John Terry: Aston Villa assistant and former Chelsea captain in talks to become new Middlesbrough manager

[McRamFan]

No idea how reliable this site is.

https://talksport.com/football/efl/547090/john-terry-aston-villa-chelsea-middlesbrough-manager/amp/?__twitter_impression=true

[ronnieronalde]

pfft John Terry? Never managed a game in his life and he gets potentially a job like that. Surely not.

There's only one stand out candidate in my eyes.

Local connections, legendary ex playing dad, knows the division and would do a cracking job of cutting the wage bill and bringing through young lads. Loves Steve Gibson to bits. Probably a lot cheaper than either Pulis or Terry.

Yep you've guessed it.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm talking about Conor Ripley, he's never managed a game either but he's got more chance of making it as a manager than he has a Champoionship keeper so might as well give him a crack.

[irobinson]

Be better going with Woodgate IMO

 

[SSD]

Don't think Terry will move up there. Not enough good looking women in the local area for him to get excited about.

[ronnieronalde]

25 minutes ago, SouthStandDan said:

Don't think Terry will move up there. Not enough good looking women in the local area for him to get excited about.

I wouldn't be too sure. If Steve Gibson tells him he's only 15 miles away from being able to pop inside Bridges whenever he gets the urge, he might quite fancy it ?

http://www.thebridges-shopping.com/ - Sunderland finest ?

 

 

[Van der MoodHoover]

Nice timing........lets have our opponents nicely unsettled prior to Monday, with JT maybe half in and half out of training as he contemplates his package.....?

[RadioactiveWaste]

33 minutes ago, ronnieronalde said:

I wouldn't be too sure. If Steve Gibson tells him he's only 15 miles away from being able to pop inside Bridges whenever he gets the urge, he might quite fancy it ?

http://www.thebridges-shopping.com/ - Sunderland finest ?

 

 

Just take precautions, popping into anything in Sunderland could be considered "a high risk" practice.

[BaaLocks]

The lengths he'll go to to avoid losing at Wembley...

[ronnieronalde]

12 minutes ago, RadioactiveWaste said:

Just take precautions, popping into anything in Sunderland could be considered "a high risk" practice.

Why do you think I left at 15, a year or three before I started popping into anything ?

You risk things falling off if you take your chances up there.

[Boycie]

Well his mate Frank got a job managing a small championship club as his first job.

Good luck to him, just hope if he gets them promoted he resists wearing the full kit.

[Mostyn6]

6 minutes ago, ronnieronalde said:

Why do you think I left at 15, a year or three before I started popping into anything ?

You risk things falling off if you take your chances up there.

didn't you already have 3 kids and a grandkid by then? lol

[ronnieronalde]

4 minutes ago, Mostyn6 said:

didn't you already have 3 kids and a grandkid by then? lol

I was THE late developer Most pal. The only one.

My mates were all out doing "micky flannagan's" by the time they were 11. I was still scared shitless until I was about 23 ? and it didn't get much better even after that ?

Still managed to pull Miss Croatia though, not bad for a big toothed skinny little sod eh ?

 

[Boycie]

9 minutes ago, ronnieronalde said:

I was THE late developer Most pal. The only one.

My mates were all out doing "micky flannagan's" by the time they were 11. I was still scared shitless until I was about 23 ? and it didn't get much better even after that ?

Still managed to pull Miss Croatia though, not bad for a big toothed skinny little sod eh ?

 

Had her car broke down mate? ?

[ronnieronalde]

She was sitting by the swimming pool in Mallorca and there were no loungers left. Which was a massive surprise that she'd missed out on one as she was half German as well.

Stunning, loveliest bikini I've ever seen, just mouth wateringly gorgeous ?

Me being full of myself by then. I picked my own lounger up carried it over head past the crowds and gave it to her telling her she was too lovely to be sitting on the concrete. The lounger was so heavy I nearly dropped it and fell into the pool

She invited me to sit down and the whole hotel pub by the pool started cheering. Man, what happened, I used to be so charming ?

