobic language to abuse someone who's gay, or using racist language to abuse someone who's black is homophobic/racist; even if "they only said it once, to get a rise out of them". Thinking otherwise is just pure ignorance.

[G STAR RAM]

10 minutes ago, SaintRam said:

I don't think that's likely. Not caring is not caring.

What's "frowned upon" is not understanding that using homophobic language to abuse someone who's gay, or using racist language to abuse someone who's black is homophobic/racist; even if "they only said it once, to get a rise out of them". Thinking otherwise is just pure ignorance.

In which case I'm ignorant but pretty sure most of you think that anyway! ?

Never had Emimem down as a racist given the genetic makeup of the band he was in. Guess you learn something new every day!

Just out of interest should the same rules be applied to anyone abusing a fat footballer? I'm off to the Chris Martin thread after you've answered that.

[DarkFruitsRam7]

9 minutes ago, G STAR RAM said:

Just out of interest should the same rules be applied to anyone abusing a fat footballer? I'm off to the Chris Martin thread after you've answered that.

Yet again, you’re demonstrating absolutely no understanding of the difference between being fat/bald/etc and being gay or belonging to an ethnic minority. There is absolutely no point in you commenting on this thread if that’s your view. 

[SaintRam]

12 minutes ago, G STAR RAM said:

In which case I'm ignorant but pretty sure most of you think that anyway! ?

Never had Emimem down as a racist given the genetic makeup of the band he was in. Guess you learn something new every day!

Just out of interest should the same rules be applied to anyone abusing a fat footballer? I'm off to the Chris Martin thread after you've answered that.

Different words. 

I think similar rules should apply to abusing someone with an eating disorder (not the same though, they're vastly different issues that you absolutely shouldn't conflate); but a chunky footballer? Probably not. 9/10 they're not actually fat anyway, just stocky. And I'd argue that a professional athlete has a lot of control over their weight.

[G STAR RAM]

9 minutes ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

Yet again, you’re demonstrating absolutely no understanding of the difference between being fat/bald/etc and being gay or belonging to an ethnic minority. There is absolutely no point in you commenting on this thread if that’s your view. 

Ah that old chestnut...if you dont agree with me your view is wrong and I do not want to hear it.

My best friend from school is black, i worked for a predominantly Asian firm for 15 years and retain many friends from back then. I have a close family member that is homosexual.  What makes you more qualified to be more understanding of these issues than me can I ask.

From my experience I think unless the abuse was over the top and ascended o violent confrontation most of the group of people that I described above would not really take much offence at hearing words that others choose to use as homophobic or racist at a football match.

Of course I can only speak from personal experience but I must also assume that you have much more experience in these subjects.

 

[G STAR RAM]

14 minutes ago, SaintRam said:

Different words. 

I think similar rules should apply to abusing someone with an eating disorder (not the same though, they're vastly different issues that you absolutely shouldn't conflate); but a chunky footballer? Probably not. 9/10 they're not actually fat anyway, just stocky. And I'd argue that a professional athlete has a lot of control over their weight.

That's fine, I have absolutely no problem with anyone abusing me at a football match because of my physical appearance. 

Do I think they hate me? (a) doubt it because they dont know me (b) dont care.

Just find it hypocritical that people are fine with certain people being abused but not others. Thought we all wanted  equality?

[SaintRam]

2 minutes ago, G STAR RAM said:

Ah that old chestnut...if you dont agree with me your view is wrong and I do not want to hear it.

My best friend from school is black, i worked for a predominantly Asian firm for 15 years and retain many friends from back then. I have a close family member that is homosexual.  What makes you more qualified to be more understanding of these issues than me can I ask.

From my experience I think unless the abuse was over the top and ascended o violent confrontation most of the group of people that I described above would not really take much offence at hearing words that others choose to use as homophobic or racist at a football match.

Of course I can only speak from personal experience but I must also assume that you have much more experience in these subjects.

 

I don't understand your argument, here.

Clear up for me which of these points you're making:

• I know I'm not racist, (here's some evidence for your internal jury), so I should be allowed to use racist slurs to get a rise out of members of ethnic minorities on occasion without being labelled as a racist?

Or

• I am friends with non-white people, so I am in a position to say what behaviour is racist and what behaviour isn't.