Everything was going fantastically well until we went out for the night to the Bucaneer. Then she saw me dancing and I mean really dancing and it was downhill from there.

She ended up marrying a brain surgeon, I ended up selling sky insurance for 5 quid a month.

We're still in touch, she''s still gorgeous and I've still got no chance. Probably off to see her and her kids this summer.

[Ambitious]

2 hours ago, irobinson said:

Be better going with Woodgate IMO

 

Woodgate is struggling to pass the exams, apparently. He's not the brightest bulb in the box. 

[ronnieronalde]

1 hour ago, Boycie said:

Had her car broke down mate? ?

I know you weren't really that interested but I'm a storyteller and my story must be told.

Carrying on quick 'cos I forgot to mention it. 

She asked me to go swimming with her and I was such a poor swimmer I had to come up with a reason why I couldn't dive like Greg Louganis.

I told her I was traumatised as kid when I was 10 and my little kitten fell into the pool. I had to jump in fully clothed to try and rescue it. After a struggle I managed to get him up on the side of the pool. I told her I gave him the kiss of life and he started breathing again, He went on to live a long and happy life, fathering litter after litter. Since then I've been too sad to dive into a pool again.

"why would you be sad? You saved that little kittens life, you're a hero"

Yeah but I forgot I had my baby hamster in my jeans pocket at the time ? ?

I couldn't rely on looks alone that's for sure ?

[ronnieronalde]

Holy Camolie I can't stop. I think someone has spiked my sugar puffs this morning.

It's brilliant if you can keep a straight face until the punchline as well.

I also told her this joke and I think it was this one that clinched it.

I had a really nice chat with a girl on the plane on my way over here. I got pissed off sitting with the lads so just went and found the nearest spare seat. She was lovely looking, we got talking and I asked her what she did for a living (bearing in mind i'm 17!!) Turns out she's a psychologist in sexual behaviour, she's just finished a study of which country has the men who are best at sex,

Oh yeah and what were the results, who came out on top?

"Well it depends, if a girl is looking for size and girth, she's better off finding a native american Indian, they're renowned for being the biggest in that department... BUT if she's looking for someone who can last and last and last, then you can't beat the Greeks, unfortunately the English don't rank so highly in either"

"Anyway it's really nice to meet you but we haven't been properly introduced, I'm Sally"

Hi Sally, nice to meet you. I'm Tonto Popodopolous ? 

She stopped laughing a week later and my work there was done ? 

[Boycie]

Bloody hell, @David just offered me 1000/1 on it never happened ?

[ronnieronalde]

24 minutes ago, Boycie said:

Bloody hell, @David just offered me 1000/1 on it never happened ?

snap his hands off pal.

I can send you google links. She went on to win Miss World Fitness as well. She's in my facebook and will indeed confirm it all. Including the daft jokes and the lounger.

I don't lie about my old life. I don't need to. It's incredible enough without making stuff up.

Danijela Haric ? You may find her younger pictures where she's less into fitness and more into beauty under Daniela Haric.

[BathRam72]

1 hour ago, ronnieronalde said:

She was sitting by the swimming pool in Mallorca and there were no loungers left. Which was a massive surprise that she'd missed out on one as she was half German as well.

Stunning, loveliest bikini I've ever seen, just mouth wateringly gorgeous ?

Me being full of myself by then. I picked my own lounger up carried it over head past the crowds and gave it to her telling her she was too lovely to be sitting on the concrete. The lounger was so heavy I nearly dropped it and fell into the pool

She invited me to sit down and the whole hotel pub by the pool started cheering. Man, what happened, I used to be so charming ?

Everything was going fantastically well until we went out for the night to the Bucaneer. Then she saw me dancing and I mean really dancing and it was downhill from there.

She ended up marrying a brain surgeon, I ended up selling sky insurance for 5 quid a month.

We're still in touch, she''s still gorgeous and I've still got no chance. Probably off to see her and her kids this summer.

So what you are saying is, you didn't really pull her and she definitely didn't pull you.