[DarkFruitsRam7]

3 minutes ago, G STAR RAM said:

Ah that old chestnut...if you dont agree with me your view is wrong and I do not want to hear it.

My best friend from school is black, i worked for a predominantly Asian firm for 15 years and retain many friends from back then. I have a close family member that is homosexual.  What makes you more qualified to be more understanding of these issues than me can I ask.

From my experience I think unless the abuse was over the top and ascended o violent confrontation most of the group of people that I described above would not really take much offence at hearing words that others choose to use as homophobic or racist at a football match.

Of course I can only speak from personal experience but I must also assume that you have much more experience in these subjects.

 

It’s not that you shouldn’t comment at all on any thread relating to homophobia. It’s that there’s no point in you commenting on this specific thread if you’re going to repeat the old ‘I don’t care’ trope (which isn’t harmful in itself but the point has already been made) or make deliberately antagonistic jokes about how you might ‘come out’ as straight. It’s akin to demanding ‘Straight Pride’ and, in my mind, shows ignorance, no matter how many gay people you know.

[G STAR RAM]

3 minutes ago, SaintRam said:

I don't understand your argument, here.

Clear up for me which of these points you're making:

• I know I'm not racist, (here's some evidence for your internal jury), so I should be allowed to use racist slurs to get a rise out of members of ethnic minorities on occasion without being labelled as a racist?

Or

• I am friends with non-white people, so I am in a position to say what behaviour is racist and what behaviour isn't.

My point is you cant just read about something and say its racist language or behaviour. It needs context. The use of the n word by rappers being the perfect example.

Is the n word racist or not?

I believe it's possible for people to use language that other class as homophobic or racist but for it not to be racist behaviour.

2 minutes ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

It’s not that you shouldn’t comment at all on any thread relating to homophobia. It’s that there’s no point in you commenting on this specific thread if you’re going to repeat the old ‘I don’t care’ trope (which isn’t harmful in itself but the point has already been made) or make deliberately antagonistic jokes about how you might ‘come out’ as straight. It’s akin to demanding ‘Straight Pride’ and, in my mind, shows ignorance, no matter how many gay people you know.

Fair enough.

I think the ignorance being shown is by people trying to use football as a vehicle for promoting things that 90% of people attending could not give a flying duck about!

Maybe it's my age or just the way I was brought up but I think most people at a football match dont care about the colour or sexual orientation of players. 30 years ago maybe but not now.

[SaintRam]

2 minutes ago, G STAR RAM said:

My point is you cant just read about something and say its racist language or behaviour. It needs context. The use of the n word by rappers being the perfect example.

I agree.

 

BUT the specific context we're discussing it in, is the words being used to ABUSE football players at football matches.

That is the context.

That is homophobia. That is racism.

Doesn't matter if the fan shouting it "isn't normally like that", doesn't matter if "their best friend is black" or "they work with gay people". That just is what it is.

[AdamRam]

16 minutes ago, G STAR RAM said:

Ah that old chestnut...if you dont agree with me your view is wrong and I do not want to hear it.

My best friend from school is black, i worked for a predominantly Asian firm for 15 years and retain many friends from back then. I have a close family member that is homosexual.  What makes you more qualified to be more understanding of these issues than me can I ask.

From my experience I think unless the abuse was over the top and ascended o violent confrontation most of the group of people that I described above would not really take much offence at hearing words that others choose to use as homophobic or racist at a football match.

Of course I can only speak from personal experience but I must also assume that you have much more experience in these subjects.

 

Maybe they did take offence however decided you were not the best person to make their feelings known to.....given your previous posts as long as it was a one off then it doesn’t matter does it ??!

As you say though, you know them better so I’m probably wrong ?

[G STAR RAM]

3 minutes ago, AdamRam said:

Maybe they did take offence however decided you were not the best person to make their feelings known to.....given your previous posts as long as it was a one off then it doesn’t matter does it ??!

As you say though, you know them better so I’m probably wrong ?

Yes maybe they did.

Yes I'd say I'm in a better position to comment on my own family and friends than you are. Is that really a shock to you?

Sure you would have your own experiences that you would comment on and believe to enhance your point of view. Or do you just go off what other people tell you to think?